Hello Rali
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
Like Luke Skywalker, it has a place in the imagination, but not outside of that and it never did.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
It is the thought and sense of certainty that I am a body that sees and thinks etc. "When it starts" could refer to age and I have no answer to that. If "when it starts" refers to the exact moment the thought of self arises these days then I also have no answer.
As to how it works, once the illusion of self appears then a follow-up thought about the body being wrong in some way is often close behind and less than stellar sensations can arise leading to thought about how to feel better and on it goes.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
Sometimes it feels weird, other times liberating. The difference now versus a couple months ago is that the sense of certainty about being a body is fleeting when that thought appears. This understanding that I'm not a self is not constant yet.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
One of the questions that stands out is asking if the sensation of the body says "I am you?" I found that amusing and insightful. Also asking me in multiple ways if some idea of a self is "just thoughts." At some point it became obvious that even routine or subtle thoughts are "just thoughts."
5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.
Decision is a thought taking credit for an action that would have happened anyway. Looking at different things outside my window can happen without a "decider" or with one. Typing this very sentence doesn't require anybody claiming to be in charge of it.
Describe intention & give examples from experience.
Intension is a thought about wanting to do something. I intend to have a protein smoothie in about an hour. I guess what you're getting at here is that an intension can get someone to think that he or she decided to do something as opposed to that thing happening without a decision being necessary.
Describe free will & give examples from experience.
The aforementioned protein smoothie will get made and consumed or it won't - no free will involved. Answering these questions is also taking place out of habit with no free will needed.
Describe choice & give examples from experience.
Choice is the thought that a self will use free will to pick one thing over another. Just yesterday, I planned on hiking a certain trail but ended up veering to the left and hiking a different one and I'm not sure why.
Describe control & give examples from experience.
I'm detecting a common theme here. Control is the thought of free will. If the thought appears that I'm in control with no counter thought then I seem to be in control. I just blinked my eyes several times rapidly and the thought appeared that I did that. Go figure.
What makes things happen? How does it work?
Without resorting to unreliable thought, I have no idea. Resorting to unreliable thought, I still wouldn't know for sure.
What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
I don't find anything. Sleep happens, digestion happens, blinking happens, and thoughts happen too. I don't see where I cause any of that.
6) Anything to add?
For now, just one question: does Rali rhyme with Dolly?
Glen
