Wanting to wakeup feels like its what's stopping awakening

[mayafreedom]

Butt-chair, expanded... With eyes closed: felt sensations where body meets chair (pressure, tension, heat). Felt sensations "inside" body (waves, pulses, tingling, clenching). Boundary with chair can't be found. Boundary between body and not-body can't be found.

[Anastacia42]

Good

[mayafreedom]

Tension, pressure, waves, heat, space, light, thought, grumbling, roughness, releasing, no boundary.

[Anastacia42]

Good.

How does it FEEL to see no boundary?

Loving,

[mayafreedom]

How does it FEEL to see no boundary?

Muscles soft, tingly, tears in eyes, breath slows.

[Anastacia42]

Those are "truth tears."

[mayafreedom]

I get those a lot.

Last night I watched Interstellar again and my brain kept saying how can a person simultaneously be in 2+ places in time at once? And then it dawned on me of course, they aren't. It's the assumption of a unified-yet-separate self not just in space but in time that is the trickery. Just thoughts, I know, but profound.

[Anastacia42]

Sure.

You can do this one, if you like. Any one of these pointers can help you wake up.


Time Pointer

There is a general assumption that there is linear time that started (if started at all) somewhere very far in the past and advances to the distant future. The present moment (now) is considered to be a very small fragment of time, or an event that is moving forward on a linear line, coming from the past and advancing to the future.

But is there an experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?

Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?

Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

How long does the ‘now’ last?

Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?

What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or thoughts about ‘time’?

And please continue ButtChair.

Loving

[mayafreedom]

The answers here feel very simple. Past and future only "exist" in thoughts. The only time that is experienced is now. Awareness is not an exact point, it has some diffusion but it's all now. There's no speed that it moves and it doesn't "become" anything. It just is. I don't know how else to say it.

Waves. Sound of silence. Tingling. Sparkly vision. Thoughts. Pressure. Heat.

There's both the direct experience and there is the thoughts. I feel them localized actually this is something really specific I've observed. I feel the spaciousness all over but more on the left side of the head. I hear the thoughts on the right side. It's curious that they are both there. And the sounds can come anywhere and the body sense too. I don't know if how I'm describing this makes sense.

[Anastacia42]

Please quote each question and answer and Your answer underneath.

From my introduction post:

Please answer questions individually, remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

Loving,

[mayafreedom]

But is there an experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?

Not in direct experience. There is "past" in memory (thought) only.

Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?

No. Only this moment.

Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

No, only in thought/reconstruction.

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

It's not. I can't find a speed to it. The perception of fast/slow seems more depend on the body.

Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

No

How long does the ‘now’ last?

There's no "lasting" but it feels big?

Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?

It doesn't start or end, that I can perceive.

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?

That doesn't make sense. It's always now. Now is just now.

What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

Thoughts that have formed in some way that I don't know how to "make" happen, and then are retrieved either with prompting (e.g. what was it like when I was 10?), or mostly just spontaneously (e.g. replaying something someone just said during a conversation).

So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or thoughts about ‘time’?

Thoughts only.

[Anastacia42]

Yes. Excellent.

Carry on.

Loving,

[mayafreedom]

ButtChair: Tingling, relaxed, softneess, warmth, pressure, pulsing. No boundary. focusing on the "boundary," perception gets bigger.
---

Two days ago I watched Ilona guiding folks (I was trying to understand "direct pointing" as done here on LU, better) and she asked someone to [paraphrased], "look at the perceiver."

I looked for/at "the perceiver" and the sensation was like a boomerang--I tried to look "inside" (like trying to find it in the head area) but couldn't find anything, and immediately the attention moved to visual perception. The immediate thought was that the perceiver is the perceived. Arises with what's perceived. I can see the same thing right now, with attention on it.

Even the perception of "the perception space" with eyes closed has qualities to it--tinglying, bubbly, open, light moving, darkness.

[Anastacia42]

perceiver is the perceived

True.

Can you say 100% that there is no separate "self?"

Loving

[mayafreedom]

Can you say 100% that there is no separate "self?"

No, not 100%.