Becoming No One

[NoPerson]

I did the first meditation again from the Dropbox link.

All It Is

I noticed that when labelling everything with "Ah, this is how God is appearing to me right now" that every experience seems equal. There is no separation in good or bad.

Also when coming back as the instructions say to the experience of me, which was the breath for me, I noticed this is also just an experience.

Experiencing the one who experiences, which is also how God is showing up, sounds paradoxical. No idea how to do it. This time I just tried to relax instead of trying to understand the instruction logically.

Not done, yet.

[Anastacia42]

Excellent. All good noticing.

Keep going. Keep posting how it goes.

Much love,

[NoPerson]

I probably won't be able to write an update before Saturday.

In the meantime, I am integrating the practices into daily routines and activities.

[Anastacia42]

Excellent. That's fine.

Loving,

[NoPerson]

I have to postpone the update again to tomorrow.

[NoPerson]

Now I finally have some time. And it is already late here.

I did the "Beginning Thinking" meditation again.

Could it be that the "place" before a thought arises is not really so different, or mystical, or metaphysical etc.? That it's just normal as it always is, but with a peacefulness? And I think this peacefulness is mostly or even solely a body sensation.

I said I was integrating practices into daily activities. What this means is mostly paying attention to things. E.g. similar to the hand turning exercise, I tried to figure out what or who is moving my body, or who is making decisions, thinking thoughts. And guess what, it's not me. Keys not found in jacket. However, am I 100% convinced without a doubt that the keys are not there? One would think so, but no. When I don't pay close attention, the illusion of being a separate person in control remains. Arrrg! At the same time, I think, I am becoming more aware of this underlying lie feeling, even though I am not 100% done investigating this.

I think, I should keep doing this exercise continuously, or at least as much as I can, until it's done. I'll try.

Also, I noticed, how thoughts (usually of the past) cause strong feelings in the body. Nothing new, but I was just very aware of this a couple of times. This happened mostly with noticing negative emotions.

Butt chair: I feel the sensation of the chair pushing against my butt, or rather gravity pulling. Believing there must be a separation. I am aware that this is only a concept of the mind. The location of the sensation is not even precise. And the sensation does not expose that there is a separation. Not done.

The book "Loving What Is" arrived. I ordered the translated into my native language edition and started reading a bit.

[Anastacia42]

Good! All of this is good practice.

Could it be that the "place" before a thought arises is not really so different, or mystical, or metaphysical etc.? That it's just normal as it always is, but with a peacefulness? And I think this peacefulness is mostly or even solely a body sensation.

Yes.

Loving,

[NoPerson]

Do you suggest applying "The Work" specifically to something, or should I just explore it by myself?

It seems to me as if this is going to require quite some effort. I would be willing to commit to it if necessary. But there already are a lot of exercises I am trying to fit into my schedule.

I guess, there is also no need to rush things. Just interested, if you had something specific in mind, when you suggested the book?

[Anastacia42]

I suggest that you do the Work with any and all stressful thoughts that are interfering with your clear seeing that there is no separate self.

We have all the time in the world.

When you ask is it true check your gut for tightness or relaxation as discussed above.

Loving,

[NoPerson]

I scheduled some time tonight to write. And I expected to have a moment for myself where I can only focus on this. But when I came home, things that were out of my control turned out differently. (Sorry for being so vague, but it's related to people that are very close, and I do not want to write about them on a public forum.)

[Anastacia42]

That's okay. Life happens. Do these when you can.

Much love,

[NoPerson]

My last couple of days have been very busy, unfortunately. I prefer to have more room for myself.

Anyway, there were no noticeable experiences, really. I am still trying to integrate practices into daily activities, and it is not going super well. When there is the intention of observing and looking for a doer or self, I often drift off into thoughts. Practicing butt-chair sometimes explicitly as a sitting meditation with a timer and sometimes just when there is an opportunity, like e.g. in public transport, in the gym, or while waiting somewhere.

Sometimes, I wonder if the illusion of the self is still there, at all? On the other hand, nothing seems or feels any different. But isn't that just a thought tied to an expectation? How do you see the absence of something? I also do not go around and think, "Oh, there is no Santa!" all the time. They say when there is an awakening, there is no doubt. Can't say that's the case, so I guess I am still caught in the illusion.

Btw. which books are ok to read while being guided? I reread a few sections of John Wheeler's book the other day. He writes so clear, simple and direct that I couldn't imagine it is a problem.

I hope to be able to continue with the pointers from the dropbox link in the next few days.

[Anastacia42]

trying to integrate practices into daily activities

Why? That's not in the instructions. It is fine to practice often, but only in a relaxed way. Stressing & trying too hard will prevent seeing.

I don't know John Wheeler. Can't say. We just don't want you getting confused with different methods.

[Anastacia42]

trying to integrate practices into daily activities

Why? That's not in the instructions. It is fine to practice often, but only in a relaxed way. Stressing & trying too hard will prevent seeing.

I don't know John Wheeler. Can't say. We just don't want you getting confused with different methods

We're.looking for a shift in perception.

it may be subtle & gradual or it may hit you like a ton of bricks.

Keep doing ButtChair & the DropBox pointers & post here about them. You're doing fine.

Loving

[NoPerson]

Why? That's not in the instructions. It is fine to practice often, but only in a relaxed way. Stressing & trying too hard will prevent seeing.

Oh, then I misunderstood what you said earlier:

You don't have to stop your life to do these pointers. Do them in the middle of the busy-ness. Do them on the busy-ness.

I thought this goes for all the practices. And it's good to have clarified this because I think it will help me be more relaxed with it.

John Wheeler should be fine to read. It's not a method, and it does not lead to confusion IMO.

No shift in perception right now. Will keep posting.