You're not confused Rose, you just haven't LOOKED yet...
Thinking about LOOKING is only thinking...
If nothing at all has changed in your perception since starting here,
then you haven't LOOKED.
This is the thing you must do.
There is no other way that I'm aware of.
Nothing changes with this, only your PERCEPTION.
And yes, you will know when you have SEEN.
I found this post for you from one of our guides....
Thought it might be good for you to see.
Nope. You can't get there (to seeing through the illusion of self) from here (logical understanding). If you could, you would be there already.
There are no words to adequately describe how to see, no maps of how to get there; all I can do is Point to where you should look.
This is not a mental exercise; all the thinking you can ever do will never get you there.
I will give you clue, because I was also a Thinker. Just before I saw it, I suddenly realised that my guide was telling me to LOOK, not to Think. When I looked, I saw it.
What is Looking? It is focusing on your Direct Experience. Seeing with the eyes, hearing with the ears, feeling with the skin, smelling with the nose, tasting with the tongue. Sensation, before it is judged and labeled, is direct experience.
to get to Direct Experience of it, you will have to step away from Thinking About everything and begin to use your senses.
Those of us who live in a mental world have much the hardest time letting go of the idea that there is something more to be understood. There isn't. You understand it all; now you just need to shift focus from thinking to directly experiencing.
You may ask what makes direct experience more effective than intellectualization? Two things, at least: first it takes us out of our Story about what is happening and gets us in touch with what is actually happening; and second it is a peaceful quiet "place" which is always available merely by shifting focus away from thinking and to sensation. It really is a peace which passeth understanding, understanding being stuck in thought.
There is no goal here. I just point to the fact that there is no actual entity self/I/me, and if you genuinely search for one everywhere in your direct experience, you will SEE that it is an illusion created by language and supported by nearly everyone around you.
I cannot give this experience to you; you will have to SEE it for yourself.
If you wanted to SEE the Eiffel Tower with the eyes in your head, I would direct you to Paris, not to a picture-postcard stand. Same here. If you want to SEE through the illusion that you are or have a separate self that has some control over an individual slice of Life, you must go to direct experience, for that is where this can be SEEN.
Try not to Think this all through so much. It only makes thought tangles that prevent you from experiencing directly the fact of the matter: "I" is a label. There is no "I" outside of thought/language.
No hypothetical I can ever assist you in directly experiencing the fact of the non-existence of an actual entity "I".
