Dan, come in :)

[Ilona]

Great that you made it here.
Let's see what you brought.
desribe where you are at, please.

[Dan]

Thank you for fast reply:)

At first I didn't find any evidence of 'self'
Then I saw that thoughts and feelings arises casually
When I focus, for example like I did an hour ago in a bus.. (it was the first time I really truly focused)
it just happened and I realized that no self is needed to live the life.
This is where I am.

Thank you again, 315, for your time.

[Ilona]

Have a look now if you can find a focuser? Is there some entity behind focusing?
And good one on seeing that there is no need for self.
Was there ever a self?

[Dan]

No, looking is just happening. It is essential ability of living forms. No self or doer is needed for looking to happen.

Was there ever self? Hmm let's see

[Ilona]

?

[Dan]

?

Sorry I was busy.

Maybe self didnt even exist, maybe it does. I just know that it is not needed to live and that I cannot find it. When I look hard and try to find it, I wont, just feelings, thoughts there..

[Ilona]

yes, one can spend years trying to find it. But all efforts will be in vain.
if i told you, find an unicorn, what would you do? would you go on a quest to look for it? would you seach for it inside? maybe look around in the room.. how do you know that you can not find a unicorn in real life.

show your thinking on this.

[Dan]

Oh, you made me look on wiki to find out more about him..
..I've tried to answer you, it was such a philosophical bullshit.. and open-minded skepticism.. like "I don't know if he is real, I cannot know it"

But fuck that, nobody ever has seen him and if it was some other animal, now it would be rhino or oryx.

So now it makes sense, I does not exist, and if anybody claim it does, he would be referring to emotions or body or anything else

[Dan]

Can I ask you for something,
Don't give me a chance to distract, be rude, be straightforward, be brutal with me

[Dan]

But fuck that again, I cannot find something that does not exist... like dragon with 5 heads, where can I find it? Nowhere, i doesnt exist

[Dan]

But fuck that again, I cannot find something that does not exist... like dragon with 5 heads, where can I find it? Nowhere, i doesnt exist

IT does not exist*

[Dan]

Well I thought about how do I know that something isn't real?

I used a metaphor.. how do I know that dragon with four heads is not real? Its just in TV, it just doesn't exist :D fuck ofc it doesn't exist.

And then I asked "does 'me' exist"? Then something happened really fast, like visual question, hard to describe it...

...
..
.
what I?
.
..
...
then some subtle shift happened
and that was it.


Now I have a question, when i ask is there 'me'? Feelings still arise, is it normal?

[Ilona]

Wow. Good one!
So how does it feel to be liberated? What is it like?
:)

[Dan]

Wow. Good one!
So how does it feel to be liberated? What is it like?
:)

To be honest, it is not different, I'm still not liberated.
It is like flashes, it appears, hits, and then slowly fades.. it is not the first this happened

[Ilona]

The shift is very suble. Nothing changes. All is as it always was.
Just notice the obvious.
You can not get liberated, no. Liberation is happening. All by itself.

How is it feeling today?