Looking For Guidance

[patricia]

Hi Sunil,
I can't find this I that seems to be me anywhere. I was reading on the form and came to this person who said two things that brought me to a new understanding. One, was that I is a label for awareness plus experience and that's what makes us different yet the same because we share awareness. This was so big for me!!! I think it answers your question about something going on that explains being alive but isn't something we know and we just tag I to it.
The second thing this person said that really gave me such a free feeling was that there is no evidence that awareness is making any decisions nor does it control life in anyway (thoughts, actions, etc...) This is so huge!!! It means for me understanding that things just happen - no one is in control and that awareness is not a person or thing controlling life. It is simply awareness - watching it all happen!

[patricia]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, so, so much for helping me!
Very best regards,
Patricia

[kvotski]

Hi Sunil,
I can't find this I that seems to be me anywhere.

I is a label for awareness plus experience and that's what makes us different yet the same because we share awareness. This was so big for me!!! I think it answers your question about something going on that explains being alive but isn't something we know and we just tag I to it.
The second thing this person said that really gave me such a free feeling was that there is no evidence that awareness is making any decisions nor does it control life in anyway (thoughts, actions, etc...) This is so huge!!! It means for me understanding that things just happen - no one is in control and that awareness is not a person or thing controlling life. It is simply awareness - watching it all happen!

I am very happy for you Patricia.

We are not done yet. Just a little more. I is very crafty, it tries to co-opt with god and calls it many names, one of them is awareness. Can you tell me if there is any you in that awareness you speak of?

Close your eyes and directly experience your sensory inputs? Where are they? Is that sound really coming from the bird on the porch or is it at point zero? Do the same for touch, taste and smell. You are aware of these but is there you receiving it?

Give me more details of all you feel. You have had a breakthrough, let it settle and come back.

Love,

[patricia]

Hi Sunil,
There is no me in that awareness but I can see it trying to creep back in. The way the label I splits in two is very subtle. I watched the thought, "Walter (my husband) always talks too much and never listens to me." Then the feeling of annoyance came in. I caught it remembering that there is no separate me there to be annoyed. It's just a feeling. It's the remembering that is different. I am remembering that there is no me!
When I explored the senses, everything was happening in the same space. For example, the inside clock ticking and the bird song outside we're one thing. When I noticed the objects in my living room, there was one unified appearance. This included the body sensations and feelings...everything! There is only experience and the knowing of experience.
I walked to my daughters apartment, and felt like everything outside was inside me. When I calmed down a bit, I could feel some distance with a decision I was trying to make. I have been toying with the idea of leaving my job. It was really prying on my mind what I would do instead of teaching. Now, I feel like I can just wait for it to show up. I don't care so much anymore.
There is such a feeling of joy and celebration...and incredible gratitude!
Thank you again so much for the help!
Patricia

[kvotski]

Hi Sunil,
There is no me in that awareness but I can see it trying to creep back in. The way the label I splits in two is very subtle. I watched the thought, "Walter (my husband) always talks too much and never listens to me." Then the feeling of annoyance came in. I caught it remembering that there is no separate me there to be annoyed. It's just a feeling. It's the remembering that is different. I am remembering that there is no me!
When I explored the senses, everything was happening in the same space. For example, the inside clock ticking and the bird song outside we're one thing. When I noticed the objects in my living room, there was one unified appearance. This included the body sensations and feelings...everything! There is only experience and the knowing of experience.
I walked to my daughters apartment, and felt like everything outside was inside me. When I calmed down a bit, I could feel some distance with a decision I was trying to make. I have been toying with the idea of leaving my job. It was really prying on my mind what I would do instead of teaching. Now, I feel like I can just wait for it to show up. I don't care so much anymore.
There is such a feeling of joy and celebration...and incredible gratitude!
Thank you again so much for the help!
Patricia

Patrica, there is little more I can point to. You have the answers which you have been seeking. To confirm let me ask you a set of standard questions which have proven to be reflective of our true beleifs. Take your time and answer after some meditation in one or more notes.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it
works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this
dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything
happen? Give examples from your experience.

6) Anything to add?

Welcome.

[patricia]

1) There is no separate entity, self, me , or I at all in any way, shape or form.

2) The illusion of the separate self comes from identifying with thoughts and a body. I see my daughter teaching her one year old the parts of her face and labeling them with her name "Where are Charlotte's eyes?", she says. This is the beginning of the separate self. Soon after this, she will be encouraged to have her own likes, dislikes, and opinions. The truth is there is just a body, sights, sounds, sensations. Thoughts are put into her head that she is separate. There is no "one" there, or here, or anywhere. There is just everything that is happening in one seamless reality. There is simply experiencing and the knowing of experience.

3) It is so freeing and joyful to know the truth about myself! I happily let go of the "me" that was in control of "my" life. It is very easy not to turn away from the I thoughts that used to cause so much anxiety. I don't feel responsible for the way things go. there is just whatever is happening in the moment. I feel more compassion for other people's confusion, and don't feel the need to compete or have any power over them.
When I first started looking at liberationunleashed.com I had to warm up to entering the gate. There was a fear that I would loose myself. The desire to know the truth won out and I asked for help. This desire got stronger as the questions came. The focus it took and the consistency of having to write everyday gave me the motivation to really look deeply...deeper than I ever did before. What I found, (that there really is no self), kept me inspired to keep going. I discovered someone who made it through the gate on the forum. This person's investigation gave him answers that were just what I needed to hear to find a new understanding of the mind, body, and the world. It pushed me to the other side. I saw the truth of myself! Even writing about this now brings such joy and gratitude.

4) I think what pushed me over and made me look was a combination of committing to do the work, writing everyday and using the forum. When I found out the I was a label for awareness and that even awareness was not in control, that seemed to be the key to unlocking the door and entering. I was then willing to accept that there is no one controlling anything - that there was simply experience or what was happening...no me, no awareness doing anything, just what was going on and the knowing of that. Ah, the peace of having the search for the truth about myself be over!

5) I have no control over events in life. The mind still comes in trying to make me accountable for certain things. There is no one here for that to happen to.
As a teacher, I am observed by my director and other teachers once a year. Yesterday was the day I got observed. The children were wild with excitement and anxious to get out into the warm weather. The lesson was so difficult to execute. Before I saw the truth about myself, I would have latched on to the thought, " I am a bad teacher in their eyes!" and lots of uncomfortable feelings would follow. Now, I know there is no one there to feel bad and that feelings are just feelings happening. The children were out of control because that's what was happening, not because of a me or a them doing anything. There is no one there to get control of excited children. Children have a lot of energy that's how they are. There isn't even anyone who choses a lesson plan!

6) The only thing there is to add is how much peace there is because the imaginary I doesn't have to waste so much energy "doing" everything!
There is also incredible gratitude that this life is flowing and that this website became available to help the truth come this way and for you, Sunil, to guide me through it so sweetly. Thank you so much!

[kvotski]

Thank you Patricia. I will put your answers for review to get comments and confirmations to my mentors at LU.

Welcome.

[kvotski]

Dear Patricia,

I am please to report that other guides have graciously reviewed our conversation and are quite convinced you have seen the nonexistence of the gate that keeps one at bay.

Welcome and be free.

Love,