I'm thinking of all the automatic processes like breathing and blood pumping. There is a perception that breathing can be controlled, i.e. in sports, meditation, etc. but only from a concerted effort. Once that effort is done or forgotten, breathing still continues with no thought to it. I remember as a child, that first awareness of being afraid that I would suffocate if I didn't remember to breath. The adult in me says, "Aww, don't worry about it little boy." Luckily my mind was easily soon distracted with other things. Hmm, with walking. I guess not. When I run up some stairs, by the time this "I" notices and attaches itself to this activity, "I'm running up the stairs", the action has already taken place. Walking, running, seems automatic too.It's clear that when we breathe, blink, digest food etc. there's no "I" involved, but how is it for you when walking?
Since the start of when you and I began communicating, I've noticed that these activities just sort of happen with no thought. If let's say, I knocked my elbow against the door while doing one of these activities, I would normally have gotten pissed off for being clumsy and cursed. Now, when this happens, there is this register of action, then the onset of pain, then the non-pain or return to normality, then a recommencement of the activity. The "I" wants to be there to say "Ow that hurt, damn it". But not anymore it seems.How is it when doing various everyday things like say, brushing your teeth, washing up, that kind of thing?
They seem to be automatic. Sipping my hot drink, jumping away to read and respond to an email I just received, another sip.Is there any "I" there for any of these actions, or are they just like "automatic"?
Yes I can "hear" this voice that says I drank. But sometimes, that voice isn't there at all. It comes and goes.Look to see whether, when "you" do these things there is sometimes a thought, just after that says, "I did that."
They seem to be. Its like when you see at a glance, maybe in an a movie, or a series of what they call cinemagraphs (http://imgur.com/a/OaCKm), life all happening with no thought to be found. There seems to be no difference between a tree losing its leaves and a couple watching a campfire. Are these humans thinking or are they just doing? In all these instances, it seems the right set of conditions have make it possible to perform whatever action they are performing. It seems that whenever there is an effort to place "thought" into these actions, there is pain and suffering in which separation is the root. I don't want to go back to that now, ever. I can probably trace all my suffering to this false "I" that has been over-thinking my entire life, even making me melancholy during times of absolute beauty, like fishing for hours in a perfect day, and never catching a fish but not caring if I do or not.Are all actions "automatic"?
No, it just happened. hahaha.,everything all around me is happening like a river just happens. Is the thinking I just an anchor in this river?Raise your right arm (or don’t). In that process of raising the right arm (or not), a decision is made, or at least something happens (or doesn’t). But can you pinpoint the actual moment of choice and find the actual entity that appears to be making that choice? In direct experience, can that moment of choice, that apparent chooser, actually be found? Or does the idea “i just chose to (not) raise my right arm” come after the event itself?
Nick
