Looking for guidance with direct inquiry

[erman]

Hello Rowena,

Thank you so much for everything! I really appreciate your time and guidance. It's been a great experience.

I'll definitely consider becoming a guide, but I'd like to let things settle a bit first.

Thanks also for all the resources and suggestions. See you in the FB group!

Warm regards,
erman

[erman]

Hi Rowena,

Hope you're doing well! It hasn't been long, and here I am again with another question :)

There's something I've been noticing lately that I'd like to ask you about.

When I'm simply observing what's happening through the senses and sensations, thoughts often arise like "All that exists is what's being seen or felt right now" or "There's nothing to worry about because whatever needs to happen will happen spontaneously." These are just examples, I can't remember the exact thoughts right now.

These thoughts bring a sense of relief, but I also have the feeling that they might be a subtle way of avoiding something, almost like using the understanding of no-self to reassure myself or cover up something uncomfortable.

On the other hand, they could simply be thoughts labelling the current experience. That's where my doubt comes from. I feel like there's something else underneath that I can't quite see clearly.

I'm curious how you would suggest exploring this.

Warm regards,
erman

[Noro]

Hello erman,

When I'm simply observing what's happening through the senses and sensations, thoughts often arise like "All that exists is what's being seen or felt right now" or "There's nothing to worry about because whatever needs to happen will happen spontaneously." These are just examples, I can't remember the exact thoughts right now.

The first statement here is pretty much a self-instruction to return to DE. The second statement stating: "There's nothing to worry about......." suggests that there might be some sensations lurking that have not really been acknowledged, that give rise to some narrative relating to concern or worry. Apparent self-soothing is totally normal because it is not always possible to unpack what is arising.

These thoughts bring a sense of relief, but I also have the feeling that they might be a subtle way of avoiding something, almost like using the understanding of no-self to reassure myself or cover up something uncomfortable.

Yes, the relief is there because the "system" recognizes the "truth" that is being suggested. And at the same time, there might be some avoidance of something......but you are so spot on with seeing what is happening that sometimes it is more a case of not getting involved in a narrative that is potentially uncomfortable. Either way is appropriate (Because that is what is happening!) the main thing is clarity and curiosity. Old patterns of responding or reacting are still at play, and might continue for quite a while. The freedom comes from not wishing them to go away, and for seeing them as simply thought patterns playing out to no one together with sensations that are waiting to be felt!

On the other hand, they could simply be thoughts labelling the current experience. That's where my doubt comes from. I feel like there's something else underneath that I can't quite see clearly.

A helpful thing can be to say: "Is there something here that is being missed?" or "Is there something that needs to be experienced?" We do often have narratives that overlay other narratives or beliefs. For instance some anger or frustration can be a defense pattern against feeling sadness, grief or fear.

Doubt is okay, mostly it is pointing to some kind of sensation which is then given a label "doubt." Always ask:
Is there a separate "I" or "me" or "doubter" to be found? This is no different from being certain:
Who is there that could be "certain?" And yet doubt can arise to no "one", as can certainty. Narratives will continue!!

You are always welcome to share thoughts such as these. I hope the above is helpful, do let me know.

Warm regards,
Rowena

[erman]

Hi Rowena,

Your suggestions are really helpful!

A helpful thing can be to say: "Is there something here that is being missed?" or "Is there something that needs to be experienced?" We do often have narratives that overlay other narratives or beliefs. For instance some anger or frustration can be a defense pattern against feeling sadness, grief or fear.

This is spot on! There might be a defensive pattern at play.

I think the "problem" might be the belief that everything needs to be monitored and that selfing needs to be stopped, when actually it's perfectly okay for whatever arises to simply arise and be felt.

You are always welcome to share thoughts such as these. I hope the above is helpful, do let me know.

Thank you so much, Rowena!

Warm regards,
erman

[Noro]

Hello erman,

I

think the "problem" might be the belief that everything needs to be monitored and that selfing needs to be stopped, when actually it's perfectly okay for whatever arises to simply arise and be felt.

Monitoring appears to happen… but again, what is it actually. Often some kind of contracted sensation in the head region that feels as if monitoring is happening. But is it really? Can there even be such an activity because again that implies an “I” to monitor !!

Slowly the old patterns of habit will be seen as simply what is arising, and the only “problem” is a thought saying “there’s a problem!”


Warm regards
Rowena

[erman]

Monitoring appears to happen… but again, what is it actually. Often some kind of contracted sensation in the head region that feels as if monitoring is happening. But is it really? Can there even be such an activity because again that implies an “I” to monitor !!

Thank you so much!

Warm regards,
erman