Unwinding

[ashton]

Hey again Nicole,

it's been so healing working with those aspects bc they are the ones that are reacting to various things that arise.

At a fundamental level...
On the level of looking...
From the plane of seeing...

Can you see that the reacting to various things...
Are still just reactions to various things?
That those reactions are just things that arise too, all on their own?

And even deeper...
That the point of view that maybe there are certain problems or things to be solved...

That That POV just arises?
Without asking to arise either?
And the going about, using IFS as a solution...
Is just another arising?

The presentation of a problem
The presentation of choices on how to deal with it
The solution that gets picked

That all of those just simply arose/unfolded/entered your experience...
All on their own?
That not even a single one of those ever asked your permission to arise?
That they too, all just arose?

And let's not glaze over the fact either that, like you said,
Healing may also arise as another chain in the event.

And so it may!
That even the healing...
It just arises on its own too, yeah?

Maybe some of the time healing may not occur.
And so it doesn't.
And so you could say the unmet relief arose.
And even that, too...
Is just another arising, yeah?

Hope you had a great weekend!🦋

It's been one of the best I've had in quite some time.
Simple, but real.
Met with some folks that are dear to me. Bought some cool stuff. Worked on some things. Shared experiences and hobbies and stories. Was fun.
Hope yours was good too.

Ash

[beingnicole]

Hi Ash!

Thank you for the thoughtful questions and for giving me so much to sit with! I had a great weekend and week as well.... I'm glad you got to spend some quality time with folks who are dear to you. :)

On reflecting on your pointers about IFS, healing, and problems being "

just another arising."

From the absolute plane of seeing, yes, I completely agree. The trauma, the parts, the healing process, and the problem-solving are all ultimately chains of events arising and falling in the Big Sky.

However, I have learned through my own journey that relying only on that absolute view can quickly turn into spiritual bypassing. If I simply brush past triggers or traumatized parts by labeling them as "

just an arising,

" I am essentially using non-dual logic to avoid doing the deep, necessary shadow work. Shadow work along with inquiry or somatics are all other ways to deepen awakening/awareness. So many ways to wake up!

The way I experience deeper awakening is that it doesn't dismiss our humanness...it embraces it. While it is fundamentally true that these parts and reactions are empty of inherent self there is greater levels of awareness in witnessing and integrating this. If I just say "this is a chain of events" and ignore beliefs, unmet needs, expectations, assumptions, etc, I am essentially bypassing the repressed shadow under the guise of spirituality.

So yes, the healing is an arising, and the IFS work is an arising! But those are necessary arisings for me right now to clear the psychological conditioning that blocks the true embodiment of this realization....like fetter work. The dance for me is holding both at the same time: resting in the absolute knowing that none of it is "me," while remaining fiercely devoted to the relative work of healing the human vehicle only when it arises.

I’d love to hear how you balance the absolute view with the ongoing integration of human conditioning and shadow work.

Cheers!
Nicole ✨

[ashton]

Hi Nicole,

However, I have learned through my own journey that relying only on that absolute view can quickly turn into spiritual bypassing. If I simply brush past triggers or traumatized parts by labeling them as "
just an arising,
" I am essentially using non-dual logic to avoid doing the deep, necessary shadow work.

Yes yes yes!

What I was trying to say is...
The way I view bypassing is:
1. Someone may notice a trigger as a trigger
2. Choice arises of whether or not to do something about it
3. That gets seen
4. Possible thought arises of "by having seen this, I shouldn't do anything about it?" Or something of that moniker
5. Gets bought into

I'm glad you are telling me the exact opposite, because it shows that you are truly living and not bypassing.

Basically, with the above chain, it kind of breaks the chain of events because there is an unquestioned buying into of something, rather than seeing that a buying into something occurred and that it is fine, and that choice and decision can still occur, and "letting" it do its thing, however it arises.

You are seeing exactly on that level, and that is exactly right! (I wasn't dissing healing or wanting to heal)

The way I experience deeper awakening is that it doesn't dismiss our humanness...it embraces it.

Exactly right

If I just say "this is a chain of events" and ignore beliefs, unmet needs, expectations, assumptions, etc, I am essentially bypassing the repressed shadow under the guise of spirituality.

YES!!!

The dance for me is holding both at the same time: resting in the absolute knowing that none of it is "me," while remaining fiercely devoted to the relative work of healing the human vehicle only when it arises.

:)

I’d love to hear how you balance the absolute view with the ongoing integration of human conditioning and shadow work.

I'm gonna be honest, awakening changed my life completely in a very ass backwards way than I reckon it did for most others.

I used to be so very into it all... considered the monastic life... disciplines, celibacy, all sorts of stuff... morality... all of it.

Awakening for me happened and it's opened me up to be who I always was but never allowed myself to be. I've been connecting and meeting friends. Hanging out with people for the first time ever. Meeting women, which for me was never a thing. Flirting. All if and when I want to. I can tell a pull and what type of pull it is when it is there. I act when I want to. Am fine being quiet when I don't want to add anything. It's so freeing. I used to try dieting to the 9. I don't care like I used to... I just live my life. I do what I want. Like you, but different. All in all it's just made it to where it's kind of shifted my priorities. I think a lot to do with because I've come to recognize that I don't have to prune behaviors. I don't have to DO anything. I used to think "oh I should do x to try and get y" and I'd buy into it all the time. Now it's simple. If I want y I go for y.

Less steps. More easy living. More true living. More authentic. I like it. I love it. It just happened this way for me.

I think a shift has taken place in you. It seems quite apparent. You stand your ground. You're firm in what you're doing. Because that's what there is, and you see it.

I'm gonna ask the final questions now because I think that's all there's left to do. I'm quite glad you're experiencing the way you are, yeah just seems quite apparent at this point lol ☺️

Let’s run through these questions and see if there’s anywhere that needs further investigation.
Be relaxed. Don't answer from thought. Describe experience..

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

2) Describe how the illusion of an independent, self came into being by giving examples from actual experience.
Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion.

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?

4) Can you remember any specific inquiry (or maybe looking for your case) that resulted in an epiphany? ..a before and after seeing the actuality of the Self. Was there a point when you ‘got it’?

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how these things happen and how they work.

b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

6) Anything to add?

-ash