Any guides available I am ready

[Now23]

Does awareness think? Or is it just aware with no identity?

I don't think awareness thinks since thoughts emanate from awareness . I think awareness is just aware with no identity ,awareness is only aware of itself.

While sitting quietly looking , not thinking, can a self be found?

Self is manufactured by conditioning and thoughts.Sitting quietly ,once the thinking is put a side self is nonexistent . Once thoughts are out of side only awareness is present .

Does awareness think? Take a walk for 10 or 15 minutes or as long as you like, notice breathing, seeing, smelling, hearing, colors, do you need to think to be aware of them?

Breathing , seeing , hearing,smelling happens with out any afford on my part.
I don't need to think to be aware of them.They will be happening anyway regardless if I am thinking of it or not .

[Metta777]

Hi Chris,

Not sure what you preferred to be called.

I don't think awareness thinks since thoughts emanate from awareness . I think awareness is just aware with no identity ,awareness is only aware of itself.

Right, Awareness just is. Thoughts are not self. So with everything we talked about is there a self? do you think your ready for the final questions? Do you have more questions for me? Love, metta

[Now23]

There is no self.There is just experience .I believe I am ready for the final questions .
Do you think I am ?

[Metta777]

Hi Chris,

I will post the questions and see how it goes. If there are any questions left we can work on them.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

6) Anything to add?


Love, Metta

[Now23]

Hi Metta
I answered your questions in the same order as you presented them
To avoid quotes .


1)From my observation there never was separate self in any form , because we overlooked (in most cases) awareness in a first place ,mind creates me ,I
, self which thru conditioning and thoughts comes to exist as separate entity, a person . Anything is done we thing I did it , something happens ,it happened to me (entity). And in reality we are only aware because of awareness itself not some persona who navigates the body.

2)Well the separation happens when a child starts being exposed to objects , labeling , which create the illusion of separateness and ultimately the child eventually views self us separate entity from everything else and starting there the believe gets deeper and deeper.


3)It feels nice to see it especially that its been right here with me the whole time
Since for ever. it does not have the wow spect to it thou ,I am not experiencing this blissful continuity , that i experienced couple of months ego it does not feel the same at all maybe only 10 % of it , but then again what I experienced could have been just a blissful state that passed .(well it did ).


4)The last bit that pushed me over was your first question in the last post.
I had a hard time to give you the answer did not know how to approach it
Because conceptually yes it is simple ,but to directly experience it is much deferent . So I asked myself how do I know that I am aware .
So when I took mind,thoughts and concepts out of the way I was left with (the stillness thats always there )awareness itself which thru I :) (paradox) was aware of the fact I am aware.



5)Do I control anything : I don't control breathing , seeing, hearing,it just happens I can stop breathing on my own but not for long ,some times I think I make decisions but that could be an illusion ,cause decision is made and my illusory (I) that thinks the (I) is making the decision so I am about 50 /50 in terms of Fully experientially be convinced but agreeing with the fact that the self is illusory (strongly agree)therefore self can not make
Any decisions cause is not existing therefore I don't really control anything.

6)I am not sure .

[Metta777]

Hi Chris,

Question 4....
Great job. I need to clarify a few points in the last two answers. Is awareness just aware as no separation from self or environment or does awareness come from and I ? If there is no I, how can an I be aware of awareness?

Question 5......
If there is no I, how can it be making decisions? Remember the video there was a lapse between the decision made and when the man was aware of the decision. So who made the decision if the man wasn't even aware yet? Thoughts just arise, then later it becomes a pattern of thoughts or a concept, it is stored in the brain as memory so that down the road it can use the same info for a decision again. That is conditioning. Keeping in mind how the brain works, on past info is that really free will?

If there is no I, and no edge to awareness that can be found would that mean perhaps that there was no separation between you and the surroundings that are there. Watch the Holographic Universe on Y-tube. Love, Metta

[Metta777]

Hi Chris,

I am leaving on a short unexpected vacation and will not return until next week. On Monday, I will resume guiding again. I will contact you sometime during Mon.

While I am away I have a zen exercise for you to do. It is called serious sitting. It really works well, but requires you do it exactly as instructed. Plus you really must be committed to the experience and not interrupt it. The first time meditate for one hour without moving at all. So do whatever you need to do before sitting down, drink, bathroom etc. :-) Perhaps the lotus position would be good for you or whatever position you normally use for meditating. After sometime you might notice some discomfort, we will use this discomfort to advantage. Do nothing to help the discomfort, stay as you are. Now we are going to contract and expand consciousness. Zoom in, zoom out, zoom in, zoom out. First when you notice this sensation focus on it, for 5 minutes or as long as you can. Then shift, and feel the sensation spreading throughout your whole body. The discomfort will spread until it fills your whole body right to the top of your head. Now contract back to the point of the discomfort again and focus on it for 5, 10 minutes, really feel it, stay with it, love it. Then spread it out again throughout your whole body, slowly spread the sensation until it is all the way out. Then for the last of the hour let thoughts totally drop, rest in breathing, feel the breath go in and out of your nostrils. This requires stillness as it is more delicate then the stomach and chest that many people use. This will start a process moving, you may actually feel the spreading after awhile or it may be subconscious. Also, you may have startling thoughts arise, just let them float by, notice them, but bring no attention to them. This is common, but it may not even happen, this is just so you will not be surprised, the ego does not like being displaced. If needed you can do a second session, but it must then be two hours, doing the same process. Get up slowly afterward. Please write everything down while it is fresh for you and we can discuss the experience when I return. I am looking forward to it.

Namaste and Love, Metta

[Now23]

Metta have a great time on your vacation
I will do the exercise .
Thank you

[Metta777]

Hi Chris,
Will be traveling tomorrow. When the exercise is done please post on it, reactions, experiences, etc. Talk to you Mon. late or Tues. AM. Love, Metta

[Now23]

Hi Metta
I hope You had a nice time .
I did see holographic universe.Is is great to have all the science behind as well.It is amazing how little we can actually see and perceive and be so convinced about its reality .
I did the exercise couple if times , last week was a little hectic for me.
So I did everything according to instructions my discomfort happened in a form of little sweat drop on my eyebrow it was a very intense experience considering the fact that the drop continue to very slowly travel down on my eyelid intensifying the discomfort so I kept zooming in and out eventually spreading the the discomfort thru out my whole body which caused the discomfort to disappear or at least be bearable and then the thoughts would show up , nothing startling just thoughts . There is a possibility that my experience was spoiled by the construction going on out side .(I live in a rather noisy area as of lately )once the power tools started hitting I really had a hard time but I continued till the full hour.When I finished my body felt very still , after I opened my eyes my body felt stuff
,inside I felt very alive but my body felt like it got stuck to the chair ,I almost felt disconnected from my body .
That's the whole experience so far.
Can't wait to resume.

Have a great evening.

[Metta777]

Hi Chris,

In my post about the video before I went on vacation I had some clarification questions for you to answer. I would like you to review that post and answer those last questions please.

Question 4....
Great job. I need to clarify a few points in the last two answers. Is awareness just aware as no separation from self or environment or does awareness come from and I ? If there is no I, how can an I be aware of awareness?

Question 5......
If there is no I, how can it be making decisions? Remember the video there was a lapse between the decision made and when the man was aware of the decision. So who made the decision if the man wasn't even aware yet? Thoughts just arise, then later it becomes a pattern of thoughts or a concept, it is stored in the brain as memory so that down the road it can use the same info for a decision again. That is conditioning. Keeping in mind how the brain works, on past info is that really free will?

If there is no I, and no edge to awareness that can be found would that mean perhaps that there was no separation between you and the surroundings that are there.

Love, Metta

[Now23]

Hi Metta

Oops...sorry here it is

So in question 4)... Awareness is Aware as no separation from self or environment it can not come from I cause I is illusory non existent.


Question 5)...the I once again can not make decisions . Decisions are made by conditioning previous experiences stored in the brain .So in reality we have no free will , decisions are made
Based on previously mentioned factors.
Sunflower for example turns itself to face the sun ,the is no little mind telling sunflower it is time to turn the sun is behind you, the chemistry and the sunflowers mechanism is turning the flower towards the sun. So in a similar way out body , brain, chemical reactions make decisions for us.

If there is no I, and no edge to awareness that can be found would that mean perhaps that there was no separation between you and the surroundings that are there.

Precisely yes there is no separation between me and the surroundings in edgeless awareness if there is no I.

[Metta777]

Hi Chris,

Will present your answers and get back to you. Thumbs up. :-) Metta

[Metta777]

Hi Chris,

I have decided I won't be guiding anymore, I think you should post for another guide on the board. Then you will be able to clarify any further questions you have. I enjoyed working with you and I think you have done really well. Love, Metta

[Pallavi]

Hi Chris,

Since Metta is away, I'll be trying to help you with your last few questions. Do let me know if that is ok. If you would like someone else, please post in guiding area once again.

Best,
Pallavi