Dear Guide, can you awake ´me´?

[alguidar]

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It doesn´t feel much different.
I just attach a bullshit tag to thoughts. lol

I still take things personally but i know that it´s not really real.
I feel that i was never born, the myth that i was born and will die as separate finite entity is gone.
I was never that entity.
The difference between me and a cat is just that this bodymind has some sort of self awareness.

Other differences are these:
I no longer believe my opinions.
I know i am not my mind.

My daily life is quite the same.
Can´t see much change.

[alguidar]

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Not giving a shit about expectations, maybe that was a turning point.

Expectations are just another story that reinforces/suggests that theres is an independent entity that can get to somewhere other than what`s arising now.

[alguidar]

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

No, I don´t decide. It´s just what happens.

Deciding, choosing is just a story.

I don´t make anything happen, thoughts arise, actions are taken. No entity in there making things happen.

Examples from my experience... hummm, well, speech comes out of my mouth spontaneously, sometimes when i´m talking, i´m a bit amazed on how ´I´ come up with really good catch phrases, creative and funny stuff.
I got the sense that words come out automatically without any prior thought "i´m gonna say this, this and that" or sense that there is an ´I´ producing those words.

[alguidar]

6) Anything to add?

Nah, not much to say.

Just a big thank you to Ilona and Sandra.

[Canfora]

Obrigada pelas tuas respostas, Marco!
Entro em contato quando tiver novidades, ou aqui no forum ou por PM.

Bjs, Sandra

[Canfora]

Hi Marco!

Ilona has these questions for you:

- has the seeking stopped?

- you mentioned that you are unconceptual awareness.
Is this "awareness" a new label for a "you"?
When you look, can you find this awareness or only experience, only life being lived?

[alguidar]

Ilona has these questions for you:

- has the seeking stopped?

This is hard to answer.

The seeking is down from a 10/10 to a 1/10.
I don´t think the seeking stopped completely.

I´m still drawn to listen to LU audios, Ilona meetings audios and Urban Guru Cafe audios.

But there is kind of a don´t give a shit attitude because i know i don´t have control about any of that.
There´s no entity deciding if i should listen to audios or play Collin MacRae Dirt 3 on the PS3.
Things just happen.

- you mentioned that you are unconceptual awareness.
Is this "awareness" a new label for a "you"?

No, that non conceptual awareness is just a word i used to explain the kind of "void" where things show up.

When you look, can you find this awareness or only experience, only life being lived?

That awareness is impossible to avoid. So whether i look or not it´s always there. It´s like pure subjectivity.
Trying to look for it maybe is counterproductive because it reinforces the idea that there´s someone separate
from it that want´s to find it.

So answering to your question, when i look i find experience: thoughts , sounds, touch etc.
For me it does not make sense to look for awareness. It´s self evident.