Investigation

Welcome to the main forum. When you are ready to start a conversation, register and once your application is processed a guide will come to talk to you.
This is one-on-one style forum, one thread per green member.
User avatar
Pantikol
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2026 6:18 am

Re: Investigation

Postby Pantikol » Wed Apr 29, 2026 6:27 pm

Right, thank you Becca, let's continue. I try not to mix investigation with thinking.
Who will it happen to if there is only life?
Now I'm answering my own question? :)

The roar of the sea (sound) is eg. there even when I am not there (there isn’t a self). So it has nothing to do with the separate self.

I have been like this all day today. Relax, let life manifest, including the labeling thoughts. Whatever it may be. Be careful not to create an observer, which would be just another thought and affect the other thought, which would create a story.

I assume that everything is fine now, because that is closer to the truth than believing in a separate self.

WHO wants there to be a formula? WHAT arises experientially when there is none? WHY do you need to know? Look at that urge, the tension. The discomfort with not knowing… what do you find?

Security, control, protection, habit, the will to make it so. To learn, to master.

Who? What does this feeling cover, who does it protect? I don't know, it just comes up.

I just do what comes to mind in the moment. I don't connect it to anything else. It just happens mechanically. That's it.

Judgment arises. Resistance. Desire to change... Where is the separate self? Nowhere, so what? There is no change. Why should there be?

User avatar
graceabounds
Posts: 1658
Joined: Wed May 15, 2024 5:49 am

Re: Investigation

Postby graceabounds » Fri May 01, 2026 1:27 pm

Hello,

Site was down yesterday. Perhaps you saw my reply before that. If not here are some queries:

Is there someone in charge of letting life manifest? Does it need a middleman to allow it to do so?

Is there an expectation that something should change?

Tell me more about the resistance.
What is it? Where is it? How is it known?

Is the separate self thought to be nowhere or directly experienced to have never been present at all?
“Your comfort zone is not the best place for your spiritual awakening….
unfortunately…
(sorry about that.)”

- Eckhart Tolle

User avatar
Pantikol
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2026 6:18 am

Re: Investigation

Postby Pantikol » Sat May 02, 2026 6:59 pm

Hello, I saved your last response, but I couldn't log in to the site.
Is there someone in charge of letting life manifest? Does it need a middleman to allow it to do so?
No. I have tested it many times. Yet during the day, as if I would forget about it and have self-awareness.
Is there an expectation that something should change?
Yes, the search is over, a change of perspective. I felt close to myself... But now the old pattern has returned.

Reading the things on this page, the "motivation" started again, it clicked again that everything happens by itself. But in vain I examine it again. It's not new anymore.

Why should it be, this has always been the truth? If the change happens again, I still forget during the day and everything remains the same. It's like I fell asleep a few times, but I can't do it every day. And no one can show me this click.

I kept telling myself "This moment is it", but it didn't help either. In vain I watch how thoughts, feelings, body sensations and movement come by themselves, something still pulls me back. What and who? I don't know. Is this also a thought? Who thinks this? Nobody. This thought also arises... Why does it bother me? Who does it bother? I don't know, maybe it's a habit. So is there another thought about a habit (a recurring thought)? Maybe. I see it, but I just go around and around, nothing changes. I have to examine myself to get it to click again, and I have to stay in it as often as possible. Otherwise it's just a play on words... 'I don't know' means I don't want to examine it and I believe it...

Tell me more about resistance. What is it? Where is it? How can it be recognized?
It's the same, I want something other than what I have and control. But no matter how much I try to look for it, I can't find it, it's just a thought, a habit. As if everything is a mass that we can judge, analyze, but nothing changes. These are only ABOUT it and not what we analyze. I don't even break down food into its components in my mind when I eat...


I understand the methodology. We examine everything honestly, with real experience. To know for sure that there is no self. That is what the questions are aimed at.


Do you think of the separate self as being nowhere, or do you directly experience that it was never present?
It's nowhere.

’What is it? Where is it? How can it be recognized?’

Existence itself? Continuous. I am. And this is mixed with the thought that I am doing this or that. If I shift the focus (I think I am not doing this either), then it becomes more neutral, but we have to be careful not to make it a watcher (a made-up self-consciousness).

Solution: There are 2 ways. Examination or staying in it. I have already examined it. During the day, while working, staying in it is the key. In the description from the site I read: removing “my-ificaton” labels (the thought arises afterwards, taking possession of the events).

I'm starting to feel nauseous from everything again, I don't want to exercise, it only strengthens me!!!!!!

User avatar
graceabounds
Posts: 1658
Joined: Wed May 15, 2024 5:49 am

Re: Investigation

Postby graceabounds » Sun May 03, 2026 3:38 pm

The seeking is the illusion that anything other than this is possible.
Telling your Self this moment is it is still trying to get to something else, other than this.

There is no state to maintain, because that reincarnates the illusion of the one who could do that doing.

What does the thought “I lost it” refer to in direct experience right now?
What is pulling you ‘back’? Is there an actual force?

Next time resistance appears

1. Stop.

2. Feel the body.
Where is it exactly? Chest? stomach? throat?

3. Look under the word “resistance”
What is it without the label? Pressure? heat? movement? contraction?

4. Look directly
Does that sensation itself say “I need control” “I want something else” etc
Or do those come as separate thoughts?

User avatar
Pantikol
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2026 6:18 am

Re: Investigation

Postby Pantikol » Mon May 04, 2026 5:41 pm

Hi! Everything is clear, reality exists and a fantasy thought or feeling wants to make you believe that it changes, covers this. As soon as it slips away, I will examine it again, look at it. I ask for time, I don't want to write just because a day has passed. I will practice and apply. Thank you.

User avatar
graceabounds
Posts: 1658
Joined: Wed May 15, 2024 5:49 am

Re: Investigation

Postby graceabounds » Tue May 05, 2026 3:27 am

Of course, this is important to see so take whatever time it takes… :)
“Your comfort zone is not the best place for your spiritual awakening….
unfortunately…
(sorry about that.)”

- Eckhart Tolle

User avatar
Pantikol
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2026 6:18 am

Re: Investigation

Postby Pantikol » Sat May 09, 2026 5:57 pm

Hi again,
... Feel the body. Where is it exactly? Chest? stomach? throat? Look under the word “resistance” What is it without the label? Pressure? heat? movement? contraction? Look directly
Does that sensation itself say “I need control” “I want something else” etc Or do those come as separate thoughts?

Boredom has set in. I've known it for a very long time. There are no physical symptoms. Who is observing it? I don't know. Without labeling it, it's just an experience? Yes, but it causes suffering. Is that what causes it, or how I look at it? It's because it's like a constant pain (and I recognize this out of habit, no matter how much I examine it). A big stone wall, no matter how I try, it stays.

The feeling is bad, it hurts, it doesn't say anything. Meanwhile, thoughts arise that I want something different, I want to be happy (I could think of things I've experienced in the past, to repeat them...) What should I do with it? I understand that it's bullshit, what you wrote is great, I agree, but it still arises.

During the day, it often returns that I don't have „me”. Change: things just happen without an owner. I feel like this needs to be deepened, I don't see the point of investigating, it's just „overthinking” (I've already seen that „me” don't exist…). Now I need to put it into practice in life situations...

Once while walking, looking at nature from a larger perspective, forgetting the story, the universe is there. Only the focus is different. No need to get involved in the details? A kind of constancy...

Nothing happened... There is no great fire burning within now. I don't really care about anything.:)

User avatar
graceabounds
Posts: 1658
Joined: Wed May 15, 2024 5:49 am

Re: Investigation

Postby graceabounds » Sun May 10, 2026 4:06 pm

You are trying to change what is being experienced in the body, as sensations, as if it can be changed. That is the suffering.
The feeling is bad, it hurts, it doesn't say anything.
Underneath the label ‘bad’ what is it exactly? Specifically.

Where does it arise? Don’t give me philosophy or conclusions. Just be with it and describe it, the direct observations only.

There are no physical symptoms
I don’t buy it. What happens in the body with ‘pain’ or is all this ‘pain’ you are describing that ‘hurts’ psychological?
“Your comfort zone is not the best place for your spiritual awakening….
unfortunately…
(sorry about that.)”

- Eckhart Tolle

User avatar
Pantikol
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2026 6:18 am

Re: Investigation

Postby Pantikol » Mon May 11, 2026 3:48 pm

You are trying to change what is being experienced in the body, as sensations, as if it can be changed. That is the suffering.

I agree, but if e.g. I know I'm weak, but that doesn't make me strong (understanding is not enough: I didn't find me, but still...)

Underneath the label ‘bad’ what is it exactly? Specifically… Where does it arise? Don’t give me philosophy or conclusions. Just be with it and describe it, the direct observations only.
I can't define its location or its boundaries. It comes and goes by itself. I'm trying to describe the feeling (boredom) to you, and I see that it's the same as a thought. It just stays there for a longer period of time compared to a thought. What's the difference between a thought and a feeling? I think every thought is accompanied by a feeling, only more subtle. I don't know where and when a feeling or mood comes from or when and where it goes. My attention and resistance amplify it, including my examination. That's why I prefer to leave it.


It helps a little if I say, there is no me, this comes and goes, it doesn't belong to me, it's just an experience, just like sensory experiences do.

Yes, I want to change it because it hurts and I'm not a masochist, and examining it doesn't bring a new perspective. Otherwise, what would be the point of doing this? I cannot send you the feeling by email, only allude to it using concepts.

„There are no physical symptoms” - I don’t buy it. What happens in the body with ‘pain’ or is all this ‘pain’ you are describing that ‘hurts’ psychological?
As I wrote about boredom, there are NO physical symptoms, but rather psychological pain. Don't confuse it with, for example, anger, which can have clear physical symptoms.

User avatar
graceabounds
Posts: 1658
Joined: Wed May 15, 2024 5:49 am

Re: Investigation

Postby graceabounds » Tue May 12, 2026 12:43 pm

I'm trying to describe the feeling (boredom) to you, and I see that it's the same as a thought. It just stays there for a longer period of time compared to a thought. What's
Let’s look at ‘time’.

There is a general assumption that there is linear time that started (if started at all) somewhere very far in the past and advances to the distant future. The present moment (now) is considered to be a very small fragment of time, or an event that is moving forward on a linear line, coming from the past and advancing to the future.

But is there an experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?
Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?
Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?
Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?
How long does the ‘now’ last?
Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?
When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?
What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or only thoughts about ‘time’?

What's the difference between a thought and a feeling? I think every thought is accompanied by a feeling, only more subtle.
There’s a simple way we can investigate this directly:

Emotion (or feeling) = Sensation + Thought-story

This is something to test in immediate experience.

For example you notice that anger usually appears as:

* bodily sensations
* plus thoughts ABOUT those sensations or the situation

The thoughts might be:
“This is bad.”
“This won’t end.”
“Something is wrong.”
“I need this to change.”

Meanwhile there are sensations… pressure, heaviness, contraction, restlessness, dullness, agitation, numbness, whatever.

What I was pointing to is if you look very closely at the sensations themselves, without the narrative, they often don’t actually contain the meaning the thoughts assign to them.

And if you examine the thoughts carefully, you may notice they are interpretations, predictions, memories, resistance and not necessarily truth.

When the thought-story and the raw sensations are seen separately, the “solid reality” of the emotion can start to loosen. (Not because ‘you’ controlled it, just that it is seen through)

Sometimes the emotion dissipates quickly. Or it doesn’t.
The important part is actually not making the emotion disappear. This comes later on in the awakening process.

For now seeing more clearly what is actually happening, instead of automatically collapsing sensation + thought into “This is me suffering.”

So when boredom is present, take another look. Is breathing the same, posture, eyes, guy, jaw, sense of boundary, energy etc all the same as before?
“Your comfort zone is not the best place for your spiritual awakening….
unfortunately…
(sorry about that.)”

- Eckhart Tolle


Return to “THE GATE”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Amazon [Bot], Majestic-12 [Bot] and 142 guests