Stream Entry

[Nicholas]

let's take a break. will let you know in this thread once I'm back and ready and refreshed. I'm exhausted right now...

thanks for the guidance so far.

I don't know what will happen in the future

take care!

[Alless]

Thank you for letting me know Nicholas,

Taking a break resonates here too.

If you come back to the thread and for some reason I do not catch it and respond, just message admin and they will wake me up 😊

All the best

With love


Alan

[Nicholas]

Hello Alan!

I'm back, ready to tackle and finish this.

Almost 2 months later...

I will wait for your instructions.

Take care

[Alless]

Hello Nicholas,

Good to see your message !!

Tell me about what has changed since we last were in touch. I'd love to hear.

With love


Alan

[Nicholas]

Hello Alan, happy to see your quick response.
What changed? Well, I rested. That's it.
I'm motivated again, VERY motivated to complete this "phase" of discovery.

And also, I'm more aware of which answers come from the mind, and which not. (MOST of them come from the mind)

So... HIT ME! give me your best exercise.

With love,
Mariano

[Alless]

So lovely to feel the "fire" in your message Mariano

Well, I rested. That's it.

Beautiful !

So... HIT ME! give me your best exercise.

Ah ha !! We don't have to go look for an exercise. It's right here ! What you are pointing to is more than enough !!!
Tell all you can about the ME that wants to be hit.
What is this ME you are writing about?




How will you know it has been hit?




Has this ME been hit before and what does it feel like?




Where is it? (I need to know what to aim at)




What else can you say about it?





With love


Alan

[Nicholas]

Tell all you can about the ME that wants to be hit.
What is this ME you are writing about?

ah you got me. I don’t know. Seems to be a habit. A belief.

The word ME seems to have a lot of weight every time I say it in my mind.

Uuuh I tried touching that weight and I started crying a little.

There’s obviously a difference between the thought “banana” and the thought “me”. It seems that the “me” thought generates some sensation in the body, maybe in the stomach.

How will you know it has been hit?

I don’t know.

Has this ME been hit before and what does it feel like?

I don’t think so

Where is it? (I need to know what to aim at)

hum… for some reason “me” is heavier than “I”.
Regarding the answer, I don’t know. I don’t want to answer from the mind.

What else can you say about it?

“me” has weight but I have trouble sensing that weight. It’s there but hard to “touch”.
Also it seems it doesn’t want to be disturbed

[Alless]

Hello Mariano

Seems to be a habit. A belief.

Both are true. This is a habit learned from a very young age. And we are so convinced that is is true by our interpretation of what we experience that it becomes an unquestioned belief.

The word ME seems to have a lot of weight every time I say it in my mind.

This is really important that you have noticed this.
It takes energy to keep beliefs intact. They actually drain our energy. This is why they feel like a weight.
As you go through the day is this weight always there?




Are there times that you feel "lighter?" If so, can you see what the difference is in experience? What is happening your thoughts?

Also it seems it doesn’t want to be disturbed

You're right ! And more than that the "me" has in inherent defense that it doesn't want to be exposed or in any way threatened. Rest assured there is nothing to get rid of here. All that we're doing is finding out the truth about this that we call "me"

Uuuh I tried touching that weight and I started crying a little.

This is beautiful. Attend to it like you would attend to a frightened little child. Reassure it. Be as gentle and as tender as you possibly can.
Let me know what happens




With love


Alan

[Nicholas]

As you go through the day is this weight always there?

ALWAYS

Are there times that you feel "lighter?" If so, can you see what the difference is in experience? What is happening your thoughts?

nop, never. The weight/clench is always there. Only thing that can happen is: I can get distracted

Let me know what happens

Words me, mine, mariano, I… they evoke a tight feeling that goes from the stomach to the throat.
What do I do with it? Observe? Evoke it over and over?

[Alless]

What you describe is so understandable Mariano

Words me, mine, mariano, I… they evoke a tight feeling that goes from the stomach to the throat.

Now tell me how you feel about this weight and the tight feeling the words me, mine, mariano, I evoke

On a scale of 1 to 10 how uncomfortable are these sensations?



Is this something you are willing to have stay?



Or is there a feeling of "I don't want these?"




And finally can a "me" actually be found in these sensations of tightness or the feeling of weight?




With love


Alan

[Nicholas]

On a scale of 1 to 10 how uncomfortable are these sensations?

3

Is this something you are willing to have stay?

yes

Or is there a feeling of "I don't want these?"

a bit uncomfortable, but not enough.

And finally can a "me" actually be found in these sensations of tightness or the feeling of weight?

No! there’s no “me” neither in senses or in the mind. Because the mind is just several thoughts and thoughts in itself are sort of… stimulus. Nothing more.

However, yes, in thoughts, the content and the structure of the content point to a “me”. But it’s just content… and structure.

I’m going to evoke those feelings for several minutes and see what else I find.

…

So obviously, the word “banana” doesn’t evoke ANYTHING. Even if I try to force it
However… words like “me, mine, I, Mariano” they wake up a slight sense of discomfort in that area. So I can place my focus there as long as I keep repeating those words.

Seems that the word “mine” is stronger than the others.

Most importantly… I have this resistance… IN THE BODY… when doing all of these exercises.

It’s a restlesness. I can’t focus long enough because my body/mind say: “NO, I don’t care about this, please stop! Distract yourself with other things”

It’s a clench in the stomach, in the heart. Right to the throat.
A heaviness in the eyes, head…

Couple tears rolled down…

Mmhmm…

[Alless]

Mariano,

However, yes, in thoughts, the content and the structure of the content point to a “me”. But it’s just content… and structure.

What happens if you don't believe the content?



Once you've recognized that the content of this thought is about "me" if you don't pay any attention to it, can it actually do anything to disturb or hurt you?



Can you simply relax and watch this "me" thought come and go like a wisp of smoke? Tell me what happens as you do that?

Most importantly… I have this resistance… IN THE BODY… when doing all of these exercises.

You have noticed something very important - this resistance, this reaction of the body which is basically saying "NO !"
Is this resistance basically an objection to what is already happening? Is it an "I don't want this" type of feeling?

However… words like “me, mine, I, Mariano” they wake up a slight sense of discomfort in that area. So I can place my focus there as long as I keep repeating those words.

Keep repeating those words and tell me .....is that sensation actually DIRECTLY connected to those words?




Are the words and the sensation experienced in exactly the "same place"




Do the words actually produce the sensation?



Does the sensation produce the words?




Again like above, say the words without adding any meaning to them and let them pass like a wisp of smoke. What is experienced?




With love


Alan

[Nicholas]

What happens if you don't believe the content?

Excellent question! How do you do that?

Once you've recognized that the content of this thought is about "me" if you don't pay any attention to it, can it actually do anything to disturb or hurt you?

oooh that’s super interesting! I sort of get the point that… I don’t even have to look at the mind. (well not exactly)
This is a very weird (in a good sense) question because for a moment, the mind just became NOISE, like the sounds in the environment, or the visuals in my sight. Just another stimulus with no relevance whatsoever.
I think this right here is a REALLY interesting exercise. But it DOES need a focus and certain “state of mind” to achieve it.
Going to write this down and put it to practice.

(ah I lost it, I tried it a couple times but couldn’t replicate this)

Can you simply relax and watch this "me" thought come and go like a wisp of smoke? Tell me what happens as you do that?

I can't, I get strong resistance

Most importantly… I have this resistance… IN THE BODY… when doing all of these exercises.

You have noticed something very important - this resistance, this reaction of the body which is basically saying "NO !"
Is this resistance basically an objection to what is already happening? Is it an "I don't want this" type of feeling?

It seems so

However… words like “me, mine, I, Mariano” they wake up a slight sense of discomfort in that area. So I can place my focus there as long as I keep repeating those words.

Keep repeating those words and tell me .....is that sensation actually DIRECTLY connected to those words?

well, they appear only if the words are invoked.
Mmmhm
But, no… they are not connected (not sure why)

Are the words and the sensation experienced in exactly the "same place"

I don’t know. I get answers from the mind, but they are not valid.

Do the words actually produce the sensation?

it seems so, cause and effect

Does the sensation produce the words?

no

Again like above, say the words without adding any meaning to them and let them pass like a wisp of smoke. What is experienced?

My body temperature raises. Does this make any sense?

[Alless]

Some good stuff here Mariano !!

Excellent question! How do you do that?

Consider thoughts being like an advertisement. I'm suspect you will recognize the type ......the advertisement that is trying to lure you in to buy something. It might go something like this......

"Buy this and you will be so happy !! Never feel sad again. Only 2 left ! Do not miss out !!"

On one hand it's tempting but on the other you can feel it is shallow and in no way will satisfy or fulfill you. So you see it but don't respond to it. That is one way to come at handling thoughts.

oooh that’s super interesting! I sort of get the point that… I don’t even have to look at the mind. (well not exactly)
This is a very weird (in a good sense) question because for a moment, the mind just became NOISE, like the sounds in the environment, or the visuals in my sight. Just another stimulus with no relevance whatsoever.
I think this right here is a REALLY interesting exercise. But it DOES need a focus and certain “state of mind” to achieve it.
Going to write this down and put it to practice.

This is good Nicholas. Especially that it arouses real interest.

Just do your best to do what you've suggested here. And yes, at first it can be frustrating however take it in small bursts and see if the thoughts don't slow down a little. You may find that there is a persistent thought "I can't do this" Guess what? That is just another thought. Don't believe it !! Just recognize it as such. Just recognize thought after thought after thought and don't believe (agree or condemn them) in any way and see what happens.
Let me know how you go




I could suggest other things but at the moment give this a really good try and we'll take this bit by bit. Give yourself a chance to really see what thoughts are saying.

With love


Alan

[Nicholas]

Basically I need to shut up. Any comments about what’s happening will also be thoughts. I just need to silently observe. I hope I’m not “censoring” my own thoughts with this. It’s just… I have the urge to “comment” and then I STOP, because that’s basically “falling into the thought stream” once again.

I’m not censoring thoughts however, JUST monologue, which is the “primary” speaker.

Also the music, I tell it to stop, because it sort of is monologue too in essence.

Below this, it’s the third layer. The whirlwind of unformed thoughts… those don’t need to be censored, they can be observed passively.

Is this it? Is this correct? Because… I CAN DO THIS… it seems!