Committed

[Yano]

Oh yes the old tension in the head phenomena

I was a little worried I was giving myself an aneurysm.

When it's talking turn your attention to it and simply wait. What happens?

The voice dissolves and there's a subtle tense sensation that sort've feels like anxiety but more in the chest area.

Can you see how repression creates identification Adam? Do your best to describe how this comes about. Don't go to concepts - take a real good look and see if you can detect what happens directly in your experience. (This is pretty subtle but definitely worth a look and attempting to describe what is experienced when it happens)

There becomes an identification with the movement of repression, that "I" am the one doing the repression as a "controller".

As you LOOK at the sentence above and without any reference to thought, what is actually SEEN? What is your Actual Experience here?

The redness becomes a concept of "redness" and there is the experience of the concept of "redness" interacting with the concepts of "good" and "bad"


Thank you.


Adam.

[Alless]

I was a little worried I was giving myself an aneurysm.

If physical symptoms do appear where you would seek medical advice please do that

The voice dissolves

Interesting huh! IF you ask it a question and wait a silence typically ensues this voice in the head. Yet when we are not conscious as to what's happening it so influencing in our experience.

There becomes an identification with the movement of repression, that "I" am the one doing the repression as a "controller".

Yes. Indeed. Good start to seeing this mechanism it is the thought "I" connected with what follows makes it all seem to be about a separate "me"

The redness becomes a concept of "redness" and there is the experience of the concept of "redness" interacting with the concepts of "good" and "bad"

OK. Let's take a closer look here as it demonstrates how at a fundamental level the mind overlays direct experience.
Black and red is so true !! Series of words is a label.

Would a baby see a series of words or just colour?





And there’s more !!

For ease of reference here is the sentence again

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If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’, is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggest?

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As you LOOK at the sentence above and without any reference to thought, what is actually SEEN?




What is directly seen here is red, black and white is it not? It can actually feel like a trick question because while it's such a simple exercise, it can powerfully demonstrate how quickly thoughts can sabotage and hypnotize

As a side note (and you may have experienced this already) if you show someone the page of any book and ask them what they see, invariably they will say something like words or letters. Rarely does anyone say "I see the white of the page." And yet the white is what takes up most of the page and we could not read the words without it!

And I'll ask you to look again because in fact what is really SEEN when we are looking at the sentence in this exercise, we also see green (lines delineating the sentence) and also blue (the color of the text in the question) even though we are not focusing on it per say, it is still SEEN.

Now hold your gaze on the sentence again and without moving your eyes or your head.
Are you not also aware of the oranges, greys, blacks of the LU website background behind the white text panel?




Now again without moving your eyes or head let your gaze soften even more and be aware of your peripheral vision.
Are you actually seeing more colours than you initially THOUGHT you were which are part of your computer screen or device and out into the room where you are?




Take a couple of minutes with a soft gaze to simply be open all that is seen in this moment.
How would you describe what you are experiencing if thought is not entertained?





As you let your gaze soften and your eyes de-focus even slightly, what happens to thoughts?




First of all, let’s remind ourselves what this exploration is all about. It's about finding out whether this notion of a “me” is actually true or not. For the purposes of this exploration we define this "me" as an independent entity that exists separate from the flow of life.

Now, rather then paying attention to what you are looking AT, turn your attention to the SEEING itself, to what you are looking FROM, as you LOOK. Can you find a specific place from which SEEING arises?




As you continue to look can you find a “me” that is in control of the SEEING?





Can you choose to stop SEEING?





While everything in the visual field is continually changing does the SEEING ITSELF change in any way?



Going back to the moment when you became conscious of the white background (and then the other colors) which was not noticed till it was pointed out, what changed to bring that realization about?




Was there any figuring out to be done or was it simply SEEING what was there?





So explore the SEEING that is happening with these questions in mind and tell me anything else about your DIRECT EXPERIENCE that you are noticing



We are not inducing anything here that is not already happening. All we are doing is taking a close LOOK at what is actually happening in the visual experience. And in doing so are starting to reveal and investigate some of the assumptions we have made about our visual experience.


Next time you go for a walk check in with what is happening with labeling and interpreting as you walk. Just look with curiosity as to what is happening as you pay close attention to visual experiencing. I’d love to hear. What happened?



No need to rush. If you feel you need extra time please just let me know.

And let yourself be curious with all this without trying to figure anything out !!!!

With love


Alan

[Yano]

Hi Alan :)

No need to rush. If you feel you need extra time please just let me know.
And let yourself be curious with all this without trying to figure anything out !!!!

Yes please on the extra time. It's been a bit of a tumultuous week.

Also some of these questions are really direct and I almost don't want to answer them because I want to spend a lot more time with them.

Thank you

Adam

[Alless]

I really appreciate the heads up Adam.

Do take the time you need.

And just watch how thoughts will impose themselves and distract from what is actually happening

And be really patient with yourself and trust what you truly experience.

With love


Alan

[Alless]

Are you still with us Adam?

[Yano]

Hi Alan.

I'm still with you.

Sorry for the delay, I should've mentioned something sooner. Some unexpected personal events happened in the past week but I am still very conscious of this and eager to continue when settled, which should be this weekend. I've been looking at my visual experience throughout the day.

Adam.

[Yano]

Would a baby see a series of words or just colour?

A baby would see just colour.

As you LOOK at the sentence above and without any reference to thought, what is actually SEEN?

It's hard to describe it without thought, but a line of black and red.

Are you not also aware of the oranges, greys, blacks of the LU website background behind the white text panel?

Once it was pointed out, yes. Outside of my focal point.

Are you actually seeing more colours than you initially THOUGHT you were which are part of your computer screen or device and out into the room where you are?

Yes.

Are you not also aware of the oranges, greys, blacks of the LU website background behind the white text panel?

Yes.

How would you describe what you are experiencing if thought is not entertained?

A lot of different colours and light. Everything delineated and without boundary.

As you let your gaze soften and your eyes de-focus even slightly, what happens to thoughts?

Thoughts also seem to soften and de-focus.

Can you find a specific place from which SEEING arises?

I'm finding it tough to parse what "seeing" is or where it stops and starts.

As you continue to look can you find a “me” that is in control of the SEEING?

When I look for the "me" I find something that I can't grasp and eventually it reflects back onto everything else. It doesn't seem in control of the seeing.

Can you choose to stop SEEING?

It's just happening.

While everything in the visual field is continually changing does the SEEING ITSELF change in any way?

It stays the same.

Going back to the moment when you became conscious of the white background (and then the other colors) which was not noticed till it was pointed out, what changed to bring that realization about?

Nothing changed other than it was pointed out and it was recognised as something that is also in visual field.

Was there any figuring out to be done or was it simply SEEING what was there?

There was no figuring out to be done.

So explore the SEEING that is happening with these questions in mind and tell me anything else about your DIRECT EXPERIENCE that you are noticing

A clash of colours, movement. Layered sounds and thoughts come and go. I have a gut issue right now and this sensation takes up a lot of the experience. This all appears as one interwoven thing when defocused.

Next time you go for a walk check in with what is happening with labeling and interpreting as you walk. Just look with curiosity as to what is happening as you pay close attention to visual experiencing. I’d love to hear. What happened?

There are longer periods as I'm walking where I'm in my visual experience without labelling and interpreting or the separation of objects, and in this space is also the mind and thoughts that appear as an overlay but can also be very faint and transparent.

Thank you.

Adam.

[Alless]

Oh Adam. Just spotted your post of a week ago. For some reason the notification of your post did not come through. Apologies for the tardy response. I'm just heading to bed in this part of the world and will be back to you tomorrow.

With love


Alan

[Alless]

Hello Adam

I'm glad to be back with you. And back to your post

Good report of direct experience here.

I'm finding it tough to parse what "seeing" is or where it stops and starts.

Parsing is a mind mechanism and of course it is always trying to fathom the unfathomable !

This all appears as one interwoven thing when defocused.

Lovely. The thing to be aware of is that focusing is a movement of mind. The mind is always tending towards the specific. Thus we are often in an unconscious fragmentation of experience. Being aware of this happening is so important.

and in this space is also the mind and thoughts that appear as an overlay but can also be very faint and transparent.

Great. There is ebbing and flowing. Just being aware of what comes and goes in that "space" is what this investigation makes apparent. We are not trying to get rid of anything. As best you can just let everything be as it is.


Let's now take this exercise. Take a cup for instance. Grab one and hold it in your hand.

PART I

Let your gaze settle on it. Let your attention be thoroughly absorbed by the colors. Do your best to avoid labeling in any way. Just let the tones, the complexities, the subtleness of the colors be SEEN for what they are.
What in particular do you notice about what is going on in this experience of SEEING?



Can you describe what is seen in any way accurately so that someone listening or reading would know EXACTLY what you are experiencing?



As you are looking at the cup, notice its features. As you look at it notice what is happening in your experience.
Are there thoughts labeling what you see? A handle perhaps, the lip, the shape of it?



Is there any distinction between seeing, looking and noticing for you? What happens attention …….When seeing? When looking? When noticing?



Can you find some specific thing that we can call a "me" doing the seeing?




Watch thoughts as you consider who or what is seeing. Notice what happens to seeing as you consider this. Did the seeing change in any way or stop? How do thoughts affect the experience of seeing?





With love


Alan

[Yano]

Hi Alan,

It's good to be here again. :)

What in particular do you notice about what is going on in this experience of SEEING?

I am noticing that the mind is present but has no impact on what is being seen, which requires no mind.

Can you describe what is seen in any way accurately so that someone listening or reading would know EXACTLY what you are experiencing?

There is no way to adequately transcribe what is being exactly experienced

Are there thoughts labeling what you see? A handle perhaps, the lip, the shape of it?

It's a lot quieter but there is a thought that separates it as an object with a shape when prompted to.

Is there any distinction between seeing, looking and noticing for you? What happens attention …….When seeing? When looking? When noticing?

There is some distinction. When 'seeing' attention feels very gentle and is very open. When 'looking' attention is more directed and there is a narrowing. 'Noticing' is even more directed and narrow. But also when you pointed out before that 'seeing' is immutable and doesn't come from me, I became more aware of how movements of the mind aren't 'seeing'.

Can you find some specific thing that we can call a "me" doing the seeing?

When I'm looking for a "me", there are thoughts around the "presence", that I am the experiencer.

Watch thoughts as you consider who or what is seeing. Notice what happens to seeing as you consider this. Did the seeing change in any way or stop? How do thoughts affect the experience of seeing?

The seeing becomes obscured by thoughts.

Thank you!

Adam

[Alless]

Good work Adam


Now we'll slow this investigating experiencing right down.

To do this simply watch thoughts as you look at the cup.
As you start to watch thoughts and wait for the first thought to arise what happened?



Did you actually choose which thought arose first or did a thought just appear?



After a while of watching thoughts, what happens to them?



As you watch the thoughts does the experience of seeing the cup change in any way?




Take a few moments from time to time throughout the day and investigate your thoughts in this way.
Is there anything in particular you would like to report about your experience as a result?




With love


Alan

[Yano]

As you start to watch thoughts and wait for the first thought to arise what happened?

A thought appeared, not about the cup but about myself. There was a sensation in my solar plexus that felt like "doubt", and I had the thought that I might not be doing it right.

Did you actually choose which thought arose first or did a thought just appear?

The thoughts just appear.

After a while of watching thoughts, what happens to them?

The thoughts lose content. There are still thoughts, but they seem barely formed and closer to sensations.

As you watch the thoughts does the experience of seeing the cup change in any way?

As I watch the thoughts lose content, I become aware that thoughts have nothing to do with what is seen.

Take a few moments from time to time throughout the day and investigate your thoughts in this way.
Is there anything in particular you would like to report about your experience as a result?

Everything is a little more vibrant recently, and I've become more aware of a "gap" between mind/thoughts which come and go and the sense fields, which are stable.

Thank you :)

Adam

[Yano]

Hi Alan

On my walk something shifted. It's very subtle, but I can't look "inside" anymore. Something that was there is now missing. There's a slight panic and frustration as the looking meets a wall.

[Alless]

Hello Adam

Let's start with you last message.

It's very subtle, but I can't look "inside" anymore

Ah by what you report this sounds very much an aspect of this that we call non-duality. The truth is that there is actually no "inside" and "outside" "Inside" and "outside" are actually constructs of the mind. It actually never is other than this - no "inside" or "outside" - but the mind creates this perspective. But having seen this do not try and hang on to it. And do not be surprised if it seems to come and go over the next little while. It is just the mind trying to assert itself. As things settle you typically will be aware of both perspectives with the "inside" or "outside" becoming less and less dominant.

Here's something to look at.
Let your attention rest on a thought or on an image. Then move your attention towards an object in the room you are sitting in. Move it back to the thought or image in your mind.
As you do this can you find any boundary between what we would call an inside and an outside?




Do this a few times.
And can you find any dividing line or anything that would cause any separation in awareness as you traverse “that space.”






As for the wall, let your gaze settle there again. As you are aware of it with a soft gaze if you didn't call it a wall (which is a label imposed by the mind) what would be your experience of what you are labeling a wall?



With these shifts that happen it is totally understandable that there can be these (and often very strong) emotional reactions. There is a disorientation which the mind does not take kindly to and reaction happens. Just let it be as best you can. Let me know what happens If a deep concern arises please let me know and we will address it specifically.


With love


Alan

[Yano]

As you do this can you find any boundary between what we would call an inside and an outside?

I can't find a boundary between inside and outside as it is all happening in front of me, and when I look for that "me" there is a movement of attention onto more subtle sensations that cause frustration. There has been a lot of frustration in the last few days.

And can you find any dividing line or anything that would cause any separation in awareness as you traverse “that space.”

There is my eyes defocusing when I turn attention to a thought. There are thoughts that attempt to categorise thoughts as inside the head or behind the eyes, and sensations as inside the body.

As for the wall, let your gaze settle there again. As you are aware of it with a soft gaze if you didn't call it a wall (which is a label imposed by the mind) what would be your experience of what you are labeling a wall?

When I look now I can only find more sensation.

Thank you,

Adam.