Becca, are you available?

[graceabounds]

Sit quietly and relax, take your time just looking at what is in front of you for a while. Observe how the mind is dividing and labelling every thing into objects and is embellishing them with stories about what they are.

Give it some time. Then, stop watching the objects as labelled objects. Just look at the seeing itself. Observe the pure process of seeing. This is direct experience.


Here's an exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply color/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought.

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:
Seeing a cup, simply= image/color
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all direct experience) and report back how you go.

After some time working with that exercise, pick up your hand. Look.
What is actually here? Colors? Sensation? Movement?

Now add the thought “my hand.”
See it? That’s the birth of selfing.

Go again. Pick up the hand. Look. Stay in the raw textures without naming. Don’t move on until you report from that place.

What’s actually there?
What’s not?

[Lj321]

Hi there,

Sorry for not checking in. My nephew’s here from Alaska amongst other life happenings. I’ve been feeling very distracted and have had a lot of sensations rolling through. I struggled with this practice and did it more in quiet times instead of during activities.

I could easily label thoughts, smells and tastes just as thoughts, smells and tastes, but not the other sense gates.
Sounds were predominant and constant even though I live in a quiet environment and I was interested in listening to them and so tended to identify them. My way of looking seems to be toward a wide lens and seeing seeing, but saying ‘image/color’ didn’t resonate.

When I picked up my hand, I saw colors, sensation and movement. It was a noticing that felt detached from me. Have to say that I’m confused. When I name it my hand, I don’t have a sense of what’s actually there and what’s not.

I’m babysitting all day tomorrow and have dinner with my family tomorrow night. Will try to practice more diligently and will report changes on Friday morning.

Thanks and may grace always abound,
Laurie

[graceabounds]

No problem.

I will give you two exercises to investigate some of what you are describing. Feel free to reply separately or all together as you prefer and time allows.


Have a look at an apple. If you have a ‘real’ apple, you can google for one to use for this exercise.
When looking at an apple, there's color; a thought saying ‘apple’; and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple."
What is known for sure? Color is known and thoughts are known.

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?
Actual or direct experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just
more thought. Actual experience is sound, thought, color, smell, taste, sensation.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?
Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?
While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in direct experience.
This is what is meant by ‘looking in direct experience ‘. What you know for sure and is always here.

Taste labelled ‘apple’ is known
Color labelled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labelled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labelled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known
However, is an apple actually known?

Is ‘hand’ actually known?
How does ‘confusion’ arise in direct experience, or is it present only in thought?

—————

For this exercise you will need to sit yourself near a clock that has an audible second hand. If you don’t have a ticking clock, then here is a link to a clock on Youtube.

https://youtu.be/VkVvU6p6AEE?si=E47PR_ia3QQLH6Yo

Allow your eyes to close gently.
Listen to the sound. “Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock”
Focus on the tick tock. Attune to the sound itself. IGNORE any explanatory thoughts about what must be creating the sound.

Try to find the clock.

1. Going just by the tick tock sound, do you find a clock present?
2. Is there any direct/actual experience of a clock in the sound?
3. Does the sound come self-labelled as originating from the clock?
4. Do you find a clock hidden in the sound?
5. Do you find a clock beyond the sound?
6. In your direct/actual experience of the sound, do you find any evidence that the sound is caused by a clock?

Allow your eyes to open.

Were you able to establish that in your direct/actual experience of the tick tock sound, that there was a clock?
Were you able to find a division between hearing and sound?
Were you able to establish where hearing ended and sound begin, or was there just pure experience labelled as sound?
For a sound to be ‘known’ then there must be a ‘knowing’ (experience) of sound! Can a dividing line be found between the ‘knowing’ (experience) of the sound and the sound (known) itself? Or is there only ‘knowingknown’?

Please use the quote function to answer one question at a time. If you look back at some of your older posts they haven’t been formatting properly. Here is a short tutorial on how it works.

https://youtu.be/QCbZYSvnTpc?si=4gb3PnpTakjwLaAp

-Becca

[Lj321]

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

No, by your definition there’s no ‘apple’ here as images are not actually known. By my definition, I would say there really is an apple here.

Is ‘hand’ actually known?
How does ‘confusion’ arise in direct experience, or is it present only in thought?

Again, hand is not actually known if the image present does not qualify as direct experience. Confusion only arises when thoughts are present.

1. Going just by the tick tock sound, do you find a clock present?

No.

2. Is there any direct/actual experience of a clock in the sound?

No

3. Does the sound come self-labelled as originating from the clock?

No

4. Do you find a clock hidden in the sound?

No

5. Do you find a clock beyond the sound?

No

6. In your direct/actual experience of the sound, do you find any evidence that the sound is caused by a clock?

No, I have a thought about it but that’s not direct experience.

Were you able to establish that in your direct/actual experience of the tick tock sound, that there was a clock?

The sound and the image happened simultaneously in the present moment so I would say yes.

Were you able to find a division between hearing and sound?

No, I couldn’t.

Were you able to establish where hearing ended and sound begin, or was there just pure experience labelled as sound?

To me, hearing is always present as a receptive sense. When I snap my fingers, sound and hearing appear to be simultaneous.

For a sound to be ‘known’ then there must be a ‘knowing’ (experience) of sound! Can a dividing line be found between the ‘knowing’ (experience) of the sound and the sound (known) itself? Or is there only ‘knowingknown’?

Just a knowing known.

Off for a walk ;)

[graceabounds]

By my definition, I would say there really is an apple here.

What makes that thought feel true?
Where do you feel that certainty?

Right now, hold an apple (or anything, use a pen if you need to). Look.

Strip away all names, functions, memories, and assumptions. Let the image, texture, and shape hit the senses without the word.

Now tell me… What remains of “apple”?
And what remains of “you” who sees an apple?


quote]The sound and the image happened simultaneously in the present moment so I would say yes.[/quote]

Here is an exercise which points out the difference between direct experience and content of thought.

There are two types of thoughts:
(1) Thoughts with words “Here is cup”
(2) Visual mental images of a ‘cup’

So I invite you to do this exercise:
Think of a cup. Get a very clear picture in your mind. See clearly the size, shape, color and volume of the cup. Notice whether it is decorated or plain. Notice whether it has a handle. Notice whether it is heavy or fragile. Do you have a clear picture in mind?

Now, can you physically grasp that image of a cup?
Can you pour tea into it?
Can you drink from it?
Is there a ‘real’ cup or just an image of a cup?
Is there an appearing mental image?
Is the content of the mental image (the cup) ‘real’?

The thoughts and mental images are real only as arising thoughts and mental images, their ‘presence’ cannot be denied. However their contents, what are they about are not ‘real’, they are just fantasies. Can you see this?

Over the course of the next day or so, I'd like you to notice the content of thoughts. Whenever there is an arising thought or mental image, check whether its content (what it’s about) is really happening, or the content is just pure imagination. Let me know how it goes.

[Lj321]

Strip away all names, functions, memories, and assumptions. Let the image, texture, and shape hit the senses without the word.

Now tell me… What remains of “apple”?
And what remains of “you” who sees an apple?

I had forgotten the lesson that a cup doesn’t have “cup-ness”. That’s defined by perceived functions. So stripping away mental renderings, all that’s left of “apple” is the image/color, texture, shape and, if held, weight.
Nothing remains of “me” who saw the apple. Memories are empty, and so is the seer.

Now, can you physically grasp that image of a cup?
Can you pour tea into it?
Can you drink from it?
Is there a ‘real’ cup or just an image of a cup?
Is there an appearing mental image?
Is the content of the mental image (the cup) ‘real’?

No to all of the above. Mental images and thoughts are not real.

I often look at the trees and clouds without labeling them, but seeing them as part of a constantly changing broad field. Is studying their appearance more closely counter-indicated?

[graceabounds]

Not at all… studying the appearance closely is only counter-indicated when it drags you back into the mind’s labeling, ownership, or narrative.

Look at a tree. Drop the word “tree.” Drop the label “leaves,” “trunk,” “sky.”

Like the apple, can you look so closely that the idea of “object” dissolves, and what remains is a dance of form, unstable, boundary-less?

If nothing remains if you who sees the apple or the tree,
is anything separate from this field?
Is anything “you” witnessing this moment?

[Lj321]

Happy Thanksgiving Becca, ever thankful for you-

It’s been a whirly-swirly time with family and friends. Next week will be a shift into quiet time, so “I” plan to rest in awareness as much a “my” distractible nature allows.

Like the apple, can you look so closely that the idea of “object” dissolves, and what remains is a dance of form, unstable, boundary-less?

I have experienced fleeting glimpses of this before.

If nothing remains if you who sees the apple or the tree,
is anything separate from this field?

No

Is anything “you” witnessing this moment?

No

[graceabounds]

Happy New England Thanksgiving!

I” plan to rest in awareness as much a “my” distractible nature allows.

Where is the “I” making this plan?
Where is the one “resting in awareness”?
Where is this “distractible nature”?

Not as thoughts or ideas… Find them in raw direct experience. Do they exist at all?

Can you locate this distractible self?
Can you find the planner?
Or is there only flickering of thought claiming that which is already unfolding on its own?

Can there just be what is happening, unowned?

[Lj321]

Thanks!

Ha! There “I” go again, not being ok with what is and seeing “myself” as anxious and distractible instead of allowing it to be seen as a passing state.

“I” plan to rest in awareness as much a “my” distractible nature allows.
Where is the “I” making this plan? IT CAN’T BE FOUND. IT WAS JUST A THOUGHT.
Where is the one “resting in awareness”? NOWHERE. THERE IS NO DIVISION.
Where is this “distractible nature”? IT CAN’T BE FOUND.

Can you locate this distractible self? NO
Can you find the planner? NO
Or is there only flickering of thought claiming that which is already unfolding on its own? THAT’S IT.

I’ve been looking at fear, anger, guilt and shame through my fetter study group. Anger takes hold quicker than the others, but I’m able to be with the sensations more easily now. Anxiousness has always been a challenge. I wondered where it came into play in the fetters and figured it would be addressed later. It doesn’t matter. It has the same effect of solidifying my illusion of a separate self.

I’ve been looking at where the sensations of anxiety are strongest. They’ve moved throughout the day from the lower front part of my head and my throat to my chest. It feels tight with scrambled racing energy, but eventuallly wanes and pleasant sensations are noticeable. Since I’m no longer seeing it as a reflection of me or anything consquential, I’m able to stay with them when I’m aware.

Colonoscopy tomorrow morning. Time to pound down another glass of the pre-op concoction.

Thanks again.

[graceabounds]

Anxiousness has always been a challenge

To work with this, we get to look at two things, the illusion of control and time.

Let’s take the latter first.

There is a general assumption that there is linear time that started (if started at all) somewhere very far in the past and advances to the distant future. The present moment (now) is considered to be a very small fragment of time, or an event that is moving forward on a linear line, coming from the past and advancing to the future.

But is there a direct experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?
Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?
Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?
Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

How long does the ‘now’ last?
Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?
When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?
What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

So is there an actual experience of ‘time’ or only thoughts about ‘time’?

[Lj321]

Thank you for pointing me in the right direction again. I listened to some 7th fetter talks and a guided meditation that shifted me into really staying with present moment sensations so I could explore the questions you asked. It’s late, so I can’t fully articulate what I experienced. I will need to continue to revisit this.

But is there a direct experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?

No. The ‘now’ is very expansive. Past sensations and future projections were vague and trailed into oblivion.

Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next

? No

Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

. Nothing I can delineate,

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

Faster than I can cognize, but seemingly everything seems to be constantly happening in place timelessly.

Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

No

How long does the ‘now’ last?

It feels like it’s always there, but always over with the hum of changing sensations.

Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?

I don’t know.

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?

With each new sensation.

What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

There seems to be a trace of sensations after they are experienced that then dissolves.

So is there an actual experience of ‘time’ or only thoughts about ‘time’?

These are just my thoughts about time.

I’m amazed by how centering and calming this is given the buzz of everything happening at once.

Again, thank you for being there for me Becca…

[Lj321]

Thank you for pointing me in the right direction again. I listened to some 7th fetter talks and a guided meditation that shifted me into really staying with present moment sensations so I could explore the questions you asked. It’s late, so I can’t fully articulate what I experienced. I will need to continue to revisit this.

But is there a direct experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?

No. The ‘now’ is very expansive. Past sensations and future projections were vague and trailed into oblivion.

Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next

? No

Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

. Nothing I can delineate,

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

Faster than I can cognize, but seemingly everything seems to be constantly happening in place timelessly.

Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

No

How long does the ‘now’ last?

It feels like it’s always there, but always over with the hum of changing sensations.

Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?

I don’t know.

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?

With each new sensation.

What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

There seems to be a trace of sensations after they are experienced that then dissolves.

So is there an actual experience of ‘time’ or only thoughts about ‘time’?

These are just my thoughts about time.

I’m amazed by how centering and calming this is given the buzz of everything happening at once.

Again, thank you for being there for me Becca…

[Lj321]

Thank you for pointing me in the right direction again. I listened to some 7th fetter talks and a guided meditation that shifted me into really staying with present moment sensations so I could explore the questions you asked. It’s late, so I can’t fully articulate what I experienced. I will need to continue to revisit this.

But is there a direct experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?

No. The ‘now’ is very expansive. Past sensations and future projections were vague and trailed into oblivion.

Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next

? No

Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

. Nothing I can delineate,

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

Faster than I can cognize, but seemingly everything seems to be constantly happening in place timelessly.

Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

No

How long does the ‘now’ last?

It feels like it’s always there, but always over with the hum of changing sensations.

Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?

I don’t know.

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?

With each new sensation.

What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

There seems to be a trace of sensations after they are experienced that then dissolves.

So is there an actual experience of ‘time’ or only thoughts about ‘time’?

These are just my thoughts about time.

I’m amazed by how centering and calming this is given the buzz of everything happening at once.

Again, thank you for being there for me Becca…

[Lj321]

Thank you for pointing me in the right direction again. I listened to some 7th fetter talks and a guided meditation that shifted me into really staying with present moment sensations so I could explore the questions you asked. It’s late, so I can’t fully articulate what I experienced. I will need to continue to revisit this.

But is there a direct experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?

No. The ‘now’ is very expansive. Past sensations and future projections were vague and trailed into oblivion.

Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next

? No

Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?

. Nothing I can delineate,

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

Faster than I can cognize, but seemingly everything seems to be constantly happening in place timelessly.

Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

No

How long does the ‘now’ last?

It feels like it’s always there, but always over with the hum of changing sensations.

Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?

I don’t know.

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?

With each new sensation.

What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

There seems to be a trace of sensations after they are experienced that then dissolves.

So is there an actual experience of ‘time’ or only thoughts about ‘time’?

These are just my thoughts about time.

I’m amazed by how centering and calming this is given the buzz of everything happening at once.

Again, thank you for being there for me Becca…