realizing selflessness

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

WAY too much thinking.

Just LOOK.

https://youtu.be/wyNwhK2Ur1c?si=TZwuFEst-7Hsadpu

Loving

[whoknows]

At what?

[whoknows]

Oh, oops. Take two, including quote:

Just LOOK.

At what?

[whoknows]

I just went back to the ButtChair directions to try again and am pasting them here so that I'll have them handy:

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?

And I noticed that in a follow-up, you said this:

LOOK. This means LOOK with your eyes.

I just thought I should make sure: When you said "with your eyes," I assume you didn't actually mean literally to use the sense of vision but just to use direct experience, right?

(I feel like I'm being a bit of a troublesome or dense directee. If so, sorry about that.)

[whoknows]

I got a notification ten minutes ago but don't see a new post. Is the site glitching again?

[Anastacia42]

The sense vif vision IS direct experience.

Relax. Keep LOOKING.

Report here.

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

The sense of vision IS direct experience.

Relax. Keep LOOKING.

Report here.

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

The sense of vision IS direct experience.

Relax. Keep LOOKING.

Report here.

Loving,

[whoknows]

The sense of vision IS direct experience.

Yes, of course, but for ButtChair, vision is pretty much irrelevant, yes? I just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing some odd and interesting aspect of this exercise. (Incidentally, in case this is helpful for making sense of how I think and communicate, I'm on the autism spectrum — which I only just figured out definitively a few years ago.)

OK, so starting fresh on ButtChair and attending carefully to the direct experience of touch: When I try to put my attention on the surface of my skin, which seems like the obvious candidate to be the "clear[-ish] dividing line," I have an oddly hard time feeling like I have a definite sense of the surface of the skin of my butt pressed against my clothing (which is pressed against what I'm sitting on). I find this odd because it seems easier to feel the surface of the skin of my arms against the cool air of the room.

When I wiggle around a little, so that there are changing sensations on my butt, it seems more like I can feel the surface of my skin. But still, if I try not overlay any visual image of my body (which I find difficult, maybe impossible), or at least try to ignore that, and stick with the sense of touch, it seems weirdly amorphous, maybe because of the pressure?

I assume that the "right" answer is that I can't feel a clear dividing line, but I'm not yet quite feeling confident of that based on my own direct experience.

That's where I am with this right now. Will try again tomorrow, if you think I should keep doing this.

[Anastacia42]

assume that the "right" answer is that I can't feel a clear dividing line, but I'm not yet quite feeling confident of that based on my own direct experience.

That's where I am with this right now. Will try again tomorrow, if you think I should keep doing this.

This is not about right answers.

This is a meditation on that sense of no dividing line.

Yes, keep looking, as I did for 3 months. Relax into it.

Loving,

[whoknows]

I tried ButtChair one more time yesterday, during the meditation time that my spouse and I usually have together late at night. My mind was rather busy, but I kept coming back to mainly just feeling the sensations of my butt on the couch and not worrying too much this time around about the "dividing line" part. That was before I got your comment about how "this is a meditation on that sense of no dividing line." So I guess I'll put more focus on that again the next time I do this.

On a different subject: I was browsing old threads of yours from the archives yesterday, and you'd encouraged BLovingJoy to “try this repeatedly”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEv7UF8evQ4. That’s Angelo DiLullo’s video “Having Trouble With Self-Inquiry? Try This,” which is one I bookmarked several weeks ago and have returned to multiple times. You also suggested that beingbraden “try some of Angelo DiLullo’s meditation guidance” and sent him the same link. Is there a reason that you think this sort of looking isn’t helpful for me at this point? Or did I just muddle the issue by mentioning (in one of the posts that vanished) the question “Who am I?” which maybe is particularly associated with teachers who have a somewhat different aim than realization of no-self (or at least talk about it differently)?

[Anastacia42]

Well, we don't use "who am I?" here, but otherwise, sure. Angelo is great. The aim is the same. Use whatever works, but I don't recommend bouncing around. That's a result of too much thinking & impatience.

We have no control over awakening (or anything at all). ButtChair is enough to set up the conditions. It took me 3 months of only ButtChair.

https://liberationunleashed.com./resour ... mplified/

There are some support meetings that might help:

Vince Shubert runs a few. Write to vinceschubert@gmail.com for the link & schedule.

Todd & Pernille Lent Damore

Yes, we still have a monthly Inquiry Group that's free, and that they are welcome to join. We also have our Discord community which is free too.

Write to: unfetteredmindfulness@gmail.com

Permille's videos on Doubt are best good.

https://youtu.be/a_8N331jpA4?si=wHE8KmhO7n9uwLPp

Ilona usually offers a meeting once a month.

Write admin@ilonaciunaite.com for that link & schedule
Angelo Dillulo's recordings on You Tube are also excellent.

I can offer these recorded guiding for further practice:

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ksba3zhi9uuz ... hsk1a?dl=0

Just keep me posted on what you're doing & your responses.

Loving,

[whoknows]

I'm glad to hear that you think Angelo's approach can fit with what we're doing at LU. That's how it seemed to me. And he's my recent favorite YouTube teacher.

Thank you for all the resources. I'd run across Pernille and Todd Damore's videos and looked at a few, mainly on the 1st fetter, but I appreciate your recommendation of the videos on the 2nd fetter. I'll take a look. Not sure about the groups, but I might consider that at some point.

What I plan to mainly do for now is ButtChair and Angelo-style self-inquiry.

OK, here goes 5 minutes of ButtChair, sitting on my uncomfortable wooden chair at Starbucks . . .

My report: I was mostly aware of the feel of my sit bones pressing uncomfortably into the wooden chair and thoughts related to that. Rearranged several times and ended up with more of the weight on my thighs, which was better. Felt that. Paid little attention specifically to the "dividing line" because my attention was mostly captured by all the feelings and thoughts related to discomfort.

[Anastacia42]

Okay. It is noticing the one ess, the lack of separation that matters.

Maybe practice in a more comfortable chair?

Loving

[Anastacia42]

Okay. It is noticing the oneness, the lack of separation that matters.

Maybe practice in a more comfortable chair?

Loving