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[Matrix929]

Wow thank you for that. Your absolutely right if I could explain it I would have got it already. I know see how without some guidance from people like you how easy it is to fall back to "I" without realizing it. Gonna try to refocus let you know how I do tomorrow.

thanks again I really needed that wake up call. :)

[Matrix929]

Mike, as long as you're trying to figure it out, you'll never get there.
You absolutely have to put aside trying to figure it out, and just Look. If it could be figured out, it could be explained. If it could be explained, you'd already have it.

This rang so true to me and really woke me back up. I realize now that I have been analyzing and trying to comprehend everything out and not really looking. Almost like I fell back asleep without even knowing it. It's times like these I am thankful for having a guide to keep pointing me in the right direction :)

There is an assumption implicit in what you are saying, and that is that there is
a] a you, that is being held back by
b] something
That assumption, which is implicit in our language and culture, IS the problem.

LOOK at what is actually happening, in the present moment, when you just look at what is happening in the present moment. Thoughts happen, but the content of those thoughts are distractions. Just watch the thoughts for how they occur, how, like clouds, they appear, then drift away. Pay exquisite focused attention to what you are calling "something holding me back", but DO NOT THINK about it. Thoughts about it will come and go, just let them, but they are the clouds and you are looking at the limitless sky in which they occur.

What you said there was exactly what I needed to hear you answered questions I had without even asking. The past couple of days I've used your advice and have let go of the content of thoughts which is difficult at times it's like I went backwards for a bit and became consumed by thoughts and me and trying to figure it all out just like before I even started this but thanks to your pointing I feel back on track.

Thank you for that Pablo.

[pozablo]

Glad to help.

Now, please, go back and review the last few pages of our conversation and look deeply (not think deeply) into all the things we've discussed and questions I've asked. then compose a fairly detailed and complete response in the form of how you now see this whole thing right now--what you see and observe, what you're focussing on, and what questions you have. Also, please really look into any questions that I've asked that you haven't answered.

Cheers!
P.

[Matrix929]

Ok I will do that give me a day or so.

Thanks.

[Matrix929]

Sorry for the delay had a busy weekend one of my kids birthday parties. I am still in this not giving up.

Ok I reviewed the last few pages and this is how I see things now.

I know there is no me when focused on the present moment thoughts, actions, emotions all happen and when I look honestly without thinking or analyzing it just looking for the source I have no answer where it comes from there is no proof that it is coming from me or there is an I making decisions which when the mind comes in is a little hard to swallow. I mean I don't make decisions or do anything it's all just happening which is crazy according to my thoughts thats what i found when i just looked at what is holding me back the thought "this is crazy" kept coming up. Just starting to realize that this may actually be true is hard to accept even though I'm starting to see that it is so true.

Again sorry for the delay don't give up on me with 3 kids there is sometimes not enough hours in the day. :)

Thank you

[pozablo]

it's all just happening which is crazy according to my thoughts

Right :-)
Crazy according to thoughts.

Except for this fictional "I", is there anything in the whole universe that is not "just happening"?

Which is more crazy...A] these thoughts, feelings, actions etc. are one with everything else in the universe, or B] there's this extra thing in the universe, this oh so magnificent "I", which stands apart from it and somehow creates stuff all on it's own?

[Matrix929]

it's all just happening which is crazy according to my thoughts

Right :-)
Crazy according to thoughts.

Except for this fictional "I", is there anything in the whole universe that is not "just happening"?

Which is more crazy...A] these thoughts, feelings, actions etc. are one with everything else in the universe, or B] there's this extra thing in the universe, this oh so magnificent "I", which stands apart from it and somehow creates stuff all on it's own?

No everything in the universe is just happening no exceptions.

When you put it that way B is definitely more crazy lol. It's all perspective the way my thoughts defined it was completely different from your definition. My thoughts defined it in a way that caused fear. Your definition stopped my thoughts in its tracks and actually caused humour. :) I see what you mean by "Look" now all it takes is to really look honestly and the whole thing changes in a moment. No analyzing required. I see that now.

[pozablo]

Beautiful.

So, is there an "I" anywhere?
Has there ever been?

[Matrix929]

Just got in a bit late here I will answer tomorrow. Thanks

[Matrix929]

Beautiful.

So, is there an "I" anywhere?
Has there ever been?

No there is no I anywhere and there has never been. What creates the I is the mind which is generally a labelling machine. It associates things and events and emotions with mike who is the character that interacts with the world around him. What seems like a decision that is chosen by mike was not actually chosen it just happened then the mind labels it giving the illusion that "I" just decided to do that. That's the whole purpose of the mind labelling everything and creating the experience of I. In fact when mike looks at say a tree he doesn't really look at the tree and see it for what it is what he sees is the label/definition of the tree and misses the whole picture if that makes any sense, because of all these automatic definitions and labels we don't truly see things as there are almost like being partially asleep. The mind also imposes that everything must be defined or explained or labeled when all you need to do is really look and everything just is this is what I sometimes struggle with sometimes I'm trying so hard to get this that I don't realize I'm analyzing it all and going nowhere no analyzing or definition or label can cut through because your just placing labels on top of labels instead of cutting through the labels to get to the truth there is no me.

[pozablo]

is what I sometimes struggle with sometimes I'm trying so hard to get this that I don't realize I'm analyzing it all and going nowhere

Is this still going on?

[Matrix929]

Sorry meant to say was struggling with. I've seen through that.

[pozablo]

I'm smiling big!!!

Nice, huh?

So here are some standard questions we ask to make sure things are clear.
Please answer each as clearly as possible.
Some are redundant with what we've recently discussed, but please go ahead and then I'll submit them to see if any other guides have questions.

REally happy for you!

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

6) Anything to add?

Cheers,
Pablo

[pozablo]

Mike?
Mike?

[Matrix929]

Hi Pablo I thought I responded on Sunday to your questions and it was quite long it looks as though it did not go through I guess I will have to redo it again. Sorry for the late response I ad problems with my home Internet since Monday night it's finally back up.

I guess I will have to redo the answers to your questions again but it's late here so I will do it tomorrow.

Again sorry I don't know what happen to my response.