1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
Absolutely not!!
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
This is not easy to explain because this brain isnt wired to explain "what is", its language was used to build a "Me". Its a mis-interpretation by the brain that created an identity out of language that started with my mother calling me "Stephen" and the brain began to build an illusory "ME" from there, based mostly on conditioning and the environment i was exposed to, it was automatic, there wasnt any "me" there making choices or decisions or absorbing any processes, it was the processes in the body that absorbed everything. My Parents and the ppl around me encouraged more of the same.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
Actually this processes started back in 1990 when i stopped drinking, I had gone through the 12 steps, 12 traditions. 12 concepts of AA, but at that time for many years i was still very identified and just beginning to look. When i met vivien in 2021 - her pointers plus those from various speakers really started to sink in, then one day on my way to work wham!! no more book reading, etc. It feels like it was always already here.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
I was just so fed up with seeking and never finding WHAT I wanted, and something kept telling me it has to be simpler than this. Seeing that the self just isnt anywhere to be found is a bit shocking & familiar when seeing what is.
5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.
All decisions, choices, etc are made by the physical body processes, its automatic. Ive been noticing how the body just does things on its own, pouring a glasss of juice, going to the bathroom, starting my car, washing dishes, putting on my clothes, anything!! without any thought!, or if I lose my keys the bodys processes take the actions to look, patterns/habits that the body's processes have been doing for years, just like writing this response to your question posed, the brain reacts to stimulous. Its really silly to believe that a so-called entity called "me" made all of these decisions. How can an illusion drive a car?, how can an illusion type this response? how can an illusion take a shower? the illusion was that I did all that, when Actually ive never done any of that, The experience of deciding exists, but a decision maker does not... ad infinitum...
Describe intention & give examples from experience.
Intensions also arise on their own, there may be an intesion to go for a walk or ride my bike, there is no seperate self creating the intension and then acting it out.
Describe free will & give examples from experience.
Free will implies that there is someone here that can make decisions, makes choices, react to situations & take actions based on those things, sure all of these things happen in experience, but there no seperate controller doing it. How can an illusion do anything if its not there? it doesnt.. so how can there be free will if there isnt a seperate self doing anything? there is no free will, who would that free will belong to? no one.
Describe choice & give examples from experience.
Im at the store buying fresh lettuce to make salads with, I look for pull dates on the package and I inspect the lettuce on the inside to see if it is fresh, If its passes i purchase it. All choice done by seeing, touching, smell, all of the senses in volved, there wasnt any illusion claiming that "me or I" did all this, not needed.
Describe control & give examples from experience.
The hair on my head, skin being replaced on the body after a certain amount of days, the heart beating, breathing, sleeping, all of these thing are done by the body automatically everyday without anyone in control of them, so therefore there is no control by a seperate self that doesnt exist. The bodily functions can control how a car is driven through observation of the road ahead and other process making it possble to drive the car, life doesnt stop happening because it is seen there is no seperate self and never was..
What makes things happen? How does it work?
anything can come up or happen at anytime. So, I see someone drop some money on the ground unknowlingly, i walk over and pick it up and hand it to them and say hey you dropped this! thoughtfulness, honesty, integrity and the actions taken were all done by reactions and process by the body, it was automatic. Even if the thought came up to just keep the money and not say anything, its still all done by the processes of the body.
What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
I am responsible for paying my rent on time, im responsible for staying in my own lane on the freeway, behaving properly in public places, taking care of the body's hygiene, but all of those things are performed by again the body's processes, theres no controller, decision maker, choice maker, by a free will, or by someone with intention, theres no seperate entity called "me" performing any of those things and there never was or will be.
6) Anything to add?
The words "I, me, and mine" still appear in my everyday language. They remain as practical labels for this human organism. But they no longer refer to a separate existing entity. When the words "I or me" are in use now, they can serve as a reminder that no such separate self can actually be found in direct experience.
Thank you for the questions / pointers,
Stephen
