for Doreen!

[clearskye]

This "essence" that you speak of.

It is more like an observer outside of my body.

Is that from your direct experience, or is your mind jumping in? Is it separate from "you"?

with love,
Skye

[Doreba]

The essence that I speak of is from my direct experience, separate from me. It's like a "consciousness," an awareness that seems to surround me. As we have been doing this process, I have experienced a "calmness" in which everything around me seems more clear, especially when I'm outside in nature. At the same time, have I had moments of reactivity where it "seems" my mind kicks in? Yes. And eventually I experience the conscious awareness and become calm again.

By the way, I bought a bluetooth keyboard for my iPhone so it is very easy to respond to you while traveling. Obviously, I am not the driver! :)

Love & LIght,
Doreen

[clearskye]

Hi Doreen,
I want you to s l o w down your looking, and perhaps not respond so quickly. Look repeatedly, in different circumstances.

The essence that I speak of is from my direct experience, separate from me.

Really?
Has the knowing of your experience ever not been with you?

Look again.

with love,
Skye

[Doreba]

OK ... I can and will s l o w down. I want to clear something up though and get more clarity as to this process, as I am a bit confused. I didn't mean to imply by my last response that it applied to every situation I've ever been in. Regarding your question -- "Has the knowing of your experience ever not been with you?" There is no question that this knowing has not and is not with me all of the time. Throughout this process, I have been addressing what was right in front of me. In other words, I have been looking at each "now" moment because the way I understood the rules set forth in the agreement is that you do not want to hear about past experiences, "stories" of where I've been, etc. I can certainly do that and tell you all kinds of times that I have felt that my thoughts were within me, mine, etc. I also can cite times throughout my life when I've had the direct experience of being aware of my thoughts but seeing that they were outside of myself. As a songwriter, that has happened many times when the lyrics just seemed to flow through me and I didn't know where they really came from. I am happy to follow your guidance of slowing down and looking at different circumstances; I just need you to clarify if you want me to look backwards, forward or only at the present moments before me. That would be helpful. Thank you.

[clearskye]

Sorry if I confused. Only at the present moment, now and now and now. And now. Past and future are only thoughts in the present moment anyway...

With love,
Skye

[Doreba]

Thank you for clarifying. I loved your explanation of the past and future being just thoughts. So I followed your guidance of slowing down. I looked at the original question you asked, 'What is aware of my thoughts?" Immediately, my mind said, "My mind is." You also asked, "Is it contained in my body?" I looked at that and my first response was "yes" but then I observed that it is not. They are just thoughts and there is really no "container."

This observation brought up the thought of how we experience what is defined as "coincidence," where one person says something and the other person says, "I was just thinking that!" Then I got this vision of all kinds of thoughts just floating around out there in the stratosphere. Then I asked, "Am I overthinking this (mind kicking in) or is this just life happening?"

It's when I do not make a "conscious" effort to think that I am free to look and experience life as it happens. That's when the observer comes and experiences the thoughts just coming and going outside of the experience because they ARE the experience. It's about a "heightened awareness" and not about a thinker. When I really look, I see ... I experience ... what is right now in front of me, moment by moment. I will continue to do more looking today. Getting ready to go on a hike in nature now!

[clearskye]

Doreen, it's sweet how you use the quote function. Kind of in reverse! Although it doesn't matter at all.

I love that you expressed more. This way I learn more about how you experience and see, and it helps me point in a way that will be more helpful. Thank you.

'What is aware of my thoughts?" Immediately, my mind said, "My mind is."

Look again. What is aware of your mind?

Then I got this vision of all kinds of thoughts just floating around out there in the stratosphere. Then I asked, "Am I overthinking this (mind kicking in) or is this just life happening?"

Got a huge kick out of this. Look and see if it's just life happening.

Hope you had a wonderful hike. Good to spend time in nature.

Is there really an observer, or perhaps are knowing and the known the same thing?

with love,
Skye

[Doreba]

Hmm...quote function in reverse. I wasn't sure how to use it so I have just been clicking on quote and then writing my responses so I'm glad it doesn't really matter! :) I am happy to express more so you may know how to best guide me, reverse quote or not!

You asked me to look again at what is aware of my mind. I really took my time to look at this again and again ... and again. After all of that looking, I have found that there is nothing I can identify that is aware of my mind. I look and I cannot identify any type of real presence that I can name. It is just a part of life unfolding ... life happening ... a knowing ... and yes, what is just known. It is simply there.

If the mind is what we think thinks thoughts, it would just be another thought that thinks it's aware of the mind. (I was smiling as I wrote that sentence.) And thoughts just come and go, whether we are aware of them or not. They continue to happen, as does life. A breakthrough, perhaps? I await your response!

[clearskye]

I have found that there is nothing I can identify that is aware of my mind.

--and yet you are clearly aware, as you see. Awaring can't be identified because it is not a "thing." It has no objective qualities.

it would just be another thought that thinks it's aware of the mind.

Is this true? Or is there awaring going on that is prior to thought? Look and see.

And yes, thoughts come and go--that's their nature. However, since we are aware of that happening, then awaring must be present. Otherwise how do we know that they come and go?

Begin to look at feelings. Do you have any control over them?

with love,
Skye

[Doreba]

You asked the question, "Is awaring going on that is prior to thought?" My answer is "sometimes" because I am not ALWAYS aware of a thought prior to it entering my head. This happens often to me when all of a sudden I realize these thoughts are going on in my head and I'll stop and say, "Where did these thoughts come from?" Sometimes I'll play the game of "tracing back the thoughts" to see if I can find its origin.

To your question -- Do we have any control over feelings? My first response is "no." Feelings, like thoughts, also come and go. We can, however, choose to restrain them or let them flow. For example, I do not like to cry in front of people. So I have found myself "holding back tears" in public when I have really FELT like crying. I also have been able to shift my feelings once I become aware of them. For example, if I feel angry about something or toward someone, if I choose, I can change my perspective and then the anger goes away and I no longer feel angry. I move from anger to acceptance and even compassion, at times.

If I am honest with myself and allow myself to simply feel the emotion, there is no need to control. So back to the original question, I think feelings come over us in their true, raw form. What we do with them is what we may or may not choose to control.

[clearskye]

Hi Doreen,
You're plucky, and I love that.

My answer is "sometimes" because I am not ALWAYS aware of a thought prior to it entering my head. This happens often to me when all of a sudden I realize these thoughts are going on in my head and I'll stop and say, "Where did these thoughts come from?"

But what does thought occur in? Look at that.

Yes,feelings, like thoughts, just wash on through. And we have no control over their arising. So thoughts and feelings are both undependable in the sense that they come and go. What we are "looking for" is that-which-does-not-change.

with love,
Skye
(PS: normally the quote function is to copy and paste something I might have said that you want to comment on--or something you said that you want to comment on. What you copy goes between the quote brackets, and your comment is black on white, instead of the quoted black on peach.)

[Doreba]

(PS: normally the quote function is to copy and paste something I might have said that you want to comment on--or something you said that you want to comment on. What you copy goes between the quote brackets, and your comment is black on white, instead of the quoted black on peach.)

OK ... I'll go along with "normal" now. :)

You're plucky, and I love that.

Well, that's a first! I've never been referred to as plucky. In fact, I had to look up the word to be sure of what it meant. Anyway, it made me smile. I couldn't respond yesterday because I was pretty tired after traveling more than 1400 miles over the course of five days. Plus, I wanted to take my time to look at the things you asked me to.

what does thought occur in? Look at that.

It occurs in the mind. Just how it occurs is what remains a mystery. As we have already established, thoughts and feelings come and go. So I am moving onto your next instruction.

What we are "looking for" is that-which-does-not-change.

I took the time to really look at this and as I did, I wondered if I was going in the right direction with this. What I experienced as I looked more deeply into this is that the only thing that does not change is the unfolding of life itself, moment by moment. Is that too broad? Let me attempt to explain.

What I mean by this is that regardless of my thoughts and feelings and that of others, life continues to march on, to present itself in the now moment. I have especially noticed this when a sudden death of a loved one occurs. It feels surreal in the moments just after learning of the person's death. Yet, when I look around, everything — the trees, the flowers, the grass, furniture, appliances, "stuff," etc. — still are in their place. My body is still breathing and doing other things I'm not even aware of, such as digesting my food, moment by moment.

Sometimes, I, like others, perceive that "time flies." Yet, we intellectually know that each day presents 86,400 seconds according to the way we tell time and they unfold, happen, present or tick off (take your pick) NO MATTER WHAT. Therefore, life unfolding moment by moment is that-which-does-not-change. At least this is how I experience life in this existence. As I write this, that feeling I've had before comes over me ... one of me being outside of myself, outside of my body. It is fleeting, but the experience is there nonetheless. I often speak the phrase, "It is what it is." That's life. And everything that unfolds in it. It just is.

[clearskye]

Hi again,

the only thing that does not change is the unfolding of life itself, moment by moment.

You are sitting right on top of this, Doreen! Yes, life continuously unfolds. But what does that unfolding occur in?

Your fuller shares are wonderfully helpful. Thanks.
with love,
Skye

[Doreba]

You are sitting right on top of this, Doreen! Yes, life continuously unfolds. But what does that unfolding occur in?

The Universe?! ... which is all that is, yes?

[clearskye]

But the universe is manifested--it's filled with objects. Objects come and go. We're looking for what is prior (but not in time) to anything manifested--that is always, everpresent. Can you "find" that? Find is of course the wrong word, because that suggests something manifested. But look where I'm pointing. What do thoughts arise in? What do feelings arise in?

with love,
Skye