For Perrym Getting started

[Amara G]

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

At the moment how it feels to see this is it's a hoot! There is a sense of an 'uncoupling' like of a freight train from it's engine. So much of the reactivity is still there but it's not believed, bought into, like watching a child have a tantrum and knowing that it's not really serious. Also a bit like a pressure valve has been released, all the effort and striving to maintain and protect something that isn't there! For a few days there was uncertainty, bewilderment but last two days just happiness and lightness. A sense of relief and satisfaction the end of a cycle. There is also a simplicity and ordinariness about it nothing special really. An ahhhh like when you get the point of dream that you have been thinking about.

[perrym]

good stuff - looking forward to the next installment!

[Amara G]

3) What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?

I think that the difference is best described by saying Life or experience is not taken so personally. The degree of 'personalness' changes from moment to moment. Sometimes it is hardly there at all sometimes it's thick and furious. but mostly there is a knowing (but no knower) that there is no substantial person that everything is happening to and who is 'bad' or 'good' acting on the world. This creates a sense of relief or lightening. There is less aversion to aversion, more curiosity and in this curiosity a recognition of patterns of tightness unfurling. There is a stronger awareness of all the conditioning and beliefs recognition of the consequences of them. There is a new sense of effectiveness of practise. Even though though there is no-one marshalling corralling. More energy for opening and relaxing.

[Amara G]

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

It seems more like fine grains of dust on a pair of scales. No a dramatic rupture just the critical mass changing shifting perspective. The patterns of clarity and ignorance are still cycling but the clinging and suffering is of a different nature. There is less angst and more simply being with what is. There is a sense of some times the illusory selfing veil is thick and sometimes it is thin but it doesn't take much to coming back to a recognition of it as a veil.

I think the key was the intensity of posting every evening and being witnessed and guided. Also knowing others were steadily steaming away in the enquiry alongside me. A sense of companionship.

Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

I can see that the 'I' does not decided. It is a label. Intentions arise in thinking, but there is no 'one' having these intentions. Then actions either arise or they don't based on the myriad conditions in play.

Choosing - choosing is happening but there is no 'one' choosing. This one is tricky as there are still thoughts like 'you should' that arise with blame and its hard to accept that others are 'arislings' too.

There is no controlling, there are simply thoughts, actions, sensations. The control story line has been exhausting, I'm pleased to have seen through it!

Do 'I' make things happen? The body takes action - makes a phone call based on thinking/feeling. 'I' is not in charge of thinking and feeling. 'i' cannot make anything happen as it has no substance or form.
It is a concept something imputed it is not real.

There still is much more to really live from this new way of seeing. Life will provide everything that is necessary to help me come into alignment with reality! But neither life nor death exist in direct experience, don't know where that leaves er me!

6) Anything to add?

No just immense gratitude for this site to those that put it all together. What an amazing innovation. It's been a wonderful few months and i will miss my evening postings!

Thanks to you Perry, absolutely fantastic having you as a guide.

Much love

Amara

[perrym]

Hi Amara,

Thanks for your full and clear replies.

I don't think I have any more questions - let's get some feedback from other guides,

x
Perry

[perrym]

Hello again,

Well, looks like no more questions, so I guess we're through!

I've really enjoyed the journey, thanks for the ride :-)

x
Perry