An open invitation. Jump in.

[Konrad]

I was so angry and frustrated at your post, at myself, because I realized that you don't have nothing, that I chase rainbows.
Anger arised because your post didn't match my expectations, I took that as a personal fail.
Every expectation is ego based I think.
I was angry because I think I was searching for satisfactory belief with guru telling me what to do to become whatever I want.
I was hoping for solace and whatnot.
I know for a long time that outside world mirrors my actions so when I was angry at you I must've been angry at me only.
This thing teaches me to think individually, without any smokescreens.

[Ilona]

Passed that, what DO you expect?
Take a look.

All is already as it always is. Life has no job for you. Manager can retire safely.

[Konrad]

I expect to suffer less, fear less, worry less, that sums it up.

[Ilona]

Then you really have to take a look at that sufferer. Is there a sufferer? How does suffering happen if you don't think about it?

Read this post, it may help you to see clearer
http://markedeternal.blogspot.com/2011/ ... ferer.html

Can a thought suffer?

[Konrad]

Hey,

I read 80% of that, and I only felt drawn into that text, it was like another story in my head with pictures of D. and her husband and her problems etc., I did forget about reality while reading that, it was like a good book, but nothing more.

Maybe I'm not taking this seriously enough, maybe I don't see the problem, maybe I need to grow up to do this, maybe I'm missing something key.


Wait a minute, you asked

Can a thought suffer?

, answer was no and then it hit me that there are thoughts describing feeling of suffering.

So thoughts are describing this feeling of beingness via structure called self?

[Ilona]

Thoughts are narrating a story and it's believed that there is this me, that is suffering.
That is only thoughts about 'me suffering'. Apearing effortlessly.

Is there a 'me'?
Really take a look at that.

[Konrad]

I don't know if I understand this correctly but there is absolutely no real thing called "me", it's not "me" who suffers.

"Me" is like "Papa Smurf", two letters, m and e, combined into word "me". "Me" doesn't mean anything.

"Me" is also a sound sheep makes.

Is that what you ask about?

[Ilona]

Kind of, meeeee is a sound and nothing behind it.
It's not a question of who, but what is this.

What is suffering? Is there a sufferer?

[Konrad]

Hey,

What is suffering? Is there a sufferer?

Suffering happens, I cannot locate a sufferer, but this does not occur to me somehow.

The fact that I cannot locate a sufferer doesn't convince this mind maybe?

Or maybe I'm waiting for something that will not happen ever.

Noone suffers, yes.

[Ilona]

Do you expect for an event to happen? Nothing is gonna happen.
It's been happening for a while and you are already free. You see it, only waiting for something to happen.

How does it feel to be liberated?

[Konrad]

There was no shift, no change, no anything.

I want to be sure that seeing happened.

If I'm not sure that means I didn't saw it.

[quote="Ilona]How does it feel to be liberated?[/quote]

Is this a trick question? It is messing with my mind.

[Ilona]

Is there I to be sure?
Ok, everything is the way it is. Wether you believe it or not. Where you believe that there is a you or not.

But there isn't. And never was.
So what would change here?

[Konrad]

OK I can see that nothing changes ever, that there is this original order.

But there is still this feeling of insufficiency, that there is something more, that something needs to be done

[Ilona]

Look at that feeling. Feel it. See if it's true. Is anything missing in this moment?
Really look at it. Notice thoughts. And they are also part of what is.

What is missing?

[Konrad]

That feeling creates tension, it's like a filter placed on reality, but reality stays unchanged, yes.

Is anything missing in this moment?

No.

What is missing?

Nothing, I can see the totality of this moment, but for a very short time, then I come back to for example writing this.


wow I feel like I see stuff in my room for the 1st time ever, like new, what a feeling wow
haha, very strange, unfamiliar