What am I really?

[Brooklyn]

Thanks for your message Stacy

[Anastacia42]

Brooklyn,. one of the admins suggested you read some threads here, find a guide or two you like & PM them asking if they're free to help.

Loving,

[Brooklyn]

Thanks Stacy, will do. Happy holidays x

[Anastacia42]

Happy holidays!

[LilaLila]

Happy holidays!

Can you guide me? .. I did some of the exercises above and I am finding them helpful.

[Anastacia42]

Brooklyn I've replied to Lila & advised her not to post on your thread.

Sorry!

[Anastacia42]

Good morning Brooklyn

I'm sorry another guide hasn't picked up your thread.

This morning it occurred to me to share this link to my DropBox which has about a dozen pointers you can try on your own. I'll be here if you want to ask me anything.

These are a bit different than the ones we've gone through so far.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/k1ph01pt ... fd97v&dl=0

Be sure to listen to the Introduction.

Good luck with these if you try them!

[davjak]

Hello Brooklyn,
My name is David, and I'd be happy to take up your inquiry with you.
Please let me know.
Thanks,
David

[Brooklyn]

Dear David, thanks for your email. Unfortunately I cannot see the post you mentioned in your email on my thread but I'll reply anyway...

I very much resonate with number 1) 'taking non-self things to be what you are'. Even though it is clear to me that I do not choose my thoughts, they simply arise like all phenomenon, I still seem to be captivated by them and hold beliefs that they are me. I am unable to simply watch them arise and not get sucked into them. The body is even more tricky and I believe that it is me. During self inquiry with eyes closed the belief that the body/mind is me disappears and I have no idea what I am or where I am - I only know that I am. However when the inquiry ends I contract back into believing I am this bodymind. I feel that I am located inside the body, looking out into a world that is separate from me. Should I spend more and more time in the inquiry mentioned above until it becomes crystal clear that I am not the bodymind?

[davjak]

Hey Brooklyn, ah, now I see what you are saying. I hadn't posted the email here ans was referring to my initial post. No worries though, your comments show that you're looking with intensity and honesty and making a very observant assessment. So this is great.

Let's start by looking here:

"Even though it is clear to me that I do not choose my thoughts, they simply arise like all phenomenon, I still seem to be captivated by them and hold beliefs that they are me."

There are two implications here, both of which cannot be the case. If thought is seen to arise like all other empty, conditioned phenomena, such as the weather, then it cannot at the same time be the meaningful narration of a separate, autonomous intelligence. It can't be a separate self. We have to come down on one side or the other. Are thoughts empty and uncontrolled like all other phenomena or are they intelligent narration with an in-dwelling being as its source? It's one or the other.

So you have an insight that thought is uncontrolled, but below the surface, outside your conscious view, you're unconvinced, and you take thought narratives for what you are. The bottom line is that what thoughts say is being believed, so this is where we need to look. How can we come to see thought for the inert, wandering, symbolic data stream that it is? Belief is the magic ingredient that animates it all. It has to be there for a spell to be cast by thinking. And how do we get under that to undermine the belief?

Should I spend more and more time in the inquiry mentioned above until it becomes crystal clear that I am not the bodymind?

A better way will be to develop wise discernment and skill in subtle noticing. When beliefs are conclusively found to be untrue, they will fade away.

You say: "During self inquiry with eyes closed the belief that the body/mind is me disappears and I have no idea what I am or where I am - I only know that I am."

How about boundaries, size and shape, location? Even when you open your eyes, where are you located? Can you stand in front of a large, well lit mirror and tell we where your thoughts are appearing? Are they out in the room or connected to/ inside the image/color? Where is your experience happening?

In noticing simple, ordinary experience, can you experientially get a feel for the difference between being Brooklyn vs. being the witnessing of Brooklyn? Or, does that seem confusing?

[Brooklyn]

Are thoughts empty and uncontrolled like all other phenomena or are they intelligent narration with an in-dwelling being as its source?

Yes, thoughts are uncontrolled like all phenomena

How can we come to see thought for the inert, wandering, symbolic data stream that it is?

Development of wise discernment and skill in subtle noticing sounds good... I hope you can help in this regard.

How about boundaries, size and shape, location? Even when you open your eyes, where are you located?

It seems that I, (whatever I is referring to), is the body.

Can you stand in front of a large, well lit mirror and tell we where your thoughts are appearing?

No.

Are they out in the room or connected to/ inside the image/color?

No

Where is your experience happening?

I don't know.

In noticing simple, ordinary experience, can you experientially get a feel for the difference between being Brooklyn vs. being the witnessing of Brooklyn? Or, does that seem confusing?

Right now I feel that I am Brooklyn, not the witness of Brooklyn.

[davjak]

Right now I feel that I am Brooklyn, not the witness of Brooklyn.

Very good that you are clear on this. So, how does it feel to be Brooklyn?

How do you feel about a simple and deep acceptance of the way things are, recognizing that it is the inescapable here and now? What do you notice in yourself when you consider a recognition that there is only THIS, however it is? How do you feel about just letting go into it, deeply, as in REALLY letting go into just the way things are now?

Development of wise discernment and skill in subtle noticing sounds good... I hope you can help in this regard.

Acceptance. Investigation. Noticing. Surrender. I will hold your hand if you need it!

It seems that I, (whatever I is referring to), is the body..

And how does that feel? Do you feel OK and safe, as the body? If there is tension, fear, worry, grasping, can you remove those labels and look at the sensations themselves? What are the actual sensations that are indicating 'body'? Do you have any trouble getting close to them and being with them; is there any resistance?

I don't know.

Great answers and a kindness to yourself! You don't have to know!

[davjak]

A few more questions:
What about thought volume? Do thoughts race and feel like they are crowding in? Do you have little awakenings out of what felt like an entranced state of thought absorption? If so, how does that feel?

Is there a running conversation or commentary happening? If you are feeling like Brooklyn, can't you simply notice that? If you notice the one feeling like Brooklyn, then right there, you are NOT identified AS Brooklyn. Sorry, I know you don't like a lot of questions! Feel free to pick and choose.