Only this

[Elad]

Also, moments where a thought with content you call doubt emerges, where does it come from? what does it refer to? does it come from a self? does it refer to a self? or is it as much spontaneous selfless nature as sounds and sights?

[Elad]

Hey Kathy, how are things moving?

[Baremind255]

Dear Elad,
I am sorry for not replying for a very long time.
I didn't log in here and I didn't get an email when you checked on me.
I recently moved and there was a lot to do in connection with that, but aside from that, I have a feeling of stuckness.
I haven't had any new insights and as I am writing this I realize that this is just a thought.
Do I need to have an insight?
Can anything be different than this here and now?!
No, but thoughts seem to apply that it can.
The issue is, that when I am communicating with you, focusing on this, the clarity comes as I am writing, and then here we go again a thought that says, but what about...xyz?
There are no ifs and buts...
The more I write the more paradoxical it becomes, because I get into these contradictions.
Here we go again confusion is happening...

[Elad]

Kathy hi! I have been on retreat, just returned. Sounds to me like it would help to return to be in touch with me daily. As often as possible both during other activity, and sitting down quietly without distraction particularly for that, look:

Whatever is going on, is there a self that makes it, is it a self or the activity of a self that is found? Or is EVERYTHING that is taken as self clearly just activity habits and sensations, happening without a self?

I would recommend getting into this with a renewed commitment to engagement during the day and in messages here daily. You are close...

[Baremind255]

Hi Elad,
Nice to hear back from you. I agree with your suggestion.
The issue is that I get very easily distracted, caught in thought loops.
For some reason, there is always an evaluation going on.
I feel like I am constantly in this labeling business, like this is a sensation, this is a thought.... etc.
Isn't perceiving itself also a thought?
If I don't label a tingling sensation in my feet, would I even perceive that?
I know, that this is not the point. The point is that there is no "I" in it.

[Elad]

Hi again Kathy,

Habits are as habits are. As for the story about the you it refers to, does that exist?

What is this imagined you?

Return to the matter of self or no self every time you remember. Don't let yourself be distracted by other questions. Don't let yourself be distracted by if's and but's. If a sense of absolute clarity is not there return to looking.

Write me again tomorrow.

[Baremind255]

Hi Elad,

A few days have already passed since our last conversation.
I haven't had anything new to report.
What I have been asking most of the time during the day is: " To whom do these thoughts occur?"
I haven't found any answer outside of thought with this.
Do you have any other suggestions for questions or inquiries I could look into during the day?
I have found that just sitting for a period of time and then going about my business is not enough.
The mind constantly reaffies this non-existent self.
There needs to be an inquiry into each happening/ event throughout the day.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you very much!🙏

[Elad]

No no. This is not about "not having thoughts of self". It is about seeing clear beyond doubt that these thoughts are only thoughts.....

A little like this:


"When "inquiring" (paying attention) the difference is seen between dreaming in the night and being awake, but when dreaming happens at night, this is often not the case"

"When lost in the action of a movie, there is a not being aware that the movie is a movie, but when there is "inquiring" (paying attention) to the nature of the movie, it is seen that this is a movie".

This is how it is here.

Would that make it honest and clrear to say "it is not realized here that movie and dreams is not awake reality, I truly still believe that movies and nightly dreams are awake reality"?

Or, would it be more honest and clear to say: "lostness in movies happen, recognition that movies are movies happen, both are not mine, not me, not a separate self"?


--------

Please watch the following video with one of LU's founders interacting with this person...

Notice how he has these endless elaborate descriptions of what is going on with him. Notice how these endless "describing" and "telling what he knows" and "telling how it is" come instead of PAYING ATTENTION NOW to what is and what isn't NOW, and being clear about it. Notice how all that also just happens like a weather system of frustration, resistance and intellectualization (with no separate self in it or owning it or it referring to).

Realization will never happen in the story you tell about yourself. Realization is seeing clearly that whatever story it is, it is no more then a story, without any real self in it.

Watch:

https://youtu.be/P30P5X3RrmA?si=o5UlbAEvohEcuX2Z