I'm ready to try again.

[tek]

You are not in control of anything. Trying thinking a certain thought. Can you watch the thoughts and select what kind of thought you would like?

Sure, I do know that I can't control which thoughts that are arising. But are you saying that I don't have a choice in anything? That I'm totally left out to circumstances?

[bluejohns]

Have a look. You tell me...

[tek]

Have a look. You tell me...

Okay, I'm with you. Thoughts arise spontaneously. Desires to do things arise spontaneously, and it seems like the body reacts to these spontaneous desires arising.

[bluejohns]

Good. What else are you noticing?

[tek]

Good. What else are you noticing?

What do you mean what else?

[bluejohns]

What else are you noticing about thoughts, emotions, feelings, volitions, control. For a while, just watch things happen. See what you see.

[tek]

What else are you noticing about thoughts, emotions, feelings, volitions, control. For a while, just watch things happen. See what you see.

Am I looking for anything in particular?

[bluejohns]

Can you find an 'I' that is in control?

[tek]

Can you find an 'I' that is in control?

No. But the one who is looking is 'I'.

This is what I find true:

The one in control cannot be found in experience. Only the effects of the one in control can be seen. And these effects seem to suggest that there is a center in this body which controls certain aspects of experience, but that there also is other aspects of experience that it cannot control. This "center" is what I'm referring to when I say 'I'.

This is how I see it when I investigate. If you have a way for me to see it in another light, then please share.

[bluejohns]

Let's look at the 'center'. Look directly at it and tell me what you see / feel / experience.

[tek]

Let's look at the 'center'. Look directly at it and tell me what you see / feel / experience.

It can't be examined. Every time I try to examine it, it slips away. It's like trying to catch an eel with oily hands. And yet it's "there" somehow (when I say "there" I mean that it's present somehow, but still not located anywhere). It has no attributes, and yet it seems to be aliveness itself. Energetic somehow.

[bluejohns]

Please can you keep trying for me? Any attributes at all...

[tek]

Please can you keep trying for me? Any attributes at all...

I still don't find any attributes for this 'center'. However, upon investigating further I do see that the 'center' isn't necessarily in control. It seems to do nothing other than observing. Thoughts are arising spontaneously causing actions in experience.