I am so much more

[maya8383]

Oh, one more thing, if you can clarify again, please...

I am again referring back to your question from the Mind Labeling practice:

Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

So, when we are lying to ourselves (mostly unconsciously) by putting the label "I am.." when describing our experience, we are actually changing the experience?

[Anastacia42]

Good. Now let's bring it together a bit.

Actual/Direct Experience - Apple

Have a look at an apple (or any fruit you like.) If you have a ‘real’ apple, you can use it for this exercise. Google for a picture of an apple.



When looking at an apple, there's color; a thought saying ‘apple’; and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple."

What is known for sure? Color is known and thoughts are known.

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

Actual experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just more thought.

Actual experience is sound, thought, color, smell, taste, sensation and the fact of thought arising, but not its content.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in actual experience.

This is what is meant by "looking in actual experience." What you know for sure, and, is always here.

Taste labeled ‘apple’ is known
Color labeled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labeled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labeled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known

However, is an apple actually known?

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

Loving,

[maya8383]

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

When I look at the content of my thoughts while looking at a pear I hear: „It's green, it is small, has a long curly stem, some black spots…“ so in thoughts content there is describing the pear the way my mind usually does it, by taking a snapshot/image of pear, and giving labels to its parts.. So, it seems like it is disecting the pear and adding labels ('green', 'small', 'long curly stem', 'black spots') on top of what's experienced directly (which is color/image).

Hmm... it is funny, I have that pear on the table in my living room all day, and whenever I'd sit there, I would look at the pear and ask myself what is there without the labels, but my mind would always jump in first and start adding those labels, like I cannot not add labels. My mind is so quick and efficient at doing that. I will need to look at the pear more…

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Hm, I understand how there cannot be a pear here in my DE, only color/image of pear, thoughts arising about pear… But I still see it as an object, I definitely need more practice on this one..

There is also shape of a pear, too, isn't there? Is shape in DE as well (seeing) or that's a thought, too?

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

No, it cannot. But as I sad in my previous answer, I understand how it cannot be found in actual experience, but in my experience it still is here… I guess that's the code I came here to crack, need more looking…

However, is an apple actually known?

It is definitely not known, it is made up in mind and from the mind, like everything else I see in the room: bed, latpop, carpet, lamp, and also – me. Maja is just a label, where am I… I know this has been said a billion times by other fellow seekers, but at this point I just cannot grasp that other than intellectually.

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

Yeah, I am having fun for sure, but it is frustrating at times. What am I overlooking over and over again??!

Thanks Stacy

[Anastacia42]

You're doing fine Maja. You just got here.

It only takes a moment, but it can take a while for you to relax enough for that moment to happen.

The Matrix put it well.

https://youtu.be/uAXtO5dMqEI

Loving

[maya8383]

It's funny that you shared this video. Thanks for reminding me of that, because everytime I'd see that on internet, I would be confused, I couldn't grasp that at all, like how do they mean - spoon does not exist, because apparently I see the spoon, everyone see's the spoon!! Now it all makes sense.

It's been turbulent days for me, emotionally, very much activated last couple of days, actually since the day you started guiding me, very funny. Busy too, especially today, but I do my best to pay attention on my direct experience, though it's not so easy, mind and emotions distract. Life happening.

[Anastacia42]

Emotions are Sensations plus a story and/or label. If you want to question those, I recommend The Work of Byron Katie

www.thework.com

Glad to help you in understanding The Matrix.

So, here is a pointer that may force you to look, not think:

ButtChair

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?


It is simple direct & nonverbal. Just LOOK.

Then write what is true.

I did only this and nothing else for 3 months and then saw. It crept up on me while I was sitting at a stoplight. Seeing often happens when we are simply relaxed and looking. I should say, it ONLY happens when we are relaxed and LOOKING. All thinking is useless. Truly.

Loving,

[maya8383]

www.thework.com

Thanks, Stacy. She has been popping up for me everywhere on the internet for the last couple of months, and now you've mentioned her too. It is calling me to look into that.

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?

I did this a couple of times during the day. I like this one more than looking at a fruit or some other object, because I can close my eyes and feel less distracted by thoughts that way, and I can center my attention for more than a couple of seconds just on that sensation where my butt meets the chair. And I immediately feel more relaxed in the body when I'm like that. The pressure in my head immediately drops and it feels super relaxing... I do not experience a dividing line between my butt and the chair at all. The line is just a label, it does not exist. I will give more direct details here when I'll practice it more..Tomorrow hopefully.

I did only this and nothing else for 3 months and then saw. It crept up on me while I was sitting at a stoplight. Seeing often happens when we are simply relaxed and looking.

Wow. Thank you for sharing. May I ask you, when doing that, were you concentrating all your attention on the sensation of your butt area touching the chair, over and over again, until it just clicked and you saw...? And also, when a thought would pop up, would you just notice it and return your attention back?

Would you do some kind of inquiry during the process, like ask, “Where is the dividing line?” or something similar? Or was just feeling into the sensations enough...?

I'm asking for those details because I have a feeling that anytime I ask a question, it distracts me from feeling into it, like I have to go into my mind to ask the inquiry, and then I lose attention and get annoyed that I have to start again, like a reset. If that makes sense.

All thinking is useless. Truly.

Short and straight to the point. Exciting.

[Anastacia42]

May I ask you, when doing that, were you concentrating all your attention on the sensation of your butt area touching the chair, over and over again, until it just clicked and you saw...? And also, when a thought would pop up, would you just notice it and return your attention back?

Pretty much. Yes.

But I wasn't practicing when I finally saw. i was just sitting there.

Would you do some kind of inquiry during the process, like ask, “Where is the dividing line?” or something similar? Or was just feeling into the sensations enough...?

No. Just LOOKING & FEELING


https://youtu.be/wyNwhK2Ur1c?si=TZwuFEst-7Hsadpu

Loving

[maya8383]

https://youtu.be/wyNwhK2Ur1c?si=TZwuFEst-7Hsadpu

Yeah, very clearly said. I always get excited when watching material like this.

Nothing much happened today, walking, sitting, a lot of doing, some buttchair sitting too... I do notice I am relaxed a lottt when I sit, close my eyes and my attention drops into body sensations, my head melts and relaxes so much, that's the body part I overused in life, as most of us did, no wonder it's grateful everytime it pauses...

I also notice, especially when in the nautre, the woods, that my vision is sharper, clearer, for example, when I look at a tree, color and the whole image is more sharp, and tree and the background feel closer to me (words fail, but close or more direct is the closest to what I see and feel). I did notice changes in my vision like this before, they are happening very gradually over the last 2-3 years, so nothing new, but seems that it intensified again last days. I don't think about it, or what that means, just notice it, and usually feel opening in my body when it happens. Hm, now that I've said that, I am not sure where exactly in my body.. I'll pay attention next time.

[Anastacia42]

We are looking for a shift in perception & you may be describing that.

Check this one & then we'll go back to ButtChair.

Palm Flipping Exercise

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.

2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience.

Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:

How is the movement controlled?

Does a thought control it?

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

How is the decision made to turn the hand over?

Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

Who or what ​ chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Loving

[maya8383]

1. How is the movement controlled?

I find silence only. I don't know how else to answer it. Also, every time I ask that question while I'm turning the palm, I feel relaxation in my head, specifically in the upper front area of my head, and somewhere in the middle at the back of my head, and then it spreads everywhere around, and then through the body. I find it extremely relaxing. Not sure if that answers the question, but that's all I've got for now. I will keep doing it.

Does a thought control it?

It feels more like an automatic movement. I sense there is a very subtle thought just before I turn the palm over, followed by heat up to the head. Of course, the mind is convincing me that the brain is in charge of it since it got the input to move the hand. But when I let go of the thoughts, it definitely feels automatic. Like it comes out of nowhere.

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

I am trying to find it. Not sure what I'm looking for. It feels like there is no controller, whatever that means. But all I feel is an opening and energy in my belly, but also lower down in the pelvic area. The more I turn the palm and focus on it, the more energy there is. Also, the front of my head is heating up simultaneously.

How is the decision made to turn the hand over?

Seems to come out of nowhere, the decision. It's frustrating for the mind because it is not happy with that answer. In parallel, my head is heating up and wanting to go in tears. They're on the verge because of all that pressure in my head. It wants to go out, whatever that is.

Who or what chose which hand — the left or right hand — for the exercise?

This I am very much certain I am not in control of. It was not the thoughts that made the decision either. Thoughts immediately say it's the brain's automatic response, since every time I start the practice, I go for the left palm, which is my dominant one.

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Mind is frustrated at this point and very loud. Head is burning!! And I distracted myself again. Mind gets very loud and looks for escape, ah. I see what is doing, and I feel like I should ignore it and just stay with that heat and opening but it comes to the certain point where it feels like I have to stop with practice.

---

I also want to share that I did the practice for the first time in the afternoon, and a similar pattern occurred. I was turning my palm for 30 minutes, and every time I'd turn it, I'd feel like a rush of heat to the head, but at the same time, that felt like an opening. Opening + heat was what it felt like.

Then, similarly, when I would inquire who is doing it, where is the controller, I could feel the heat pulsing into my head. It was a lot of energy concentrated in that upper front area, and strangely, outside circumstances forced me to stop the practice. I had to do some stuff, and I felt agitated and like my head was going to burst because of all that heat. Then I went to the woods to calm myself, and the trees and everywhere I looked were so sharp. I felt opening again, plus heating up again. It was intense, even more intense than now, doing it second time... very strange.

There was definitely a lot of energy in my body. It felt like it wanted to be released. But then I didn't know how to approach that. I was exhausted by that time and went back to my head.

If what I'm saying makes any sense at all. That was my experience. Very intriguing.

[Anastacia42]

Very goof good, Maja. No one there. Nothing controlling.

I don't know what to say about the heat. But the "opening" is probably the expansion of the truth feeling when you see there is no "self"

Can you find a separate "self" anywhere?

Loving,

[maya8383]

Can you find a separate "self" anywhere?

Nope, but I haven't seen through it either. My sight is definitely more sharp and more clear today, especially when I look at objects in nature. It is intriguing. Something definitely changed in my perception of how I see things, no doubt. This palm excercise is spot on. I'll keep doing it.

Just curious, how would you describe what happened with your mind the moment you've seen through self at that stoplight? Did thoughts stop completely, what was the feeling like when it happened?

[Anastacia42]

Thoughts continue. We just don't believe them.

From an email from Ilona

Nothing dramatic happened.

There were no fireworks.
No permanent bliss states.
No sudden personality changes.

And yet, something shifted.


Here are a few things people said afterwards:

“I’m not fighting my experience anymore. There’s more space around everything.”

“I expected something big to happen. Instead, life feels simpler and I trust myself more.”

“There’s less urgency. The seeking has softened.”


This is the kind of shift this work supports.

Ilona Cuinate


For me, things just looked brighter & more beautiful, especially nature, just like what you wrote. I was looking at the grass out my car window


Loving

[maya8383]

Thank you, Stacy, for sharing. Yes, when I found out for this forum and Ilona, it resonated so much. That was maybe 2 months ago, even less.Watching her material and reading the LU book put down my expectation that awakening is a big, wow thing. But surely I'd notice something, that is, when I experience it, I will be certain in some way that I've experienced it.

My vision remained sharper and brighter today as last two days, and I spent a lot of time in nature, observing, inquiring, noticing, walking, looking, smelling, touching, busy but calm day, I feel slightly lighter, I guess this vision change is in my foreground experience. I notice that tiny little moment which lasts a few miliseconds, less than half a second, where I look at something, and it's so clear and sharp, but then it's gone instantly. And it's like that most of the day, whatever I look at, an object, a person, anything.