Topic for New Insights

[New Insights]

Thank you for guiding me. Here is what I have to say to the questions below:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

Absolutely not. There is no separate self. There never was, and never will be. All the pain and suffering “I” went through was packed inside this illusory self. The thought of separation explains all the chaos in the world. Governments fight wars. Robbers steal. Neighbors quarrel and hurt each other. And it goes on and on. Everyone is seeking peace, and they think its by gaining control and power. But, they are only seeking their own self.

That’s my story. I’ve been seeking peace, forgiveness, and freedom from past mistakes. I prayed about them. Confessed them. Cried over them. All the while I was seeking freedom from the emotional pain. Now I know, all my emotional pain stemmed from misidentification. I thought I was a self who could have problems. I thought I was a separate person who could suffer. My relief is discovering that “I” can’t suffer because “I” is only a thought; I am not a thought! What am I? Boundless energy.

I can only speak for now: There is no separate self. I’m shaking my head as I consider the question: the answer is no. No separate entity called a self or a me.

I don’t have any stories about falling off of a cliff or anything like that. I do know the day, February 5, something had changed. It’s only been four days but I still see what I see: no separation.

Though I did not fall into a crack, and new information has not been downloaded, I feel free. To know that there is no one to have made a mistake is freeing indeed. Things do come up, and something came up today, but those things are not happening to me. They are not mine; there are free to come and go.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

It obviously starts in childhood. Your parents say: you’re my boy. Your name is Hancock. You are good. Your are bad, etc. And the dream goes on. You got to learn to be appropriate to fit in, and you build up a whole vocabulary around you as a self. The pile gets higher and higher, and then you become a seeker, I guess if you are lucky.

I became a seeker because life was not working for this me. Now, I’ve discovered that there was no me for life to work. It’s just happening, but to no one. The clouds don’t happen to me. The sun doesn’t happen to me. What arises in this awareness just arise, and this Boundless Energy is aware of it. Awareness is. I am not a doer, or controller, or an owner.

A big trap in my story was that I made mistakes. Gosh, I use to torture myself about this. What I see know is that I am not and have never been the chooser of anything. It comes and goes but it happens to no one. Typing is happening now, but there is no I to do it. When it stops it stops. No doer or controller. Actually, no thinker; just thoughts.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

As I’ve said, I haven’t heard any sirens; no bells. I don’t have a clever story to tell. With that said, since I see that there is no self there is a peace, even though there are things to address. I am not a machine; I have opinions and I can say yes or know. But I don’t have to get caught up in the story of me. Things don’t happen to me, even though things happen through me.

I doubt that this means anything, but I’ve felt uncomfortable sensations since I started typing these words. I also spoke with my wife and disagreed with her about some things. I’ll mention something I want her to be aware of after I finish this note. The thing is, before I acted from anger; now, I can speak up for myself. I can say what I mean without being attached to something. I’ve been harboring a concern I have for more than a week because I didn’t want to get into it. Now, I can speak up because it is what I think and that’s it. No attachment. No me to be attached to anything.

Will the sensations, doubts which arise, and disagreements with my wife end? I’ll see. But even if they don: who is the one stuck in there? There are just happenings but they happen to no one.

Before, I was filled with guilt. I’ve made poor choices, I thought. Now, I know that life happened exactly the way it should. Broken relationships? Good. Lost money? Better. That’s the way Boundless Energy flowed. It is the way it is because that’s the way it is.

I use to think “getting it” meant something mysterious. The gurus make it seem mysterious. They seem to know so much. Now, this is very simple: take a look into your experience. Where “is” a you located as a single person?

In religion I use to try to prove that a person needed to be saved; my way, or God’s way, as I understood it. I don’t believe that any more. When my wife talks about heaven, and her father meeting someone else up there, I just listen. I have nothing to argue against or argue for. Belief in heaven is a good thought for some people, and they can have it for as long as they need it. I have nothing to defend; there is no one to defend any position.

3) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Sandra (my guide) was patient with me. I had a start and stop with a few guides. At one point I thought I had been abandoned because my past was too messed up. Out of the blue, Sandra contacted me and ask if I was still seeking a guide. She told me that I did not have to reveal deeply personal details. I’m so glad she did. None of that stuff matters. Talking about that stuff only keeps the illusion of me going. So, I didn’t have to go into the story of me, which does not exist. That was huge for me.

Second, Sandra referred me to a writing by Iilona which talked about looking. By the time I got to the end of that reading it was over. Who is the one who suffered, I asked; I could not find him. I’ve been talking about this ever since. No, I don’t tell people what they don’t want to know, but I am able to say things in a way to keep it straight. No self.

I don’t feel that I merely believe this. I see this, and I came to it by looking.

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

Nope to all. What happens happens, and that’s the way the cookie crumbles. This is a true saying. People say it. Another saying: it is what it is. Yup. A true saying. No one controls anything, even if they think they do. I control nothing. I didn’t control what I left and I didn’t control who I’m with. It’s the way the pattern of me operated in this dream. I’m not a chooser: who is here to choose?

6) Anything to add?

Well, everything boils down to one think: look and see that you are not here as a separate entity. I’m excited, and this is odd to say, about how things unfold. I’m curious to see if the pattern of me will crash and burn. When a story arises, will something say that I don’t have it?

In this moment I respond: who is the one who can’t have it? If there is a story, I answer now: hey, there goes a story, even the story of me. Ah, I say, but I say through that on February 5: there is no separate entity called a me.

Stay tune.

I’ll look forward to your reply, Sandra. Ask more questions if you like. I enjoy the dialogue.

Hancock

[Canfora]

We have no more questions for you, Hancock. Welcome to the LU community!

This thread will be locked and archived in the Read Only Archives, you can always find it there: http://liberationunleashed.com/nation/v ... hp?f=5&t=8

You will receive a message from an administrator inviting you to the FB groups. I will greet you there :)

It was a joy being your guide and a privilege to be with you in this journey to the Gateless Gate!

Love, Sandra

[New Insights]

Sandra,

I wrote extensively on the questions you posed last time. As I check today, Sunday, February 9, 4:55 p.m., it doesn't appear that they were posted. Please check on your side and let me know if you have them. If not I'll do them again. It will take a few days for me to get to it. I have long days at work coming up. Please let me know what you find.

Hancock