I’m looking for a guide (again)

[Anastacia42]

That's great. You're doing a great job keeping up.

I'll watch for your answers.

Loving,

[LostSoul]

Hi Stacy,

I have a question: what is the name of the teacher in the “I am Complete” meditation?

Sincerely,

[Anastacia42]

Sorry. I promised not to tell. He stopped doing that years ago & went into a different business.

[LostSoul]

His meditations are simple and good and he is so funny. Thank you Stacy for sharing these gems

[Anastacia42]

Yes. He's done stand- up comedy. I was there.

[LostSoul]

Hi Stacy,

And try this:

Observing Thoughts

Here is a thought exercise. Sit quietly for about 30 minutes and notice the arising thoughts.

Just let them appear as they appear. Try your best to COMPLETELY ignore what they are saying and just notice how they appear without you doing anything at all.

Where are they coming from and going to?

They are coming from an empty space inside and around my head then disappear

Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?

No. They appeared by themselves.

Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment instead?

I have no control over them and I can’t choose.

Can you predict your next thought?

If I watched that empty space and try to predict what comes next, what appears as a prediction is a thought that pops up without me choosing it.

Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?

I don’t know how to choose. Because I’m looking at empty space, there is nothing to choose from.

Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?

I wish I can. But again they just appear from nowhere (empty space) then trigger emotions.

Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?

That would be nice . But in reality I can’t pick and choose. If thoughts are lined up for me to choose, I would. But how can I choose an unknown thing, I only know it when it appears.

Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?

No it is not possible. I push them away when they appear and I can’t stop them from appearing.

It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organised sequence? Or is that just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that ‘one thought follows another thought’?

I don’t know why they are coming and from where, from where I have seen (from empty space). I’m thinking from subconscious, but that’s a thought saying that. Order or chaos are another thoughts. Sometimes they follow my experience, like different cluster of thoughts in different situations. Sometimes they are in sequence, like when I’m analyzing something, but each thought appears by itself not as a cause effect thing.

Can you find an inherent self anywhere, outside of thought?

Outside thoughts (past or future) I can’t find a clear undoubtable self

Can thought experience thought?

This is a good question! No! Thought is not aware and can’t experience anything

Sincerely,

[Anastacia42]

Great observations!

Now. how does it FEEL to see this?

Loving

[LostSoul]

Hi Stacy,

Great observations!

Thank you! I have a great teacher

Now. how does it FEEL to see this?

This question is where the rubber meets the road.
I have mental images as thoughts, and very few mental narrations (voice in the head).
It’s like the overly layer used in digital-image editors.
When I close my eyes, logically I should see nothing because my eyelids block all the outside light, but I still see images of the room, images of outside the room, images from the past, images from the future. All imaginations (clearly I’m delusional)
Even when I hear any sound an image is associated with it. Cars passing by (image of cars), bird’s sound (image of a bird), people talking (made up image of people)… world of images (thoughts) and at the center of this imaginary world is me (another image another thought) images of my body and my face (angry face, happy face, silly-looking face), images of people looking at me (in reality there is no one looking, all made up).
I live inside this imaginary world and when I collapse that world I disappear with it. But It takes effort to collapse that imaginary world, and it is like a glimpse of no-self once there is no more thoughts.

To answer your question “How does it feel to see this?”

It feels fake, imaginary and made up. And it is becoming clearer with each question and exercise.
Like the “ButtChair” exercise. I realized I don’t have a butt and there is no chair. All made up.

In the “I am complete” meditations, there is a play with thoughts locations or reverse of attributes or even reverse of time. It made me wonder about my judgements and my like and dislike, even past and future. I can turn the images from the past to be an imagination from the future and it will still be valid.

So what is stopping me from disbelieving these thoughts? That’s beyond my understanding

Sincerely,

[Anastacia42]

Nothing is stopping you. Be patient.

Remember this?


"Enlightenment is an accident. Meditation makes us accident prone."

Sunryu Suzuki

We cannot predict it and we cannot make it happen. We can only practice the conditions in which it is more likely.

This frustrates the mind because it wants everything to be linear and logical and step-by-step, but this is not. It is non linear and unpredictable.


Loving

[LostSoul]

Nothing is stopping you. Be patient.

Yes Stacy. I will be patient. Thank you!

Sincerely,

[LostSoul]

Hi Stacy,

Is there a book, you recommend, that explore the no-self from a different angle?, I have read “gateless gatecrashers”

Sincerely,

[Anastacia42]

Sure, but all the books won't wake you up. LOOKING will.

There is no "angle." Just LOOK!

https://www.amazon.com/Awake-Your-Turn- ... 1737212323

He has a lot of YouTube videos, too.

or this:

https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Awakenin ... B09Q37VMR4


Article:

https://www.liberationunleashed.com/res ... ar-seeker/


Video:

https://youtu.be/wyNwhK2Ur1c?si=TZwuFEst-7Hsadpu


Keep posting here.

Loving

[LostSoul]

Hi Stacy,

Sure, but all the books won't wake you up. LOOKING will.

You are right. It’s like a deflection or a diversion from really looking. I remember when we started our conversation I was really looking and it was . Then seeking come back.

There is no "angle." Just LOOK!

I will go back and do this conversation all over again. I think that’s the only way.

https://www.amazon.com/Awake-Your-Turn- ... 1737212323

He has a lot of YouTube videos, too.

I read that. I watched big portion of his videos. Even I practiced “what is mu”

or this:

https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Awakenin ... B09Q37VMR4

I read that too

Article:

https://www.liberationunleashed.com/res ... ar-seeker/

This is niceee
Same message like yours

Video:

https://youtu.be/wyNwhK2Ur1c?si=TZwuFEst-7Hsadpu

You have sent me that before. I like it.
You are right. I need to look and investigate. Readings got me nowhere.

Keep posting here.

I will try my best. I need to do the investigation all over again and post my findings here

Sincerely,

[Anastacia42]

You're doing better than you think you are.

The reason we all tell you to look is because it is the only thing that works.

Yes, it wouldn't hurt to review your thread from the beginning.

Loving,

[LostSoul]

Hi Stacy,

You're doing better than you think you are.

Thank you

The reason we all tell you to look is because it is the only thing that works.

Yes. You are right! I was drifting with the seeking current. It’s good you pointed me back to the looking.

Yes, it wouldn't hurt to review your thread from the beginning.

I will do that and report to you my new findings.

Sincerely,