*Cracks Knuckles and flex muscles* Here goes....
1) Is there a 'me' or 'you' or 'I' , at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever? Can there ever be?
No! There is no 'me' or 'you' at all. It never existed in anyway or any shape or form . There was never any 'me' nor will they ever be. The 'me' is believed to exist when the thoughts about it are believed.
Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.
Well , when we are born and are experiencing oneself as a baby , there was no illusion of seperation. However as we grow up, we identify ourself with our names, body and so and so identities - basically anything which are not. This leads to illusion of separate self which is strongly believed . Lot of effort and struggle occurs in order to preserve this separate self which is believed to be existed.
3) How does it FEEL to See? describe in detail.
Hmm .How does it feel to see. Its is freeing to see that there is no self at all. I feel liberated from this illusion of no self. Life feels easier since I no longer had to defend and bother about this 'me' stuff. Also , I can see that these are just basic , obvious stuff and isn't really spiritual. No big deal is made about this seeing stuff. It just is. Nothing more.
4) How would you describe the illusion of the separate self to somebody who was interested about it?
Ah! Interesting question. I imagine the conversation to go like this...
'Well ! Can you tell me if there is any 'me' at all. If yes, Show it to me where it is. You see, you have identified yourself as the body . But you are not the body. Body is just a body. There is no 'me' found anywhere in the body - in the arms , legs , face etc.
What about thoughts? There is no 'me' at all in it. .They are just responses to the situation you are experiencing. They also include content about past and future. But ultimately , they are just thoughts and are not impregnated with truth at all regardless of their content. There is no me in thoughts at all . They just seem to refer to a 'me' which doesn't exist.
What about feeling? They just occur and experienced in the body. Then thoughts about the feelings occur and mind made up stories which places the feelings in the story of 'me' occurs. However , they are just thoughts that interprets the feelings.Ultimately ,feelings are just feelings - nothing more.
What about mind? Mind is just a label for bunch of thoughts and thought patterns that sometimes occuring in a sequence . You are not the mind as you are not the thoughts.
Now , lets consider the process of seeing , hearing , tasting etc . In the process of seeing , the light waves hits the retina , brain interprets it and and whole process of seeing is completed. . This doesn't require a seer at all. Seeing just happenson its own . There is no 'me' seeing at all.
Similarly hearing happens on its own. There is no hearer.
Smelling happens on its own. There is no smeller.
Thinking Happens on its own . There is no thinker .
Everything is happening on its own. There is no self that is doing all this stuff. These just happen. Life is just happening on its own. There is no 'me' that is controlling this. The ' me' is ultimately just a belief , just a thought. It seems to exist only when the 'me thoughts are believed. Otherwise it never does exist.
Happy version of the conversation ends up in both of us doing chicken dance.:P
5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look? was there a specific moment when seeing happened or was it gradual? explain the transformation/recognition.
It was very gradual. No big specific moment here. Boring stuff really. However the realization that the thoughts contain no reality at all and are ultimately just thoughts did push the process of seeing. Also, dropping the false expectations of awakening helped a lot.
6) describe the difference before seeing, at the moment of seeing, and after seeing? describe the key differences.
Before seeing - I am this and that... blah blah blah.... must defend 'me' . Doing loads of stuff to uphold this sense of self. Some suffering and similar stuff. Decides to see what spirituality is about .
Moment of seeing - There was no specific moment as such as the seeing process of seeing was gradual. However the times I was seeing , I could see that there was no 'me' and it was life expressing itself in various forms. It was nice.
After seeing - There is no more attachment to the sense of self , the story of this 'sid' ,etc. There is no 'sid' . This is seen and life just continues.
) in what ways has Seeing changed 'your' life? what impact will this have on your life?
Seeing has changed my life and not really changed my life. There is no longer attachment to sense of self. Once the illusion of me i seen , it makes a difference. Your perspective changes. But otherwise , nothing really changes. Its like that movie where you expect a an awesome climax with special effects and then nothing really happens.Same old story continues. But the character of the story isn't same anymore.
8) do you have any comments about my guiding, what you feel was effective/ineffective, and something that you would have liked to have seen in it?
Nah! You were perfect , sunni! You asked all the right questions. You have been a wonderful guide and I am grateful for that. Thanks!
