Seeking a guide for awakening

[erincanada]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
By "no self", I understand that the subject/object division will collapse and I will live in the forever now. I've been inspired by Adyashanti and Gary Weber, as well as the traditional buddhist path.

What are you looking for at LU?
I would like to find a guide to support my awakening. I have been practicing Vipassana for many years and recently found the teachings of nonduality. My life's goal is to awaken from the illusion of a separate self. I continue to do self-inquiry and meditation, but would appreciate the direct pointing from a guide.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I would like to experience direct pointing at reality since the ego and thoughts are so subtle. At times I have felt close to awakening but pulled back. Or was distracted. I believe a guide to challenge my beliefs would be an accelerant to the process.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
As above, I have been a meditator for over 25 years. I recently found non duality and have been practicing inquiry. I take 2-3 silent retreats per year and seem to have been a born seeker :) Currently, I meditate 2-3x per day and try to point my attention back toward the self periodically throughout the day. These nondual practices are newer for me but I've been practicing since 2024.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 11

[warissem]

Good morning

I would like to help you see through the illusion of a separate self. Before going on :

Read the disclaimer text https://www.liberationunleashed.com/reg ... isclaimer/
Learn how to use the quote function https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=-fAToDNh9hQ
Leave aside all stuff about spirituality and non duality during our dialog
Be 100% honest when giving your answers to my questions.

You have said this :

By "no self", I understand that the subject/object division will collapse and I will live in the forever now.

Are you living outside of now?

You have done a lot of practice and you are familiar with vipassana. I have nothing to show you about LOOKING AT Direct experience (seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching or sensations). I suppose that you can differentiate between what is here in direct experience and the thought stories, concepts, memories, mental images, etc ... You think about the collapse of the subject/object division : is there really a division in direct experience between the experience and the knowing (being aware) of it ? Don't give an answer through the mind, open your eyes and LOOK AT the experience.

There is the concept "subject" : do you see it? do you hear it? does it speak or move?
There is the concept "object" : do you see it? do you hear it? does it speak or move?

Do you see a subject in direct experience?
Do you see an object in direct experience?

Waiting for your insights.

Nour

[erincanada]

Do you see a subject in direct experience?
Do you see an object in direct experience?

Hello Nour -
thank you for your reply - I truly appreciate the support in this process.

I took a couple of days to do some inquiry with your questions. There is no 'subject' or 'me' in direct experience. I am able to get to a thoughtless space in meditation and there is just sounds, sensations, etc. When I ask, "where am I?" or "what am I?" there is no conceptual answer - just presence. Lately I hear a constant low-level ringing - it's almost like the backdrop or context of all other sounds. It doesn't bother me but it helps me stay present.

I can't get a sense of the second question apart from an intellectual understanding so far.

As a side note, there are some professional and financial worries in my life currently, and when I catch myself thinking about the future, I ask, "is there a problem in my experience right now?" I also try to see who's looking whenvever I'm walking outside.

Thank you again -
Erin

[warissem]

Good evening

I took a couple of days to do some inquiry with your questions. There is no 'subject' or 'me' in direct experience.

yes, great to see this.

I am able to get to a thoughtless space in meditation and there is just sounds, sensations, etc. When I ask, "where am I?" or "what am I?" there is no conceptual answer - just presence. Lately I hear a constant low-level ringing - it's almost like the backdrop or context of all other sounds. It doesn't bother me but it helps me stay present.

Is there a you asking "where am I" or is it just thought arising?
Is there an entity, a separate self behind the "I" asking?

I can't get a sense of the second question apart from an intellectual understanding so far.
Here is an exercise, I wish it will help to see what I mean :

Have a look at an apple. If you have a ‘real’ apple, you can use it for this exercise.

When looking at an apple, there's colour; a thought saying ‘apple’; and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple."
What is known for sure? Colour is known and thoughts are known.

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?
Actual experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just more thought. Actual experience is sound, thought, colour, smell, taste, sensation.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only colour and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?
Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in actual experience.

This is what is meant by ‘looking in actual experience ‘. What you know for sure, and, is always here.

Taste labelled ‘apple’ is known
Colour labelled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labelled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labelled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known
However, is an apple actually known?

As a side note, there are some professional and financial worries in my life currently, and when I catch myself thinking about the future, I ask, "is there a problem in my experience right now?" I also try to see who's looking whenvever I'm walking outside.

Life is going on with ups and downs. I wish the best for you. Yes, it is helpful to look at what is going on and see for yourself that there is no you, no separate self needed for things to happen. I invite you to read the book Gataless Gate crashers present on this forum.

Thank you again -

you are much welcome

Nour