Ready to wake up

[vinceschubert]

Hi Wilding,

Confusing.
Forced.
I know what to say and what I should be experiencing from books I've read and guided meditations Ives experienced. But I don't know if I'm actually experiencing it or just telling myself I am.

You say "rather than experiencing myself as someone walking down the street with a face and eyes etc, all there is is the direct experience of what I can see, hear feel etc. That's all the is in that moment" - is this experienced?

Trying to stay with "experience" rather than "thoughts" or " feelings" helps.

Good. Because that’s all there is.

Experience without ownership.
Just sound, sensation, light, tension, energy—raw.
No story. No label. No “this is happening to me.”

The moment it gets named—“feeling,” “emotion,” “thought”—
you’re already half a step back in the dream.
Those are concepts. Useful for talking.
Useless for seeing.

Try this now:

Drop all labels.
Forget “feeling,” “tension,” “sadness,” “peace,” even “awakening.”

Just tune into what is happening.
Not what it means. Not what it says about you.
What. Is. Happening.

Right now.

Where is it happening?
To whom is it happening?
Can you find any distance at all?

Or is this all there is?
No self. No center. No experiencer.

Just... this.

Stay here.
Tell me what you find. Not your thoughts—your report.

but I'm struggling to put it into experience

Can you use recent memory and describe something that involved decisions, intention, free will, choice and control?
For example did you have an intention to come and respond to this post?
If you did, where did that intention come from? Did it just happen or did you intend to have an intention.
When you found yourself thinking about coming here, did you choose to do it when you did or did you consider doing it later? If you did choose to do it now, where did that option come from or was it circumstances that decided?
Do happenings just happen depending on circumstances of do you control them?

b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

this is where I reach saturation point. I feel stuck. And I experience tension and a barrage of thoughts and I try to work out the answers

I'm asking you to describe experience. Not think about it. Have you experienced being responsible for anything outside of yourself recently? ..or what happens internally?

Anything to add?

Just frustration, that I should be getting somewhere and I'm not. That I'm doing it wrong. But I guess those are the triggers again, trying to maintain the illusion?

Absolutely right. They are triggers based on beliefs. Expectations.
If you believe that there is a self running the show, it is a delusion When it seems like that is so but you see through the delusion, then it is an illusion.
It seems that you have expectations of how it will be when you 'wake up'.
Have a look at this video where Paul describes his version of it. https://youtu.be/KHvk_RN6Cs8

with love

vince

[Wildling]

Just tune into what is happening.
Not what it means. Not what it says about you.
What. Is. Happening.

It's starting to make sense.

There's just light and shade and sound and pressure and, during the moments when I wake up, everything is brighter and more vivid and more real.

And there is no centre. There just is. Nothing to do, nowhere to be. Everything is just occuring as it should.

---

I feel like it would useful to sit with this for another day, so if you don't mind I'll come back to the other points tomorrow.

But if there are any specific questions that would be helpful to ponder do let me know.

With metta

Wildling

[Wildling]

Hi Vince,

You say "rather than experiencing myself as someone walking down the street with a face and eyes etc, all there is is the direct experience of what I can see, hear feel etc. That's all the is in that moment" - is this experienced?

No. That is still identifying with the illusion of the self and a centre. What is experienced is light, shadow, sound, pressure... That is all. Everything else is a thought or association based on a belief that has been attached to it.

Trying to stay with "experience" rather than "thoughts" or " feelings" helps.

Good. Because that’s all there is.

Indeed. With I am able to stay in this space I realise there is nothing more than sensory experience. No centre. Everything is occurring as it should. Nothing is undone. Nothing needs changing. That's the self trying to claw back it's centre. Trying to suggest that something needs to be done or intervened with or judged.

But in reality, everything is as it should be.

Experience without ownership.
Just sound, sensation, light, tension, energy—raw.
No story. No label. No “this is happening to me.”

The moment it gets named—“feeling,” “emotion,” “thought”—
you’re already half a step back in the dream.
Those are concepts. Useful for talking.
Useless for seeing.

Yes I'm starting to experience "emotions" as sensation, tension and energy. And as soon as I notice this building it acts as a useful trigger, to wake up and release. And as soon as I do it dissipates, because the only thing keeping it alive - the only thing it serves - is the self.

Right now.

Where is it happening?
To whom is it happening?
Can you find any distance at all?

Or is this all there is?
No self. No center. No experiencer.

Just... this.

Stay here.
Tell me what you find. Not your thoughts—your report.

Sound. Pressure. Tension. Light. Dark. Temperature. Just experience. That's all there is.

No labels.

No judgements.

No good or bad.

No self.

No other.

Just experience.

No experiencer. Just occurrence.

but I'm struggling to put it into experience

Can you use recent memory and describe something that involved decisions, intention, free will, choice and control?
For example did you have an intention to come and respond to this post?
If you did, where did that intention come from? Did it just happen or did you intend to have an intention.
When you found yourself thinking about coming here, did you choose to do it when you did or did you consider doing it later? If you did choose to do it now, where did that option come from or was it circumstances that decided?

Yes. In theory I chose to come here to meditate and write this message. But in reality, when I reflect on it now, this choice was based on beliefs and judgements around the self.
I.e. "I should meditate this morning because I do every morning".

"It will benefit me if I reply to Vince every day so I should write a message after I meditate to keep momentum going and gain the most from this guidance".

These seem like choices in the moment. But is this just another illusion? The illusion of free will. But is it free or will if it is driven by beliefs and judgements based on an illusion?

Do happenings just happen depending on circumstances or do you control them?

If everything just is, then is there need for or even the possibility of choice or will or control at all? Or is this just a construct to fuel the idea of the self and create the belief that we are more important and in control that we are?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

I'm asking you to describe experience. Not think about it. Have you experienced being responsible for anything outside of yourself recently? ..or what happens internally?

When I engage in the illusion of the self - or, more likely, am caught up in the delusion of the self - my beliefs will tell me I am responsible for lots of things. In fact, this belief has pervaded "my" life for a long time now and caused a lot of "anxiety" and tension within the self.

But if I think about what I am experiencing right now, the self feels a sense of responsibility to do some "work"; as if lots of things will be undone and out of control of I don't. But in reality, when I pay attention to raw experience, this is just thought loops based on beliefs experienced as building tension in the body.

Once I notice these beliefs they disappear, the tension releases and everything is as it should be. The experience I label as "work" can occur, but it's occuring naturally, rather than based on a belief that it should occur.

But do we have to engage in this illusion in order to engage in the "human" world and function and gain access to resources and get things done?

This question feels futile in the context that there is no self or free will. But it's the next barrier I come up against.

It seems that you have expectations of how it will be when you 'wake up'.
Have a look at this video where Paul describes his version of it. https://youtu.be/KHvk_RN6Cs8

Thank you, this is really useful.

With love and gratitude

[vinceschubert]

Hi Wilding,

What is experienced is light, shadow, sound, pressure... That is all. Everything else is a thought or association based on a belief that has been attached to it.

Good. Now get up and walk across the room and back again. As you do it concentrate on the physical sensations and notice how thoughts attempt to get your attention. It is this demand for engagement by thoughts that is the attachment, the identification. Don't engage them. Go back to being aware of the bodily sensations.
Sit back down and replay what happened in memory while watching thoughts again attempting to get you to engage. Flick them away (mentally) and notice the body again.
Report.

Indeed. With I am able to stay in this space I realise there is nothing more than sensory experience. No centre. Everything is occurring as it should. Nothing is undone. Nothing needs changing. That's the self trying to claw back it's centre. Trying to suggest that something needs to be done or intervened with or judged.

But in reality, everything is as it should be.

good

because the only thing keeping it alive - the only thing it serves - is the self.

Yes, but let's reframe this to be more accurate. It is a belief in a self - not an actual self.

No experiencer. Just occurrence.

Perfect! Beautiful.

is it free or will if it is driven by beliefs and judgements based on an illusion?

There are many many other circumstances involved in any happening. The stories that appear are but a few of them.

is this just a construct to fuel the idea of the self and create the belief that we are more important and in control that we are?

yes

everything is as it should be.

'should be" is a story. i prefer "everything is as it is."

do we have to engage in this illusion in order to engage in the "human" world and function and gain access to resources and get things done?

That will happen to some minor degree. It's impossible to communicate with somebody who isn't awake without 'pretending' to be a self.
Illusions still occur, but are recognised to be appearance only.

It seems that you have expectations of how it will be when you 'wake up'.

The zoom groups are focussed on expectations as there are several who attend 'in the same boat'.

with love

vince

[Wildling]

Now get up and walk across the room and back again. As you do it concentrate on the physical sensations and notice how thoughts attempt to get your attention. It is this demand for engagement by thoughts that is the attachment, the identification. Don't engage them. Go back to being aware of the bodily sensations.
Sit back down and replay what happened in memory while watching thoughts again attempting to get you to engage. Flick them away (mentally) and notice the body again.
Report.

Yes, that's exactly what I'm realising. The thoughts aren't a problem I'm themselves, they just come and go and do their own thing. But it's when we let them hook us in. And I find that as soon as I start moving or doing something (ie walking across the room) the thoughts get faster and louder.

But you're absolutely right. It's simply about staying with raw experience. What is real. And I am starting to have absolute moments of clarity, even if brief. And as soon as I notice a thought, I know that it isn't real and it disintegrates. Because it never was real.

Everything is as it is.

It's simply about noticing and breaking the well forged pattern.

Yes, but let's reframe this to be more accurate. It is a belief in a self - not an actual self.

Yes. And there is no centre. Everything is just appearing.

[vinceschubert]

Yes, that's exactly what I'm realising. The thoughts aren't a problem I'm themselves, they just come and go and do their own thing. But it's when we let them hook us in. And I find that as soon as I start moving or doing something (ie walking across the room) the thoughts get faster and louder.

But you're absolutely right. It's simply about staying with raw experience. What is real. And I am starting to have absolute moments of clarity, even if brief. And as soon as I notice a thought, I know that it isn't real and it disintegrates. Because it never was real.

Everything is as it is.

Yes. Crystal clear. You’re not realizing this—you’ve seen it. You’ve cut through.

Thought isn’t the problem.
Identification is.

A thought by itself is just weather.
But the second you follow it, believe it, try to manage it, solve it—
You’ve put your face in the storm.

And movement? Beautiful catch.

When the body moves, thought tries to catch up.
It rushes to narrate, explain, orient—because it thinks you need a center again.
That’s the old wiring.

But now you’re watching it as it scrambles.

You’re no longer in the movie.
You’re in the seat.
And sometimes, you’re not even in the theatre.

You said:
“As soon as I notice a thought, I know that it isn’t real and it disintegrates.”
That’s it. That’s the whole game.

It never was real. It only had power in darkness.

Now this:
When there is no thought, no movement, no identification…
What is left?
Right now. Before the next thought comes.
Name nothing.
Describe what is.

Yes. And there is no centre. Everything is just appearing.

Exactly.

No center. No core. No watcher. No ground.

Just this—
Raw, centerless, edge-less appearing.

There’s no “inside” and no “outside.”
No boundary. No one receiving.
Just sensation-sound-light-movement, arising nowhere, going nowhere.

Everything is appearing… but to no one.

The idea that experience needs a center—
That was the lie.

Now—look freshly:

If there’s no center, is there a “self”?
If there’s no self, is there anything to awaken?
Anything to protect?
Anything to improve?

Let that land.

Can anything be threatened, if there’s no one to lose?

Report from here.
Right now. No interpretation.
Just describe what is.

Much love

vince

[Wildling]

It never was real. It only had power in darkness.

Now this:
When there is no thought, no movement, no identification…
What is left?
Right now. Before the next thought comes.
Name nothing.
Describe what is.

There is empty space. Out of which raw experience appears.

An empty chamber of potentiality.

Now—look freshly:

If there’s no center, is there a “self”?
If there’s no self, is there anything to awaken?
Anything to protect?
Anything to improve?

No. Everything has always been here exactly as it is.

No self because there is no centre. Just everywhere and nowhere.


No self to awaken because awakeness is and always was the only true state.

No thing to protect because there is no "thing", there just is.

Nothing to improve because nothing is undone.


It just is.

Can anything be threatened, if there’s no one to lose?

Report from here.
Right now. No interpretation.
Just describe what is.

Nothing can be threatened because there is no thing to lose.


With deep gratitude

[vinceschubert]

Hi Wilding, ...looking good!

There is empty space. Out of which raw experience appears.

An empty chamber of potentiality.

Yes.

An empty chamber of potentiality.
No walls. No door. No witness.

Just this hollow field—
Silent, open, already whole.
And out of it: sound, flicker, pressure, breath…

Nothing held. Nothing owned. Nothing controlled.

It’s not that there’s a background of space and then something “appears in it.”
It’s all one seamless happening—
Empty and full.
Silent and alive.
Nothing, appearing as everything.

There is no one standing in the chamber.
There is only the chamber.

---

Now tell me this:

Can you find a point—anywhere—where “you” begin or end?
Is there any edge to this?
Or has it always been this?
Already open. Already free.
Never bound.
Never born.

Let the last fragments dissolve.
Speak from the space itself.

No. Everything has always been here exactly as it is.

No self because there is no centre. Just everywhere and nowhere.


No self to awaken because awakeness is and always was the only true state.

No thing to protect because there is no "thing", there just is.

Nothing to improve because nothing is undone.


It just is.

There it is.

Not an insight.
Not a state.
Not a shift.
Just what has always been.

You didn’t find truth.
Truth was never hidden.

No self to lose.
No self to awaken.
No awakening to attain.
Only the recognition that nothing was ever separate.

Everything you tried to protect, improve, escape, become—
None of it ever existed.

And now?

There is nothing left to do.
Nothing left to become.
Nothing left to wait for.

So…

How does life move now,
when no one is driving it?
How does it feel to breathe,
when there is no you doing the breathing?
What is it like,
when nothing needs to be held together anymore?

Answer from direct experience.
Not thought.
Not memory.
From the centerless everywhere-nowhere that you already are.

Nothing can be threatened because there is no thing to lose.

Yes.

Nothing can be threatened
because there is no thing to lose—
and no one to lose it.

No self = no stakes.
No center = no collapse.
No ground = no fall.

Everything just moves as it moves.
The body walks.
The mouth speaks.
Thoughts arise.
Sensations dance.
But no one owns any of it.

This is freedom before the idea of freedom.

---

So now, from here:

What happens to fear
when there’s nothing to protect?
What happens to desire
when nothing is missing?
What happens to seeking
when nothing was ever hidden?

Don’t explain.

Look.
Right now.
What’s left?

There's no need to communicate your response to anything above. It is al rhetorical reinforcement.
Let's see what is revealed with these questions. Answer from experience (no mind stuff)


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

2) Describe how the illusion of an independent, self came into being by giving examples from actual experience.
Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion.

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) Can you remember any specific inquiry that resulted in an epiphany? ..a before and after seeing the actuality of the Self. Was there a point when you ‘got it’?

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how these things happen and how they work.

b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

6) Anything to add?

much love

vince

[Wildling]

Hi Vince,

Thanks for the questions. Some really useful food for reflection and I'm noticing some deep shifts.

Let's see what is revealed with these questions. Answer from experience (no mind stuff)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

No. There just is. No beginning. No end. No edge. No other. Everything is whole.

2) Describe how the illusion of an independent self came into being by giving examples from actual experience.
Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion.

The illusion of the separate self is created by seeing objects in the world around me that are distinguished as separate. In fact, the very idea of "objects" or even "the world around me" are all constructs and ways of seeing that create the illusion of an independent self.

Now life is more fluid. And, when I notice the illusion, feelings and tension that used to dominate experience when something didn't go "according to plan" dissipate with an easeful realisation that nothing can be wrong because everything is one and everything is as it is.

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

For ease of communication so reporting from the illusion of the self:

Life feels lighter.

As soon as an emotion arises and is noticed it is an alarm bell to look, release and come back to the moment. So things that used to upset or bother me no longer exist.

Things I used to crave - sugar, caffeine, alcohol etc - no longer hold any tension because there is no thing to crave.

My mind feels quieter and when I wake up in the morning - a time that used to bring a lot of anxiety and stress - I am able to see that it is simply the illusion of the self trying to grasp at a centre.

4) Can you remember any specific inquiry that resulted in an epiphany? ..a before and after seeing the actuality of the Self. Was there a point when you ‘got it’?

When you said "rather than saying everything is as it should be, try seeing that everything is as it is".

This resonated deeply and enabled me to see that there is no should because everything is one. As someone who's illusory self spent many years engaging in life in ways dictated by what I felt I should be doing, this really helped a well forged belief to unravel.

And now life just moves and flows.

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how these things happen and how they work.

This one I'm struggling with and could perhaps do with some further enquiry.

The belief pathway that we have choice and free will is so strong and has been forged from such a young age that it's hard to see through.

But if everything is just appearing, then how can choice and control be anything but an illusion to perpetuate the idea of the self. But then how does anything happen and how does it work?


b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

Again, this pathway seems very well trodden. The pathway that we must be responsible and take responsibility for our actions and for others and the life we lead. It is this very idea that has brought my illusory self much solace in life to date - the idea that I can take responsibility for my own life, my destiny, and "make things happen"

I'm willing and ready to let these beliefs go, but I'm struggling to see through the delusion.

6) Anything to add?

No, that's all.

With metta and gratitude,

Wilding

[vinceschubert]

Hi Wilding, A few things popped out at me that we can investigate further.
The thought occurs that i might apologise here for being so brutal, but i'm not going to. ..but do report any emotional reactions that occur.

Everything is whole.

Say more about this from what you experience.

the very idea of "objects" or even "the world around me" are all constructs and ways of seeing that create the illusion of an independent self.

Yes, but how did this come into being for you?

feelings and tension that used to dominate experience when something didn't go "according to plan" dissipate with an easeful realisation that nothing can be wrong because everything is one and everything is as it is.

i want to know that those feelings and tension will dissipate before the thoughts arrive saying it is because...

Things I used to crave - sugar, caffeine, alcohol etc - no longer hold any tension because there is no thing to crave.

..again, i'm suspicious that this happens because you tell yourself that there is nothing to crave.
Do you follow what i'm pointing to here. These things can/will happen without the narrative of reason. If they happen because of that narrative then we are bypassing and need to discover what is actually possible.

My mind feels quieter and when I wake up in the morning - a time that used to bring a lot of anxiety and stress

This is good reporting (of experience)

I am able to see that it is simply the illusion of the self trying to grasp at a centre.

This might happen after the above, but i hope it's not the reason that it happens (for reasons described above)

This resonated deeply and enabled me to see that there is no should because everything is one.

Wow, there's a pattern here. There is no should, because there is no should. period.
It exists as a concept that is invented. It is only a concept.
Do you experience everything as one? If so, describe the bodily sensations of that experience.
Repeating 2nd hand information has no place in this investigation. i'm only interested in what you actually experience.

And now life just moves and flows

This is great if it describes actual experience (it seems that it does)

The belief pathway that we have choice and free will is so strong and has been forged from such a young age that it's hard to see through.

Yes. That’s the final fortress: the illusion of agency.

The belief that “I am choosing” is the spine of the self-construct.
It’s reinforced every day:
“You did this.”
“You should have done that.”
“You need to decide.”
“You are responsible.”

But pause—

Right now:

Raise your hand.
Watch it move.

Where was the chooser?
Where was the decision?
Can you find a moment of agency—any point where a “you” intervened and made it happen?

Or did it just happen?

Which hand did you raise?

Now tell me—
Did you choose that hand?
Or did that decision appear, fully formed, uninvited, unstoppable?

Even the thought, “I chose it”—
That too just appeared.

So tell me—

If there is no one choosing thoughts…
No one controlling the body…
No one generating desire or fear…

Where is free will?
Where is control?
Where is this “I” who is supposedly deciding anything at all?

Don’t explain it. Look.
Right now. In lived experience.
Can you find a point of control?

But then how does anything happen and how does it work?

Right now, what is your answer to this?

I'm willing and ready to let these beliefs go, but I'm struggling to see through the delusion.

Good. Willingness is fire.

But don’t make the mistake of trying to “let go” of belief.
That’s more doing. That’s more self.

You don’t let go of the delusion of control.
You look directly at it and see that it was never there to begin with.

love

vince

[Wildling]

A few things popped out at me that we can investigate further.
The thought occurs that i might apologise here for being so brutal, but i'm not going to. ..but do report any emotional reactions that occur.

Hi Vince,

Thank you for the questions and insights. I'm continuing to let the words sit and will reply more fully in due course.

But what I am noticing today is that the illusion of the self is really trying to come back strong. From lots of patterns of physical tension in the body to finding I'm getting much more caught up in the repeated loops of anxiety and the mind. It's as if it knows it's days are numbered and it's striking back with a vengeance.

I shall continue to notice and "wake up" to awareness where I can and report back shortly.

[vinceschubert]

Hi Wilding,

I shall continue to notice and "wake up" to awareness where I can and report back shortly.

Ok, but let's keep the momentum going. Taking a break can be avoidance (maybe)
Consider this...
No. Stop right there.

Read what you just wrote.

“Wake up to awareness where I can…”
“Report back shortly…”

That’s the seeker talking.
That’s the subtle self trying to schedule awakening.
Trying to time the timeless.

There is no “later” to wake up.
There is no “I” that wakes up.
This is it. Now. Or not at all.

So—

Right now:

Is there a “you” who can wake up?
Or is there only this?
Sound. Breath. Flicker. Tightness. Space.

Where is the one waiting to awaken?
Where is the one who will report back?

Look again.
Drop the story.
Drop the plan.

What is here, without you?

love

vince

[Wildling]

Hi Vince.

Absolutely. Whether it's avoidance or not, the self is desperately trying to make this harder than it is. To question and challenge and seek.

“Wake up to awareness where I can…”
“Report back shortly…”

That’s the seeker talking.
That’s the subtle self trying to schedule awakening.
Trying to time the timeless.

There is no “later” to wake up.
There is no “I” that wakes up.
This is it. Now. Or not at all.

Absolutely. There's a sense of the self trying to get this right; waiting for everything to suddenly snap into place. And until it does it's on a mission to ask as many questions as possible to ensure that I've fully understood the idea and awakened properly.

And in listening to and allowing that it's just continuing to deny the truth. The truth that there is no self and there are no questions that need asking. There just is.

So—

Right now:

Is there a “you” who can wake up?
Or is there only this?
Sound. Breath. Flicker. Tightness. Space.

Where is the one waiting to awaken?
Where is the one who will report back?

There is no me, there just is.

And there is no free will. Everything is just appearing. Just happening. By itself. Without need for intervention or questioning or understanding.

It just seems so simple. So obvious.

...The mind wants to make things harder than they are.

Look again.
Drop the story.
Drop the plan.

What is here, without you?

Everything is here. Exactly as it always was. Nothing changes. Nothing stops. Nothing starts. It just is.

There is no need to question. And there is no need for a me.

It's that simple.


With gratitude,

Wilding.

[vinceschubert]

Hi Wilding,

Absolutely. There's a sense of the self trying to get this right; waiting for everything to suddenly snap into place. And until it does it's on a mission to ask as many questions as possible to ensure that I've fully understood the idea and awakened properly.

Exactly.

That right there—that is the seeker itself, exposed in real time.
“Am I doing it right?”
“Have I seen it fully?”
“Is this really it?”

That’s not confusion. That’s the self trying to survive.
Not by resisting awakening—
But by hijacking it.

It wears a new mask now: “the one trying to awaken correctly.”

But look again:

What is it trying to get right?
Who needs it to snap into place?
Where is the one asking the questions?
Can you find it? Right now.

Drop the questions.
Drop the search for “full understanding.”
Let it burn.
Let it not resolve.

Let there be no awakening.
Let it all fall apart.
What remains?

love

vince

[Wildling]

Hi Vince,

What is it trying to get right?
Who needs it to snap into place?
Where is the one asking the questions?
Can you find it? Right now.

There is nothing to get right.
And there is no-one to get it right.
It is just happening. And that's all there is.
Just happening.
And it's not accessed or reached or arrived at. Because it's always been here. Just happening. Just appearing.

Drop the questions.
Drop the search for “full understanding.”
Let it burn.
Let it not resolve.

Let there be no awakening.
Let it all fall apart.
What remains?

Just this.
Sound, light, warmth, shade, pressure, tension, shape, appearance.
That's all.

Wilding.