Giving another shot, looking for a guide

[clearskye]

Filip,
There are more questions, perhaps stemming from an uncertainty that you communicate in your answers:

on Q4: "I see that all my life was kind of scripted for this to happen."
Is this real or a thought?

"There are just images, thoughts, concepts. But they are very untested."
Untested? What would test them?

"Choosing and intending itself exist"
Do they really exist? Or this is just a thought about an apparent occurrence?

Hang in here--this is simply clarification that will benefit you, so that you find your own certainty in direct experience.
with love,
Skye

[filipek]

HI, of course i will answer ;)

Q4: "I see that all my life was kind of scripted for this to happen."
Is this real or a thought?

yeah, it is just a point of view. not the ultimate reality ;) It is a thought about how the experience has been unfolding.

"There are just images, thoughts, concepts. But they are very untested."
Untested? What would test them?

it's my writing error i think. What i meant is that what was behind the label "me" was untested. Not the images and thoughts themselves.

"Choosing and intending itself exist"
Do they really exist? Or this is just a thought about an apparent occurrence?

Yes it's a thought about occurrence. When i was writing it, i think i wanted to point that there is some process that can be called intending or choosing. as opposed to for example ME, that can't be experience in any way (so it cant be called a process). Of course from the wider perspective, chosing and intending does not exist at all as it is inseparable from the rest. I hope it makes sense, i can go into it more if you would like.

hugs

filip

[clearskye]

sorry, got caught up in the holidays. Sent your response on to the others. Let me get back to you!
with love,
Skye

[clearskye]

Hi Filip,
Not getting responses from the elders. Probably because it is the holidays.

But they want to feel you are certain about seeing through the separate self. Is it clear that the "I" is an illusion?
with love,
Skye

[clearskye]

Hi Filip,
this question has come up about something you said:
"It is a thought about how the experience has been unfolding."

Can you explain exactly what you mean by that, please?

with love,
Skye

[filipek]

Hey

It's clear that I is an illusion. Sometimes however i encounter some I-thoughts with lot of attachment so it might take a moment to see through them.

"It is a thought about how the experience has been unfolding. "
translates to:
-it is an interpretation of past experiences.


Hugs Filip

[clearskye]

Thanks, Filip,
Yes, I have had that experience as well.
with love,
Skye

[filipek]

Hey,

So yesterday morning i asked "is there a separate self" and answer came up "yes". I tried to deny it for the whole day and pretend there is no ;) during the night i really looked with intensity and seen that there is no separate self :)) i somehoe seem to associate I with body sensations and feelings. Is a relapse like this normal?

There was one more nice thing that happened some time after i looked that evening that i can tell you about. I experienced myself as pure love in which all the events are occuring. One the one hand it was awesome, but on the other it seemed pretty obvious and not a big deal. The only difference was very extatic flow of energy in my body. But again it wasnt a big bang. Than i look at form. Because many teaching emphasise emptieness and not the form. So i was still kind of dualistic about the fact that theree is the space, and there is everything else. So what i have seen is that the form is the expression of love(but not separate from empitness, just emptiness manifested). That was a big relief :))) anyway, today i have notice that im trying to recreate last night's experience and it's obviously not working :D the separate self is not real that's experiancable. BUt love became just a word describing memory, but it's lost it's aliveness. I guess i need to stop clinging to particular experiences huh?

hugs filip

[filipek]

Hey, couple of updates

this got deeper. Working with question "was there ever a self" is really bringing out the juices today. There was still a big part of seeing it as a state. So asking if this is a state or just recognizing nature of myself that was always here really helps. BEcause it's not that im getting anything. So whenever i have some "got it" (and holding on to this "got it" tightly) i am asking "so it wasn't here 5 minutes ago? It's really helpful right now.

However i've noticed that i have loads of energy invested in this automatic pattern of seeking. Some future idea of a state, happienes, whatever. Mental activity is really strong about that. Any pointers on what to do with it? A bit fed up with it as it's not serving anymore - it's making me restless.

Also a question- Do you really see it that way that there is an event such as "seeing through separate self"? In my experience something like this happend but it had gone "back" for a moment (as i wrote you in previous post). I'm getting the idea that liberation unleashed is founded on this principle (or is it just my idea about how it works?;).

Hugs!!

Filip

[clearskye]

Hi Filip,
You are going deeper; this is good. Let's continue with this. Relapses continue when the seeing isn't yet stable.
Your experience of love is just that--nice, of course, but an experience not to hang on to. Anything that comes and goes is not what you have been looking for. There can be a period where seeking is seen through, but continues. Yes, frustrating and restless, as you say, but if the root is TRULY cut, it will wilt and die of its own accord.
"seeing through the separate self" might more clearly be expressed as finally seeing the truth of our direct experience. The missing word for me is illusory. Seeing through the illusory separate self.

You are doing great here.
with love,
Skye

[filipek]

About the love experience i told you, i guess i just wanted to share it. I had tons of flashy spiritual experiences but now there are more just simple obvious and yet so deep. Like seeing god without all the glitter but as an obvious fact. I also noticed a pattern of clinging to pleasurable experiences - trying to repeat them.

So you are saying that the root wasnt truly cut ? Can you point me somewhere ? (ahh, i asked that last question even though i am aware that it was asked by the seeker voice, that is still operating ;)

merry christmas if you participate :))

[clearskye]

Hi Filip,
Thanks for the Christmas wishes. Yes, we do celebrate it, although I prefer Solstice, these days. Christmas is so commercial.

I'm suggesting that the root is strongly nicked, but perhaps not solidly slashed through.
Best wishes and love to you and yours as well,
Skye