a request for guidance

[yeaabuoy]

Hello; yes, you shared these videos with me before and I appreciate them.

It is hard for me to examine some of these beliefs but I do understand that arguing with reality is pointless. There is still suffering and doubt in my current situation. On the one hand, suffering and doubt are here in reality but on the other, I want to deal with them skillfully (which feels a bit like "seeking" or trying to solve something) and the desire to one day escape suffering and doubt are also here.

When I feel confused or frustrated, I try to notice the thoughts I am engaged with in the present moment and identify that they are passing thoughts and not "me." This often redirects attention to the present experience and then when I look for the "me" it sometimes feels like this undefined awareness/attention is finding itself -- with no limited, defined thought-based self that I had previously taken myself to be. But the experience is often short-lived and fragile. Even getting out of my bed and seeing a messy living room or even a thought about something I need to do later in the day leads back to reflexive judgment, doubt, and suffering. Like you said, it comes and goes.

[Anastacia42]

Okay.

Doubt and suffering are nothing more than thoughts.

The Work of Byron Katie is designed to question those. It is very simple. I suggest you try it.

https://thework.com/instruction-the-work-byron-katie/

That one link guides you through it. I find other methods less specific and kind of messy.

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Do you still want to be guided?

[yeaabuoy]

I am open to it but not sure the best way to go about it.
I read through the Byron Katie book you recommended. It was helpful and I am now reading through it again a second time. Many of the issues the book talks about including seeking approval, self-worth, co-dependence, are ones that are really salient to what's happening in my life right now.

I am moving out of my house into an apartment in early February, so I may have some more time/space to really do some inquiry at that time.

[Anastacia42]

Okay. Practice when you can, what you can. Post what is seen when you can.

Let me know when you have the space to keep going. ButtChair is a great pointer you can do anywhere. I think I sent it already, but just in case:


This is the only pointer Ilona gave me when I was guided here. i practiced this for about 3 months. I call it:

ButtChair

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?


It is simple direct & nonverbal. Just LOOK.

Then write what is true.

Loving,

[yeaabuoy]

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?


It is simple direct & nonverbal. Just LOOK.

Then write what is true.

There is only the sensation with no division. Just one sensation in the same awareness of the sensation of back+chair and fingertips touching.

I am not sure how to practice this for any prolonged period of time, as the fact that it is one sensation feels quite obvious. Is there something I am overlooking or do you think there is value in sitting and continuing to examine this one sensation at length?

Sorry for the delay in my reply. Things have been a bit hectic, as I am preparing to move out of the house at the end of next week.

[Anastacia42]

Good luck with the move and all.

Thinking is not required.

You do not need to "sit and examine at length." Just enough. Daily is good. How long is up to you.

Practice when you can. At some point, you will experience a noticeable shift in perception. It may be gradual or it may hit like a ton of bricks. That is waking up. It may happen when you are not practicing.

Relax!

Do not try to force anything with more or longer looking. No self is already the truth. You just need to notice it. That really only takes a moment. All this practice is just to help you to notice. Once you do, it's like knowing that Santa Claus is a man in a red suit - you know it and that's it.

After that, you will need to examine your thinking to align it with this fact that there is no self. The Work of Byron Katie will be good for that. You can ask, "is it true?" Or you can go through the whole process to get it more thoroughly.

Loving,

[yeaabuoy]

Hi Stacy;

I just wanted to check in with you. I have moved out of my family home and into an apartment. I have ready the Byron Katie books you recommended and did find them helpful. Though I don't regularly find time to do "The Work," I often reflect on the principles from "I need your love: is that true?" -- particularly the value of authenticity and examining our expectations about getting what we want.

I feel intellectually/conceptually convinced that there cannot be a separate self. All of our experiences are the result of causes and conditions that are beyond our control, so there cannot be a separate "decision maker" using a distinct personal will to make decisions and influence reality. While I am convinced of this conceptually/intellectually, it doesn't seem to have sunk in on an experiential level, as I still have the experience of free will and will often worry about making "the right choices" for the future. Similarly, there is still quite a bit of seeking energy, trying to find the "right" practice and approach to deeper insight, which has led me back here.

Any thoughts or guidance on how to proceed?

Thanks,
Ray

[Anastacia42]

Hi Ray!

Welcome back. Congratulations on your move. I hope that is good for you.

We are watching for a shift in perception & an end to seeking, so let's continue.

Buttchair & the Dropbox pointers may be best right now, but you can repeat any of them. Apple might also be a good review.


ButtChair

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?

It is simple direct & nonverbal. Just LOOK.

Then write what is true in Direct Experience.

Loving,

[yeaabuoy]

ButtChair

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?

It is simple direct & nonverbal. Just LOOK.

Then write what is true in Direct Experience.

There is no clear dividing line between them. There is only the sensation with no clear division.

[Anastacia42]

Good. How does it FEEL to see this?

Loving,

[yeaabuoy]

It feels neutral, simple. Nothing special.

[Anastacia42]

viewtopic.php?t=9740#p399214
Review the truth lie sensations.

You had trouble and some doubts about that but it's very important to notice sensations and how they shift.

We're looking for a shift in perception.

Have you read any of Gateless Gatecrasher for examples?

Loving

[yeaabuoy]

I am a little more sensitive to a dense sensation in the gut/solar plexus when I look for it. I don't find it so much as a reaction to lies, but it is an overall feeling of discomfort and unease that seems related to thoughts. I read Gateless Gatecrashers a few months ago but I don't recall it well now.

[Anastacia42]

Okay.

Read any 3 stories from Gateless Gatecrashersand find the point where the client reports a shift in perception.

Send me 3 examples of a shift in perception.

Loving