Hello, I'm new

[Anastacia42]

Sounds good.

As mentioned in Colored Socks, emotions are only Sensation plus a label & a story. That's all.

Take your time looking at this. Remember to LOOK, not think.

Loving,

[Prism]

Thank you Stacy, I will.
I think it will be a good idea to take time to reflect on this. Being careful to look and not think, as you point out.
Besides I feel like I am bombarding you at the moment so Ill give you some breathing room as well:)

As you have probably noticed by now I am 100% invested in this so this is all I do when not working or tending to family matters. I am aware that I am probably overdoing it, and that it might acctually be counter productive keeping this pace up.

But, I simply cannot stop. Nothing else interests me and I feel completely overtaken by this. Not in a negative sense.
It is just the only thing that feels important.

Tomorrow I will take the family on a trip to the archipelago together with relatives to celebrate a typical Swedish midsummer. I will be away from tomorrow until Sunday so if I do not post so much during these days you will know why.

Whenever possible I will use the time to reflect on the 2nd fetter and hopefully come back with some insight.
It could be potent grounds for investigation if the old saying is true: “If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” ;)

Thank you for everything up until this point Stacy, I feel truly blessed having you as my guide!
(And apologies for posting so frequently!)

[Anastacia42]

You are doing great!

I feel the same way: this is the only thing that is important to me. I work at a 40 hr a week job to support doing this as a volunteer. Sometime, if I can work it out, I may find a way to ask for donations, but not here on LU.

Yes, as long as you are relaxed, do as much as you want. But if you find yourself feeling stressed, find ways to relax.

Enjoy your holiday and thank you for the pretty picture!

Loving,

[Prism]

Hi Stacy!
Hope you’re doing well?

I have been doing ButtChair the whole drive today, plus doing it every now and then during idle moments.
It’s a good exercise to get out of the head for sure.

Digging deep into the 2nd feather and try to understand what to do while working on this one. Pernille’s advice from the video series that you shared was to create space, stay with the emotion and just let it do its thing. Do you have any other suggestions on how to proceed with overcoming doubt?

[Anastacia42]

I never had any doubt, so I'm not an expert on that;; however, Todd. Pernille's husband had a lot of it. I believe he's part of some videos on that.

You don't need 20 methods to handle doubt. You need patience with what you've got.

See what you can do with this:

https://youtu.be/trB0Fi6dpg0?si=kSpd4XHyJcaYY9SG

Loving,

[Prism]

I’m selfing like crazy.
How do I stop believing thoughts?

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

I’m selfing like crazy.
How do I stop believing thoughts?

The best way I've ever found is The Work of Byron Katie. I did years of that before seeing there was no "self."

www.thework.com

Watch a few videos and see how it works.

Loving,

[Prism]

Dear Stacy!

I don’t know what to tell you without sounding fake.
Whenever I speak, I instantly regret every word because it sounds untrue.
Every action, every memory, everything about ”me” that is planted into this world just feels so wrong and false.
It’s like life is perfect until I open my mouth or make a decision. Life is real when I stay out of it, which leads to that I sit and shut up and can’t participate because if I do I inject untruth into a true moment.
Also, I have found out that I am apparently a very negative person because as soon as I speak it is about what is wrong. Okay, that’s all for now! Will start with the work tomorrow to see if I can cleanse some of this out. Byron recommends to start doing the work on other people first but honestly, there is only one person in this world I cannot stand (me) so I’ll get started on the good stuff right away.
Hope you are doing well!

Love,
Nik

[Prism]

I long for authenticity but I am the one who is injecting unauthenticuty into reality

[Anastacia42]

Try not to be so harsh with yourself. We all do this. We were raised to do this.

The good stuff is other people.

She is right that we should start with other people.

It's too easy to make excuses, and judge ourselves and give up on ourselves..

Loving,

[Prism]

I have had a couple of rough days lately, feeling that I have regressed into selfing alot of the time. There has been much frustration and impatience and the feeling that every step is a step in the wrong direction. Every path is a path leading away from liberation.

But today, I finally got to experience a bit of relief from this perspective:
I had an insight into expectation and how it dictates the way I feel about almost anything.
I saw clearly that it isn't the world that is not how its supposed to be - its my expectations that are arguing with it, and also creating the whole scenario.

I saw that I play the role of a victim (of “unfortunate circumstances”) quite alot.
I saw that I have a fixed view on how things should be and what needs to happen in every moment for it to be a “good moment”. If and when reality doesn't live up to my expectations, I declare life to be difficult and unfair, and put hope into a future scenario when everything goes my way.. It’s not exactly strange that I suffer with this belief in place. On the contrary, it is to be expected.

So I am experimenting with letting go of trying to control the moment, and to see clearly that “my way” is just a fantasy of what could be - and also this dream scenario isn’t a guarantee to be happy, because there is always just that tiny little tweak that could make the moment just a tiny bit better. But it is just chasing a fantasy because my mind NEVER settles and says “ok, now I can rest because everything is perfect”.

In those few moments when my mind has nothing to complain about - it automatically creates something to complain about or something to regret, or to fear.
Now its time to realize that holding expectations and chasing the dream of how things could/should be IS the reason behind experiencing the moment as missing something.

I’m thinking of making a list with the theme of.. “I cannot be happy because…” and then list every expectation or belief that I currently consider a blocker for happiness.
After that I will run everything in that list into The Work and see if I can unlock them.
Do you think this is a good idea or do you have a different suggestion?

Also, I am not sure if this is borderline self-improvement work or not? I am not interested in improving a non-existant self so please let me know if it is starting to look like that. Currently looking into the ten fetters with the help of Pernille on The Awakening Curriculum and its opening my eyes to different perspectives, even thought I think it can be a bit too "new agey" every now and then for my taste

[Anastacia42]

Okay, that's a lot. Good stuff.

I’m thinking of making a list with the theme of.. “I cannot be happy because…” and then list every expectation or belief that I currently consider a blocker for happiness.
After that I will run everything in that list into The Work and see if I can unlock them.

Good idea!

Post here how it's going.

Loving,

[Prism]

Hi, what is alot? My wall of text?

Do you think it would be OK timing wise to do some fetter work or is there something else you would like me to focus on now?

[Prism]

How do I know when I'm "done" with the first fetter? How do I know when I have seen through self?

I have had experiences in the past of self dropping away completely and there is now a logical understanding that self does not and cannot exist.

Yet I experience self. And there is alot of seeking going on.
I'm far from done with this, right? There has not been a permanent shift..

Yet, it confuses me alot that there seem to be contradiction around what the experience is like after seeing through self.
Some say if you truly have then there is no question about it. Some say its subtle and the ultimate proof is that thoughts and feelings dont stick anylonger... others say there is no difference at all since theres never been a self to begin with, so there's no difference at all.

[Prism]

Some say "ego" completely drops away - and that is that.
And some say that "ego" is simply seen for what it is, and now the work can start to untangle the web of illusions that it has been creating and maintaining.

Whats what here?