beyond the gate

[Blu]

Dear Nour,
I think I'm as afraid of failure as I am of success..
I will do what you suggested,
See you soon!

❤️

[warissem]

Good evening

Happy days.

[Blu]

Hi Nour,
i started rereading our conversation with the intent of repeating everything you asked me.
I apologize if it seems like a stupid question..
when you ask me at the beginning if i am the body, how should i look at the answer?
I know I have to look for the answer in direct experience, BUT direct experience of the body obviously says nothing while thoughts say "I".
Here i get stuck because i don't know how to have the answer from direct experience.

what am I doing wrong?

thanks and sorry again 🙂

[warissem]

Good evening

when you ask me at the beginning if i am the body, how should i look at the answer?

it is a good question.

I know I have to look for the answer in direct experience, BUT direct experience of the body obviously says nothing while thoughts say "I".
Here i get stuck because i don't know how to have the answer from direct experience.

Direct experience is seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching or sensations. There are thoughts but we don't lean on them. Direct experience, what is here now cannot be expressed in words but there is a need of words to communicate on this forum. The illusion is in the identification. There is a word "I" which is used in many circumstances. In direct experience : is "I" the body? what is called a body is seen, felt as sensations, possibly heard or smelt : now Is the body you ?
Are you aware of the body or is the body aware of you? Is the body noticing thoughts?
Now how to look at you : what is "I"? LOOK AT it in direct experience. You can see that it does not exist outside of thought, do you?

what am I doing wrong?

I invite you to watch this video :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyNwhK2Ur1c&t=8s


Best wishes for you

[Blu]

Hi Nour,
thank you very much for the video but I use the translator to communicate and I can't understand spoken English..

[warissem]

Dear Sylvia

I forget about the fact that a video is of no help for you because it is in english. Anyway it says that you need a burning desire for liberation and look at direct experience.

I know I have to look for the answer in direct experience, BUT direct experience of the body obviously says nothing while thoughts say "I".

It is the place which is sought : silence. The body does not say anything, even the whole experience (what is seen, heard, smelt, tasted, touched, felt as sensations, feelings, emotions) does not say anything. There is only thought which "says". In reality, even the thought does not say anything because "the thought says" is also a thought. Do you see how thoughts are creating a story about an "I", a you saying things, thinking, doing, etc ...?

Here i get stuck because i don't know how to have the answer from direct experience.

"I don't know" is the right place to be. The answer is not given through words. The answer is this "being stuck" of the mind (thought stories). The answer is that silence which is aware of "being stuck". Thoughts cannot grasp limitlessness. Just stay in "being stuck" and look if there is you, a separate self which is being stuck? or there is only a trial, a pull to understand That which cannot be understood, this aware presence, this aliveness. As I said above, you are at the right place, stay here, be still, don't move with thoughts or appearances.

Best wishes

[Blu]

Hi Nour

is "I" the body? what is called a body is seen, felt as sensations, possibly heard or smelt : now Is the body you ?

A timid "I don't know"..
In the sense, if and when I manage to exclude the content of the thought, in fact in direct experience nothing tells me that I am the body.
The sensation/conviction of being it remains

Are you aware of the body or is the body aware of you? Is the body noticing thoughts?

I am the one who is aware of the body and no, the body does not notice the thoughts

what is "I"? LOOK AT it in direct experience. You can see that it does not exist outside of thought, do you?

Maybe... yes and no
it's like a panorama behind a curtain moved by the wind... sometimes I glimpse it but... it's no longer there

The body does not say anything, even the whole experience (what is seen, heard, smelt, tasted, touched, felt as sensations, feelings, emotions) does not say anything.

Yes. The whole experience says nothing

There is only thought which "says". In reality, even the thought does not say anything because "the thought says" is also a thought. Do you see how thoughts are creating a story about an "I", a you saying things, thinking, doing, etc ...?

this is more difficult for me to see..

Just stay in "being stuck" and look if there is you, a separate self which is being stuck? or there is only a trial, a pull to understand That which cannot be understood, this aware presence, this aliveness.

There is a tension, an intention, a sense of impotence and frustration, the sensation of being behind the eyes intent on observing the direct experience.

Thanks a lot 🙂

[warissem]

Good evening

The sensation/conviction of being it remains

Does a sensation knows thoughts?
Is sensation aware?

There is a tension, an intention, a sense of impotence and frustration, the sensation of being behind the eyes intent on observing the direct experience.

Yes, notice that there is awareness of tension, intention, a sense of impotence and frustration. Notice that this sensation of being behind the eyes is arising in awareness.
This frustration is due to the fact that "what is here" cannot be grasped by thoughts. Awareness cannot be explained or described. Relax and be knowingly aware. Thoughts say : no,is so simple or it cannot be IT, nothing changes or I want more. Don't believe thoughts. SEE definitely that a thought cannot see, hear, smell or feel. It cannot think, cannot speak. Thoughts are like products of a computer. It tries to understand what is here through memories, accumulated knowledge. Sure this computer is frustrated because it cannot grasp this aware aliveness, this presence.
Is there a separate self, a seeker who is frustrated? LOOK.
Something which never existed cannot be found.

A I said in the previous post, don't make any effort to understand. Let go the impulse to understand. There is no goal to achieve, no attainment. All is here now in plain view.

Ponder deeply on what is said above. Look and don't think about it.

Waiting for your insights.

[Blu]

Hi Nour

Does a sensation knows thoughts?

No

Is sensation aware?

No

SEE definitely that a thought cannot see, hear, smell or feel. It cannot think, cannot speak

Yes, cannot nothing, only appear

Is there a separate self, a seeker who is frustrated? LOOK.

sometimes i see it. they are all stories of thought, again i get this expression.
but it goes away very suddenly and there is no magic formula to make it come back

Thank you❤️

[warissem]

Good evening

sometimes i see it. they are all stories of thought, again i get this expression.
but it goes away very suddenly and there is no magic formula to make it come back

Please, tell me what is seen?
What do you mean by "I get this expression"?
What is going away which you want to come back?

Express yourself as you are,

Best for you

[Blu]

Yes, I apologize, I expressed myself badly and the translator doesn't always help.
sometimes I see that they are all stories of thought that overlap with a reality that would be very simple.
this seeing that they are only stories of thought happens for very brief moments before the fog returns.

[warissem]

Good morning Sylvia

this seeing that they are only stories of thought happens for very brief moments before the fog returns

Yes. Notice what you said :" there is seeing that they are only stories of thoughts"
"Then the fog returns" : now is awareness of seeing stories different from awareness of seeing returning of fog?
Does awareness disappear when there is no clarity?

As I said in a previous post, there is a pull to understand with thoughts That which cannot be understood. Are you aware of these words on the screen? Yes. This awareness is ordinary, it is shining without any need of a you, an I, a separate self.

Thoughts, stories will continue to arise, don't fight them, don't try to stop them. Let them be here, look at them like babies wanting to be loved. Let them come, let them go. When thoughts are overwhelming, just put your attention on sensations.

Let me know about what is going on.

Nour

[Blu]

Hi Nour,

Then the fog returns" : now is awareness of seeing stories different from awareness of seeing returning of fog?

no, the light is both on the clarity and on the fog

Does awareness disappear when there is no clarity?

No

Today in the woods I had brief moments in which I no longer perceived the separation between me and what is there. I perceived such a great love for what was around me that it was almost unbearable. Then emotion and tears for everything that was there. Unfortunately it didn't last.
the thought comes and breaks the spell

it seems like I have to always look for new strategies to make happen an "opening"

Please can you tell me if what I experienced is just imagination?

Thanks!

[warissem]

Good evening

Today in the woods I had brief moments in which I no longer perceived the separation between me and what is there. I perceived such a great love for what was around me that it was almost unbearable. Then emotion and tears for everything that was there. Unfortunately it didn't last.
the thought comes and breaks the spell

it seems like I have to always look for new strategies to make happen an "opening"

Please can you tell me if what I experienced is just imagination?

No, it is not imagination. It is a beautiful experience but all experiences come and go. Notice that there is awareness of this experience where there is no you experiencing. There is no need to make effort to be aware. Awareness is not the experience. The experience arises in awareness, and fades in awareness. Don't chase experiences. Just be knowingly aware and continue to merge in nature.

What is arising as thoughts, sensations, feelings when you read this : there is no you, no separate self managing your life, there never was, it will never be.

Waiting for your insights

Nour

[Blu]

Nour, no reaction, I've read it so many times.. I can only notice two thoughts: one that doesn't think it's possible (I'M HERE..!) the other is of relief.. if it were ever true I would free myself from the burden of a wrong life

this morning I went back to the woods with the dogs and my mother.. we argued, no fusion with nature, just a lot of anger! I know that life happens and this event almost made me smile.. I expected peace and a storm manifested itself.
I also know that I was simply aware of a different scenario than what I was hoping for, but for now I have no intuitions

Thanks a lot