Beautiful Joshua :)
Happy to hear the good movement on several levels.
And makes me smile to hear of your connection to Patti 🤍
Look forward to talk to you when you feel it's time.
Feel free also to report here and ask questions.
Love
Hello!-JoshO
Re: Hello!-JoshO
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: Hello!-JoshO
Dear Elad -
Good morning to you (I guess it's only morning here, but you understand). Good Day then!
Allow me to begin with today's reading from Richard Rohr, which is how I complete morning practice these days:
"From the Center for Action and Contemplation
Week Twenty-One: Life in the Spirit
A Living Spirituality
Brian McLaren reflects on the Holy Spirit’s work in the early church and today:
Following Jesus today has much in common with the original disciples’ experience…. But there is an obvious and major difference between our experience and theirs: they could see Jesus and we can’t. Surprisingly, according to John’s Gospel, that gives us an advantage. “It’s better that I go away so the Spirit can come,” Jesus said [John 16:7]. If he were physically present and visible, our focus would be on Christ over there, right there, out there … but because of his absence, we discover the Spirit of Christ right here, in here, within….
At the core of Jesus’ life and message, then, was this good news: the Spirit of God, the Spirit of aliveness, the Wind-breath-fire-cloud-water-wine-dove Spirit who filled Jesus is on the move in our world. And that gives us a choice: do we dig in our heels, clench our fists, and live for our own agenda, or do we let go, let be, and let come … and so be taken up into the Spirit’s movement? [1]
Theologian Grace Ji-Sun Kim urges Christians to be open to the Spirit’s life-giving movement:
The Holy Spirit makes us “spiritually” alive. It inspires and strengthens us and gives us aspirations, inspirations, and intuitions. It opens us to new truths and enables us to integrate these truths into our minds and lives…. We want the Spirit to open us to its presence so we may be transformed. We believe that this openness to God’s transforming presence will make us truly alive. [2]
We must be guided by the Spirit in all that we do. We work with the movement of the Spirit as wind, light, and breath to change us and empower us to be agents of change.
When the Spirit fills our lives, we follow the rhythm of the Spirit. We are guided by the Spirit to become new creatures and become agents of change. We become workers in the Spirit and for the Spirit….
The love of the Spirit will empower us to work for God: to generate justice, be merciful, and fill the world with God’s love…. As we experience God’s presence, we each contribute to the building of the reign of God here on Earth. It is a task that calls all of us.
We recognize that this Spirit transforms us to become the best that we can be by our love. Love is the force that challenges us to move towards justice and wholeness. [3]
Brian concludes:
In a world full of big challenges, in a time like ours, we can’t settle for a heavy and fixed religion. We can’t try to contain the Spirit in a box. We need to experience the mighty rushing wind of Pentecost. We need our hearts to be made incandescent by the Spirit’s fire. We need the living water and new wine Jesus promised, so our hearts can become the home of dovelike peace. [4] "
--
Dear Elad -
I haven't even re-read the above fully yet -- it's part of my morning practice to read the message I receive daily from the lovely team that serves Richard Rohr, and I just read it now, and I am so full of what this is and what it means: it just rings very true (spoken in a Christian idiom of course)... and at the same time I worry that I cannot use words well enough or quickly enough or 'something' enough to allow out the rushing movement of what is here, what is so alive in here these days, and I yearn to so badly! I want more and more and more of this practice, so as to feel the freedom that you and Rohr and all my teachers have been pointing toward for so long, and yet I feel somehow fearful that I am not free, that I won't allow the full freedom, that I don't know how to let go completely and allow the explosion of what wants out of this fixed form to come. I want to explode and shatter and burst and become gaseous, not even a solid form anymore, and yet of course this solid form is here, and I am grateful for it, and that's what we are given in this earthly life, to live here on this earth and continue the living of a life on earth through this solidfied embodied form...
I am trying to figure out a way to make it possible to go to a weeklong sesshin upstate with that very lovely (and by the way Jewish) man of God, the Zen teacher of whom I believe I have spoken to you, the founder and main teacher of the Ithaca Zen Center in upstate New York, Yoshin David Radin. I feel the urge to try another deep dive into practice, deeper than I can manage in my householder lifestyle here in NYC, but I don't know if it is going to be feasible for me in the context of current circumstances... and we will just see.
Elad, thank you just for being there to receive a written message like this one. I have very lately been feeling the need of company in this work. I had a quite disappointing meeting in the last day or two with another fellow I believe I've mentioned to you, the teacher of a course of awakening called "Access Points." He also happens to be a person of Jewish background, he seems to me to clearly have found his way to creating something valuable that was born into form in his course; it seems very much to have been a part of a helpful process for me.
I went to seek him out so as to check in about where things have come to in my own process and to thank him for the important contribution that his course has been to me... and I found him to be so utterly suffused in his own noise and thoughts and story that it was almost impossible to connect or to share my gratitude with him. The contact with him came to feel...not exactly pointless, but certainly strange and unsatisfying, and it was not an interaction that left me feeling as if I wanted or needed to be in more touch with him as part of this process going forward (whatever it may be that this process is,)
I am inspired to let you know that I am very grateful for our connectedness -- I want to tell you that here Elad. Thank you for your care and for making it possible to reach out "when the spirit moves" me to do so. (It makes me smile to have such a phrase emerge from my fingers at this point, after a reading like this morning's.)
I am thinking of perhaps another meetup/session together with you at some point soon or soonish too and wonder what you think and what we might set up. I noticed today that it was Wednesday morning, and so I took a look for your POK session with Patti, but saw that it happened last week and will again next week, but isn't on today. Ah well, that's where things are.
I am eager to do whatever I can to foster the continuation of this process, whatever that may be. I don't always know -- maybe I never know -- what is actually going on here, and what's "my" part to do if anything -- sometimes it feels as if the entire "my" aspect of things needs to be relinquished. It is true that this morning's meditation was more, even much more satisfying that some have been recently, and it seems clear that the greater satisfaction came with "doing less": fewer timers, less checking on anything, more simple focus on the breath and on repeating, mantra-like, "Breathing in, relaxed and aware of breathing in/Breathing out, relaxed and aware of breathing out" and then allowing the smile that emerges from "not me" to emerge, and just repeating, utterly letting go of any "driver's seat behavior," to the extent that can be dropped, and then re-letting it go and re-letting it go when it's seen that Mr. Mind has grabbed at something again.
That feels like a relief, to have allowed out all of what just emerged here onto the electronic page. Thank you again, Elad, for everything, and for continuing to be in touch with me. I don't know if I'll be able to go to this sesshin in early June, but I hope I will.
I also hope all is well with you, and I thank you for your care and your time and attention. When you have a moment, I would love to hear back from you, and I wonder whether now is a good moment to confer about the best way forward from here.
Till soon I hope and trust, Dear Elad -- all good things to you. I look forward to reconnecting shortly.
With best wishes from
Josh(ua)
Good morning to you (I guess it's only morning here, but you understand). Good Day then!
Allow me to begin with today's reading from Richard Rohr, which is how I complete morning practice these days:
"From the Center for Action and Contemplation
Week Twenty-One: Life in the Spirit
A Living Spirituality
Brian McLaren reflects on the Holy Spirit’s work in the early church and today:
Following Jesus today has much in common with the original disciples’ experience…. But there is an obvious and major difference between our experience and theirs: they could see Jesus and we can’t. Surprisingly, according to John’s Gospel, that gives us an advantage. “It’s better that I go away so the Spirit can come,” Jesus said [John 16:7]. If he were physically present and visible, our focus would be on Christ over there, right there, out there … but because of his absence, we discover the Spirit of Christ right here, in here, within….
At the core of Jesus’ life and message, then, was this good news: the Spirit of God, the Spirit of aliveness, the Wind-breath-fire-cloud-water-wine-dove Spirit who filled Jesus is on the move in our world. And that gives us a choice: do we dig in our heels, clench our fists, and live for our own agenda, or do we let go, let be, and let come … and so be taken up into the Spirit’s movement? [1]
Theologian Grace Ji-Sun Kim urges Christians to be open to the Spirit’s life-giving movement:
The Holy Spirit makes us “spiritually” alive. It inspires and strengthens us and gives us aspirations, inspirations, and intuitions. It opens us to new truths and enables us to integrate these truths into our minds and lives…. We want the Spirit to open us to its presence so we may be transformed. We believe that this openness to God’s transforming presence will make us truly alive. [2]
We must be guided by the Spirit in all that we do. We work with the movement of the Spirit as wind, light, and breath to change us and empower us to be agents of change.
When the Spirit fills our lives, we follow the rhythm of the Spirit. We are guided by the Spirit to become new creatures and become agents of change. We become workers in the Spirit and for the Spirit….
The love of the Spirit will empower us to work for God: to generate justice, be merciful, and fill the world with God’s love…. As we experience God’s presence, we each contribute to the building of the reign of God here on Earth. It is a task that calls all of us.
We recognize that this Spirit transforms us to become the best that we can be by our love. Love is the force that challenges us to move towards justice and wholeness. [3]
Brian concludes:
In a world full of big challenges, in a time like ours, we can’t settle for a heavy and fixed religion. We can’t try to contain the Spirit in a box. We need to experience the mighty rushing wind of Pentecost. We need our hearts to be made incandescent by the Spirit’s fire. We need the living water and new wine Jesus promised, so our hearts can become the home of dovelike peace. [4] "
--
Dear Elad -
I haven't even re-read the above fully yet -- it's part of my morning practice to read the message I receive daily from the lovely team that serves Richard Rohr, and I just read it now, and I am so full of what this is and what it means: it just rings very true (spoken in a Christian idiom of course)... and at the same time I worry that I cannot use words well enough or quickly enough or 'something' enough to allow out the rushing movement of what is here, what is so alive in here these days, and I yearn to so badly! I want more and more and more of this practice, so as to feel the freedom that you and Rohr and all my teachers have been pointing toward for so long, and yet I feel somehow fearful that I am not free, that I won't allow the full freedom, that I don't know how to let go completely and allow the explosion of what wants out of this fixed form to come. I want to explode and shatter and burst and become gaseous, not even a solid form anymore, and yet of course this solid form is here, and I am grateful for it, and that's what we are given in this earthly life, to live here on this earth and continue the living of a life on earth through this solidfied embodied form...
I am trying to figure out a way to make it possible to go to a weeklong sesshin upstate with that very lovely (and by the way Jewish) man of God, the Zen teacher of whom I believe I have spoken to you, the founder and main teacher of the Ithaca Zen Center in upstate New York, Yoshin David Radin. I feel the urge to try another deep dive into practice, deeper than I can manage in my householder lifestyle here in NYC, but I don't know if it is going to be feasible for me in the context of current circumstances... and we will just see.
Elad, thank you just for being there to receive a written message like this one. I have very lately been feeling the need of company in this work. I had a quite disappointing meeting in the last day or two with another fellow I believe I've mentioned to you, the teacher of a course of awakening called "Access Points." He also happens to be a person of Jewish background, he seems to me to clearly have found his way to creating something valuable that was born into form in his course; it seems very much to have been a part of a helpful process for me.
I went to seek him out so as to check in about where things have come to in my own process and to thank him for the important contribution that his course has been to me... and I found him to be so utterly suffused in his own noise and thoughts and story that it was almost impossible to connect or to share my gratitude with him. The contact with him came to feel...not exactly pointless, but certainly strange and unsatisfying, and it was not an interaction that left me feeling as if I wanted or needed to be in more touch with him as part of this process going forward (whatever it may be that this process is,)
I am inspired to let you know that I am very grateful for our connectedness -- I want to tell you that here Elad. Thank you for your care and for making it possible to reach out "when the spirit moves" me to do so. (It makes me smile to have such a phrase emerge from my fingers at this point, after a reading like this morning's.)
I am thinking of perhaps another meetup/session together with you at some point soon or soonish too and wonder what you think and what we might set up. I noticed today that it was Wednesday morning, and so I took a look for your POK session with Patti, but saw that it happened last week and will again next week, but isn't on today. Ah well, that's where things are.
I am eager to do whatever I can to foster the continuation of this process, whatever that may be. I don't always know -- maybe I never know -- what is actually going on here, and what's "my" part to do if anything -- sometimes it feels as if the entire "my" aspect of things needs to be relinquished. It is true that this morning's meditation was more, even much more satisfying that some have been recently, and it seems clear that the greater satisfaction came with "doing less": fewer timers, less checking on anything, more simple focus on the breath and on repeating, mantra-like, "Breathing in, relaxed and aware of breathing in/Breathing out, relaxed and aware of breathing out" and then allowing the smile that emerges from "not me" to emerge, and just repeating, utterly letting go of any "driver's seat behavior," to the extent that can be dropped, and then re-letting it go and re-letting it go when it's seen that Mr. Mind has grabbed at something again.
That feels like a relief, to have allowed out all of what just emerged here onto the electronic page. Thank you again, Elad, for everything, and for continuing to be in touch with me. I don't know if I'll be able to go to this sesshin in early June, but I hope I will.
I also hope all is well with you, and I thank you for your care and your time and attention. When you have a moment, I would love to hear back from you, and I wonder whether now is a good moment to confer about the best way forward from here.
Till soon I hope and trust, Dear Elad -- all good things to you. I look forward to reconnecting shortly.
With best wishes from
Josh(ua)
Re: Hello!-JoshO
Dear Joshua,
This is beautiful. The sense is the only called for here on my part, is to say I am happy to be with you, that you can share here when you want or ask questions, and that I am there when you wanna do a session.
And yes, stay curious about this sense of not having to be/being in the drivers seat, the sense of no one in the drivers seat, this sense of natural spontaneous unfolding.
This is beautiful. The sense is the only called for here on my part, is to say I am happy to be with you, that you can share here when you want or ask questions, and that I am there when you wanna do a session.
And yes, stay curious about this sense of not having to be/being in the drivers seat, the sense of no one in the drivers seat, this sense of natural spontaneous unfolding.
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: Hello!-JoshO
THE DAY'S WORDS
Thursday, May 23rd, 2024
LIFE IN THE SPIRIT
The Spirit Is for All
Thursday, May 23, 2024
Author Lisa Sharon Harper describes the diversity of the early church:
At Pentecost, the Holy Spirit rushed in and caused all those present to speak in languages that were not their own. Each person understood the others…. God established the confusion between languages at the Tower of Babel (see Genesis 11). At Pentecost, God brought the languages together, but not in the way we would imagine. God did not unite the world under one imperial language. Rather, the power of God made it possible to have unity in the midst of diversity. God made it possible for people to speak languages that were not their own and to understand one another.
And in the same way Jesus had broken gender and class barriers, this multiethnic, multilingual group turned its back on misogyny and economic favoritism. Peter [quoting Joel 3:1–2] explained to the crowd why women and slaves were prophesying along with free men:
In the last days it will be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams. Even upon my slaves, both men and women, in those days will pour out my Spirit; and they shall prophesy (Acts 2:17–18)….
In other words, all the cultural, economic, and gender barriers between them were broken down. [1]
Theologian Luke Powery names how the Holy Spirit’s presence is given for all, not just some:
Pentecost shows that the Spirit loves us so much that she wants to get inside of us, dwell in us, and commune with us in a bond of love. This divine outpouring is love for each person. The Spirit honors the bodies of all people—young, old, male, female, all human beings throughout the world.… The Spirit is an equalizer and holy resister to racism and racial hierarchical systems.
That the Spirit fills all and rests on all, not just some bodies … provides an opportunity for those deemed nonhuman to reclaim their humanity in God. Pentecost shows us that the spiritual is linked to the material, and thus that all human bodies matter to the life of faith. The glory of God is revealed through all human flesh and is the “sign of special favor from the spirit.” [2] At Pentecost, each body and ethnicity is affirmed as sacred and of worth, a human being loved by God.…
No human voice or body is denied the presence and fire of God. Humans, regardless of ethnicity or race, speak a multiplicity of languages to reveal the diversity of God from the beginning, which is the vision of the end….
Pentecost… creates a new world. It is a new creation ignited by the Spirit. The Spirit may be “unsought” or “unwanted” but is “intent on making all things new.” [3] This includes new flesh, a new body for the people of God. [4]
--
Dear Elad -
I have no idea what it is that is pulling me to write to you, reach out to you, seek to be connected this way and to seek refuge from the solitariness that this time has had in it for the last while, but I do feel the pull to come in here and to write and so to be together with you, sharing the timeless space where this string of words is both written and read.
I don't understand very much, but somehow this time is both filled with challenge and also tremendously rich, so difficult on the earthly level and at the same time breaking open into something "I" cannot say, predict, take the measure of, box up and be tidy about.
No, I don't even know if I will send this bit to you later, after whatever it is that wants to come out has come out. But I am just so simultaneously stricken and happy, desperate and delighted almost, at what appears to be "getting born" somehow, full of strain and tearing and pain and probably enough weeping, and at the same time I return to the space of practice and the spirit, or something that is not the guy, gets lit enough to move and dance and speak up and try to find its way out of the clay of the daily blockedness, be allowed out and up and to be inflamed... and I don't know how to make an earthly life work, with these householder's and family man's responsibilities, while also fostering the openness and the wildness and the abandonment that appears to be called for here...
I don't have much more time or space to check in here right now, Elad, but I really do want to make sure you understand how important it is to me that I am able to reach out to you this way, leave a trace of this situation here electronically, and keep moving and living this earthly life as I go, handle my day job and try to find my daughters' lost laundry and try to assuage my poor spouse's desperate unhappiness at our family's earthly situation (which is not the very worst it could be, BTW, though circumstances could surely be improved too), and... and...
And somehow it feels almost like the spirit that is loosed by means of practice begins to gum up, that the mind begins to come back in and "try things," and it seems to me that I would like to figure out a way simply to never stop practicing. I have heard teachers like Rupert Spira say that he just began meditating always, while playing tennis, while dealing with this or that, and that strikes me as what I would like to do too... but it really is, for me these days, a back-and-forth, and the "back" tends to take over my day, the non-practice, the earthly, the habitual, the "guy" comes back and lives his life, and no he doesn't understand that he doesn't exist and never has. He comes back to "life," does his habitual dance of less-than-enough-joy, and the practice is yearned for, and "re-tried" at intervals...
...and that's how things appear to be these days. I think (I am confident) that I mentioned to you that I have been, and even still remain, hopeful to participate in the 7 day sesshin up in Ithaca beginning June 4... and I just at this moment don't know how it could possibly work for me to leave "my post" here, so soon, to go do what I feel so strongly could be just a deeply helpful and important deep dive into practice...
I would love to go, and I don't think I will be able to go. And I don't want to let the possibility go, at least not just yet. But decisions will need to be made soon -- I don't want to keep others from the possibility if I can't use the spot.
Anyway... thank you for joining me again, Elad. It's not all easy, these days, not at all, and at the same time it truly does feel as if things are moving in beautiful and maybe even important directions in a process which, it seems to me, I should keep my hands off of.
It's all a little weird, and the mind calls me crazy for proceeding as "I" have been doing, and yet also... somethings says "keep going, keep the faith, do not give up now my little one."
Thank you again Elad. I hope to hear from you again soon too.
With best wishes from
Josh(ua)
Thursday, May 23rd, 2024
LIFE IN THE SPIRIT
The Spirit Is for All
Thursday, May 23, 2024
Author Lisa Sharon Harper describes the diversity of the early church:
At Pentecost, the Holy Spirit rushed in and caused all those present to speak in languages that were not their own. Each person understood the others…. God established the confusion between languages at the Tower of Babel (see Genesis 11). At Pentecost, God brought the languages together, but not in the way we would imagine. God did not unite the world under one imperial language. Rather, the power of God made it possible to have unity in the midst of diversity. God made it possible for people to speak languages that were not their own and to understand one another.
And in the same way Jesus had broken gender and class barriers, this multiethnic, multilingual group turned its back on misogyny and economic favoritism. Peter [quoting Joel 3:1–2] explained to the crowd why women and slaves were prophesying along with free men:
In the last days it will be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams. Even upon my slaves, both men and women, in those days will pour out my Spirit; and they shall prophesy (Acts 2:17–18)….
In other words, all the cultural, economic, and gender barriers between them were broken down. [1]
Theologian Luke Powery names how the Holy Spirit’s presence is given for all, not just some:
Pentecost shows that the Spirit loves us so much that she wants to get inside of us, dwell in us, and commune with us in a bond of love. This divine outpouring is love for each person. The Spirit honors the bodies of all people—young, old, male, female, all human beings throughout the world.… The Spirit is an equalizer and holy resister to racism and racial hierarchical systems.
That the Spirit fills all and rests on all, not just some bodies … provides an opportunity for those deemed nonhuman to reclaim their humanity in God. Pentecost shows us that the spiritual is linked to the material, and thus that all human bodies matter to the life of faith. The glory of God is revealed through all human flesh and is the “sign of special favor from the spirit.” [2] At Pentecost, each body and ethnicity is affirmed as sacred and of worth, a human being loved by God.…
No human voice or body is denied the presence and fire of God. Humans, regardless of ethnicity or race, speak a multiplicity of languages to reveal the diversity of God from the beginning, which is the vision of the end….
Pentecost… creates a new world. It is a new creation ignited by the Spirit. The Spirit may be “unsought” or “unwanted” but is “intent on making all things new.” [3] This includes new flesh, a new body for the people of God. [4]
--
Dear Elad -
I have no idea what it is that is pulling me to write to you, reach out to you, seek to be connected this way and to seek refuge from the solitariness that this time has had in it for the last while, but I do feel the pull to come in here and to write and so to be together with you, sharing the timeless space where this string of words is both written and read.
I don't understand very much, but somehow this time is both filled with challenge and also tremendously rich, so difficult on the earthly level and at the same time breaking open into something "I" cannot say, predict, take the measure of, box up and be tidy about.
No, I don't even know if I will send this bit to you later, after whatever it is that wants to come out has come out. But I am just so simultaneously stricken and happy, desperate and delighted almost, at what appears to be "getting born" somehow, full of strain and tearing and pain and probably enough weeping, and at the same time I return to the space of practice and the spirit, or something that is not the guy, gets lit enough to move and dance and speak up and try to find its way out of the clay of the daily blockedness, be allowed out and up and to be inflamed... and I don't know how to make an earthly life work, with these householder's and family man's responsibilities, while also fostering the openness and the wildness and the abandonment that appears to be called for here...
I don't have much more time or space to check in here right now, Elad, but I really do want to make sure you understand how important it is to me that I am able to reach out to you this way, leave a trace of this situation here electronically, and keep moving and living this earthly life as I go, handle my day job and try to find my daughters' lost laundry and try to assuage my poor spouse's desperate unhappiness at our family's earthly situation (which is not the very worst it could be, BTW, though circumstances could surely be improved too), and... and...
And somehow it feels almost like the spirit that is loosed by means of practice begins to gum up, that the mind begins to come back in and "try things," and it seems to me that I would like to figure out a way simply to never stop practicing. I have heard teachers like Rupert Spira say that he just began meditating always, while playing tennis, while dealing with this or that, and that strikes me as what I would like to do too... but it really is, for me these days, a back-and-forth, and the "back" tends to take over my day, the non-practice, the earthly, the habitual, the "guy" comes back and lives his life, and no he doesn't understand that he doesn't exist and never has. He comes back to "life," does his habitual dance of less-than-enough-joy, and the practice is yearned for, and "re-tried" at intervals...
...and that's how things appear to be these days. I think (I am confident) that I mentioned to you that I have been, and even still remain, hopeful to participate in the 7 day sesshin up in Ithaca beginning June 4... and I just at this moment don't know how it could possibly work for me to leave "my post" here, so soon, to go do what I feel so strongly could be just a deeply helpful and important deep dive into practice...
I would love to go, and I don't think I will be able to go. And I don't want to let the possibility go, at least not just yet. But decisions will need to be made soon -- I don't want to keep others from the possibility if I can't use the spot.
Anyway... thank you for joining me again, Elad. It's not all easy, these days, not at all, and at the same time it truly does feel as if things are moving in beautiful and maybe even important directions in a process which, it seems to me, I should keep my hands off of.
It's all a little weird, and the mind calls me crazy for proceeding as "I" have been doing, and yet also... somethings says "keep going, keep the faith, do not give up now my little one."
Thank you again Elad. I hope to hear from you again soon too.
With best wishes from
Josh(ua)
Re: Hello!-JoshO
Thank you Joshua! I am with you. I'm here when you want a session or when here on LU you want to share or ask questions regarding the process of looking into the nature of "the doer/controller/the identity".
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: Hello!-JoshO
Hi Joshua, good to see you!
Once it is clear for you that there is no separate self, no doer or chooser, I can present to you the final LU questions. Once we are past that and you feel ready, you can start guiding at LU. I could be your mentor (I mentor new guides) and there are other good mentors too, if you wish to work with someone else. This might be a good way to start sharing, though it doesn't bring you an income...
Once it is clear for you that there is no separate self, no doer or chooser, I can present to you the final LU questions. Once we are past that and you feel ready, you can start guiding at LU. I could be your mentor (I mentor new guides) and there are other good mentors too, if you wish to work with someone else. This might be a good way to start sharing, though it doesn't bring you an income...
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: Hello!-JoshO
Josh, are you still engaged with the process of looking at the belief in a separate self/agent/controller? How is it unfolding?
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: Hello!-JoshO
Greetings Dear Elad!
Just to jump back in with some vigor and immediately:
Below you will find a written result of my morning practice, which I now share with you as a step toward re-opening our contact and maybe even our being in some kind of more-frequent conversation, if that can work for you. Here's the latest:
My practice has become to sit/meditate for an hour every weekday morning, after which I read the daily message I receive via email from Father Richard Rohr's Center for Action and Contemplation, to see (and be amazed by) how that message resonates with what the meditation practice has "loosed" or "allowed to manifest" in this daily experience (for which I am so grateful). I alter and add to the text by "bold"ing some of the passages when inspired to do so and by adding my own words, [italicized and in brackets,] so as to differentiate them clearly from what was there to begin with, to mark what struck me especially powerfully, and to record the thoughts that day's text conjured up.
[I now see and remember, as I paste my note to you into the LU site, that it does not allow for BOLD or italicized fonts; ah well! I hope this text remains comprehensible despite that limitation. Back to the text as written:]
Today's practice has been just wonderful. The impression I have here generally is that the process you helped catalyze in me has been continuing. When you have a moment and the inclination to do so, would you read what follows below and (I hope) reply afterward, however you may be inspired to do so?
Thanks so much -- I hope you are very well as mentioned and look forward to hearing from you.
With love from
Josh(ua)
==
[OK - the reading of today:]
==
"Eager to Love
Contemplation and Love
Friday, October 4, 2024
Feast of St. Francis of Assisi
Richard Rohr names the passing on of love as the great gift of Francis of Assisi:
Contemplative minds and hearts such as those of Francis and Clare are alone prepared to hand on the Great Mystery from age to age and from person to person. The utilitarian and calculating mind distorts the message at its core. The contemplative, nondual mind inherently creates a great “communion of saints,” which is so obviously scattered, hidden, and amorphous that no one can say, “Here it is,” or “There it is,” but instead it is always “among you” (Luke 17:21)—invisible and uninteresting to most, but obvious and ecstatic to those who seek (see Matthew 22:14). [Exactly where the practice has brought me today, and from where/in which this reading is happening now!]
From the Trinity to Jesus, the energetic movement of receiving and giving Love begins. Then, from Jesus to many—Francis and Clare, Bonaventure and Scotus, Thérèse of Lisieux, Teilhard de Chardin, Mother Teresa, Thomas Merton, Dorothy Day, Pope Francis, and now we ourselves—we are all part of this one great parade, “partners in God’s triumphal procession,” as Paul calls it, “spreading the knowledge of God like a sweet smell everywhere” (2 Corinthians 2:14), much more a transmission of authentic life and love than of mere ideas or doctrines.
It is remarkable to know that findings about mirror neurons almost prove that this energetic movement is the case, even physiologically and interpersonally. [1] It is not just pious poetry. If we have never received a gaze of love, we do not even have the neural ability to hand it on. We cannot really imagine love, much less pass it on, until we have accepted that someone—God, another person, or even an animal—could fully accept us as we are. [It's looking like the entire reading calls for BOLDing today!]
Human history is one giant wave of unearned grace, and each of us is now another wave crashing onto the sands of time, edged forward by the many waves behind us. We are fully loved and adopted children in God’s one eternal family which is open to all. To accept such an objective truth is the best and deepest understanding of how the Risen Christ spreads his forgiving heart through history. It is Love that we are passing from age to age—even the very love of God. [OK, I won't bold every single sentence -- even though they've all called for and deserved it... but DEEP BREATHING as you read, and SMILE breaks open and out, and JOY infuses the body, when the breaking-open happens!]
Our only holiness is by participation and surrender to the Body of Love, and not by any private performance. This is the joining of hands from generation to generation [THIS is l'dor va'dor, this exactly] that still can—and will—change the world, because Love is One, and this Love is either shared and passed on or it is not the Great Love at all. The One Love is always eager, and, in fact, such eagerness is precisely the giveaway that we are dealing with something divine and eternal.
Francis’ revolution is still in process, and it cannot fail, because it is nothing more or less than the certain unfolding of Love itself, which, as Paul declares, “never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:8).
==
Oh my goodness, this today. What a beautiful gift to be given words to fill in the mentality, the understanding-level, of where Life is... don't know how to write anything particularly useful or expansive here, other than just to stay here and to leave a trace of the Life and the recognition of Love, the ONE LOVE that is being lived here in his little wave-place right now.
Thank you for this practice, Havaya, Adonai, thank you for the sitting, and for connecting this little wave with every other wave that has happened in this story that this little wave loves to recall and tell so much... the story of that little apparent boy and his journey to reconnection with You and All and Love and Life lived joyfully and eagerly and with deep, deep breathing happening now and regularly, to regain access, aware and conscious access, over and over to that which is breathing him, raising the wave again and again, being the Life and the Love that are in that little wave and everywhere else, among all those ancestors and down through the children, L'Dor va'Dor...
Just looked down... and CONFETTI! Yay! And the system just told me that if I write 750 more, it will repair my 3 days streak that got broken yesterday by my not showing up here because it was Rosh Hashanah...
All those thoughts want to be written, right? The vision of meeting and talking with Amichai... the December sesshin... the trip (soon!) to South Carolina to reconnect and reconnoiter and reconfigure with the Alley Cats... that photograph of Lucia sitting in your lap and you holding and loving her...
It's all wonderful -- and it's all for you going forward.
Elad -- I have wanted to write to you for days and days and days now, and perhaps this is the note that I will send along. The process, the unfolding, has been happening, and I wanted to check in and say hello, touch base and reconnect. I hope this finds you very very well and look forward to seeing your face and hearing your voice sometime soon. Can we make an appointment for sometime shortly to have a conversation about where all of everything now stands, or has presently come to, or however best to say that? Please let me know what might work for you when you have a moment.
Meanwhile... hello. I think of you often and with affection, and I look forward to greeting you directly soon.
With best wishes from
Josh(ua)
##
Just to jump back in with some vigor and immediately:
Below you will find a written result of my morning practice, which I now share with you as a step toward re-opening our contact and maybe even our being in some kind of more-frequent conversation, if that can work for you. Here's the latest:
My practice has become to sit/meditate for an hour every weekday morning, after which I read the daily message I receive via email from Father Richard Rohr's Center for Action and Contemplation, to see (and be amazed by) how that message resonates with what the meditation practice has "loosed" or "allowed to manifest" in this daily experience (for which I am so grateful). I alter and add to the text by "bold"ing some of the passages when inspired to do so and by adding my own words, [italicized and in brackets,] so as to differentiate them clearly from what was there to begin with, to mark what struck me especially powerfully, and to record the thoughts that day's text conjured up.
[I now see and remember, as I paste my note to you into the LU site, that it does not allow for BOLD or italicized fonts; ah well! I hope this text remains comprehensible despite that limitation. Back to the text as written:]
Today's practice has been just wonderful. The impression I have here generally is that the process you helped catalyze in me has been continuing. When you have a moment and the inclination to do so, would you read what follows below and (I hope) reply afterward, however you may be inspired to do so?
Thanks so much -- I hope you are very well as mentioned and look forward to hearing from you.
With love from
Josh(ua)
==
[OK - the reading of today:]
==
"Eager to Love
Contemplation and Love
Friday, October 4, 2024
Feast of St. Francis of Assisi
Richard Rohr names the passing on of love as the great gift of Francis of Assisi:
Contemplative minds and hearts such as those of Francis and Clare are alone prepared to hand on the Great Mystery from age to age and from person to person. The utilitarian and calculating mind distorts the message at its core. The contemplative, nondual mind inherently creates a great “communion of saints,” which is so obviously scattered, hidden, and amorphous that no one can say, “Here it is,” or “There it is,” but instead it is always “among you” (Luke 17:21)—invisible and uninteresting to most, but obvious and ecstatic to those who seek (see Matthew 22:14). [Exactly where the practice has brought me today, and from where/in which this reading is happening now!]
From the Trinity to Jesus, the energetic movement of receiving and giving Love begins. Then, from Jesus to many—Francis and Clare, Bonaventure and Scotus, Thérèse of Lisieux, Teilhard de Chardin, Mother Teresa, Thomas Merton, Dorothy Day, Pope Francis, and now we ourselves—we are all part of this one great parade, “partners in God’s triumphal procession,” as Paul calls it, “spreading the knowledge of God like a sweet smell everywhere” (2 Corinthians 2:14), much more a transmission of authentic life and love than of mere ideas or doctrines.
It is remarkable to know that findings about mirror neurons almost prove that this energetic movement is the case, even physiologically and interpersonally. [1] It is not just pious poetry. If we have never received a gaze of love, we do not even have the neural ability to hand it on. We cannot really imagine love, much less pass it on, until we have accepted that someone—God, another person, or even an animal—could fully accept us as we are. [It's looking like the entire reading calls for BOLDing today!]
Human history is one giant wave of unearned grace, and each of us is now another wave crashing onto the sands of time, edged forward by the many waves behind us. We are fully loved and adopted children in God’s one eternal family which is open to all. To accept such an objective truth is the best and deepest understanding of how the Risen Christ spreads his forgiving heart through history. It is Love that we are passing from age to age—even the very love of God. [OK, I won't bold every single sentence -- even though they've all called for and deserved it... but DEEP BREATHING as you read, and SMILE breaks open and out, and JOY infuses the body, when the breaking-open happens!]
Our only holiness is by participation and surrender to the Body of Love, and not by any private performance. This is the joining of hands from generation to generation [THIS is l'dor va'dor, this exactly] that still can—and will—change the world, because Love is One, and this Love is either shared and passed on or it is not the Great Love at all. The One Love is always eager, and, in fact, such eagerness is precisely the giveaway that we are dealing with something divine and eternal.
Francis’ revolution is still in process, and it cannot fail, because it is nothing more or less than the certain unfolding of Love itself, which, as Paul declares, “never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:8).
==
Oh my goodness, this today. What a beautiful gift to be given words to fill in the mentality, the understanding-level, of where Life is... don't know how to write anything particularly useful or expansive here, other than just to stay here and to leave a trace of the Life and the recognition of Love, the ONE LOVE that is being lived here in his little wave-place right now.
Thank you for this practice, Havaya, Adonai, thank you for the sitting, and for connecting this little wave with every other wave that has happened in this story that this little wave loves to recall and tell so much... the story of that little apparent boy and his journey to reconnection with You and All and Love and Life lived joyfully and eagerly and with deep, deep breathing happening now and regularly, to regain access, aware and conscious access, over and over to that which is breathing him, raising the wave again and again, being the Life and the Love that are in that little wave and everywhere else, among all those ancestors and down through the children, L'Dor va'Dor...
Just looked down... and CONFETTI! Yay! And the system just told me that if I write 750 more, it will repair my 3 days streak that got broken yesterday by my not showing up here because it was Rosh Hashanah...
All those thoughts want to be written, right? The vision of meeting and talking with Amichai... the December sesshin... the trip (soon!) to South Carolina to reconnect and reconnoiter and reconfigure with the Alley Cats... that photograph of Lucia sitting in your lap and you holding and loving her...
It's all wonderful -- and it's all for you going forward.
Elad -- I have wanted to write to you for days and days and days now, and perhaps this is the note that I will send along. The process, the unfolding, has been happening, and I wanted to check in and say hello, touch base and reconnect. I hope this finds you very very well and look forward to seeing your face and hearing your voice sometime soon. Can we make an appointment for sometime shortly to have a conversation about where all of everything now stands, or has presently come to, or however best to say that? Please let me know what might work for you when you have a moment.
Meanwhile... hello. I think of you often and with affection, and I look forward to greeting you directly soon.
With best wishes from
Josh(ua)
##
Re: Hello!-JoshO
Dear Joshua,
Thank you for you message, good to hear from you. I would happy to continue working with you here, if/when it feels right to you. If we do, however, I would like to keep it more pointed on seeing through the self illusion, seeing through that there is any doer/chooser/controller.
If what you want and need, is more like an open-ended space to share the process and what inspires you, in readings and so forth, this is something that to me would feel appropriate to to do in live consultations.
So please feel into: Do you want to return to a more pointed process aimed at seeing through the separate self/agent? How are you with that?
Thank you for you message, good to hear from you. I would happy to continue working with you here, if/when it feels right to you. If we do, however, I would like to keep it more pointed on seeing through the self illusion, seeing through that there is any doer/chooser/controller.
If what you want and need, is more like an open-ended space to share the process and what inspires you, in readings and so forth, this is something that to me would feel appropriate to to do in live consultations.
So please feel into: Do you want to return to a more pointed process aimed at seeing through the separate self/agent? How are you with that?
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: Hello!-JoshO
Dear Elad -
Very briefly, thank you. At the moment, I'm not quite sure exactly what is most needed, but I know for sure that I am glad just to have reconnected with you this little bit. I have been working more or less on my own for several months in a process that has felt both very valuable and often revelatory, and at the same time perhaps a bit too solitary. I don't insist on any particular way forward and suspect I would like both to purse the LU-way, seeing through the illusion of self, and to meet and consult and check in about the uniqueness of what appears to be unfolding in this one little life over here. Could we do both?
It also bears saying again that I somehow missed, in the spring, that you had proposed my becoming an LU guide, which gives me the impression you felt I was ready to consider doing so. Perhaps I am - but just the thought of it feels a little daunting and like, "me, really?" I'd like to check in with you about where things are, where "I" am, and the whole process -- which perhaps calls for some consultation via video rather than straight LU stuff too.
I'm not sure about anything, in other words, except that I'm grateful to be able to write into this little online interface and magically summon you up out of the hidden places where you have been these last few months. Hello Elad. Thank you for being there and for your willingness to continue our contacts. I guess I've begun to feel a bit too solitary in the work here and would love to re-establish more regular contact and conversation, however that may work best.
Thanks for your kind attention always. I look forward to connecting more and to figuring out how best to proceed.
Yours with affection and gratitude -
Josh(ua)
Very briefly, thank you. At the moment, I'm not quite sure exactly what is most needed, but I know for sure that I am glad just to have reconnected with you this little bit. I have been working more or less on my own for several months in a process that has felt both very valuable and often revelatory, and at the same time perhaps a bit too solitary. I don't insist on any particular way forward and suspect I would like both to purse the LU-way, seeing through the illusion of self, and to meet and consult and check in about the uniqueness of what appears to be unfolding in this one little life over here. Could we do both?
It also bears saying again that I somehow missed, in the spring, that you had proposed my becoming an LU guide, which gives me the impression you felt I was ready to consider doing so. Perhaps I am - but just the thought of it feels a little daunting and like, "me, really?" I'd like to check in with you about where things are, where "I" am, and the whole process -- which perhaps calls for some consultation via video rather than straight LU stuff too.
I'm not sure about anything, in other words, except that I'm grateful to be able to write into this little online interface and magically summon you up out of the hidden places where you have been these last few months. Hello Elad. Thank you for being there and for your willingness to continue our contacts. I guess I've begun to feel a bit too solitary in the work here and would love to re-establish more regular contact and conversation, however that may work best.
Thanks for your kind attention always. I look forward to connecting more and to figuring out how best to proceed.
Yours with affection and gratitude -
Josh(ua)
Re: Hello!-JoshO
Dear Joshua,
It good to read your message, it gives me more clarity. Let me answer and clarify from my side:
1) I am happy to write with you here. If we do, let's keep it focused on seeing through self. The next step would be for you to write if you have seen through the illusion of self/controller/chooser. If not, what seems to be the doubt or unclarity. When you write about that, I suggest to keep it as short and sharp as possible. This truth does not need many words, and inquiry is not about many words. The can be enjoyed after seeing, or not, it's secondary. And they can be part of the psychological process around the inquiry. But I want us at this point to keep it as sharply on point as possible here. On the inquiry, what is seen what is not. This is clarity.
2) I am happy to do sessions with you of open-ended nature. If you wan't that, please write me about it on the email. I suggest that anything else then the strict seeing through self process, we keep there. You might also consider trying sessions with Ilona. Working with more then one person can be helpful. I am happy to do it, and happy to work here, while sessions are with another. Let's keep it all about what helps.
3) I did not mean to say you are ready to be a guide. I do not know if you have seen through the self illusion. And letting go of inquiry prematurely is to shoot oneself in the foot. I said when/if you become ready, you can be a guide. This was in response to your expressions of deepening experiences and wishes to share. We need to be very clear on point (1) here before we go to point (3).
With warmth and the best of wishes
It good to read your message, it gives me more clarity. Let me answer and clarify from my side:
1) I am happy to write with you here. If we do, let's keep it focused on seeing through self. The next step would be for you to write if you have seen through the illusion of self/controller/chooser. If not, what seems to be the doubt or unclarity. When you write about that, I suggest to keep it as short and sharp as possible. This truth does not need many words, and inquiry is not about many words. The can be enjoyed after seeing, or not, it's secondary. And they can be part of the psychological process around the inquiry. But I want us at this point to keep it as sharply on point as possible here. On the inquiry, what is seen what is not. This is clarity.
2) I am happy to do sessions with you of open-ended nature. If you wan't that, please write me about it on the email. I suggest that anything else then the strict seeing through self process, we keep there. You might also consider trying sessions with Ilona. Working with more then one person can be helpful. I am happy to do it, and happy to work here, while sessions are with another. Let's keep it all about what helps.
3) I did not mean to say you are ready to be a guide. I do not know if you have seen through the self illusion. And letting go of inquiry prematurely is to shoot oneself in the foot. I said when/if you become ready, you can be a guide. This was in response to your expressions of deepening experiences and wishes to share. We need to be very clear on point (1) here before we go to point (3).
With warmth and the best of wishes
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: Hello!-JoshO
The *many words* can be enjoyed after seeing, or not, it's secondary.
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: Hello!-JoshO
Dear Elad -
Greetings (!) after what has become a longer time than I ever intended. I tried but did not succeed in joining you for the end of the Awakening & Consultation Zoom meeting this morning, intending to say hello at you again and let you know that it feels like time, if not past time, to meet with you via video one-on-one for an update/check-in and see how best to proceed from here.
I think to mention, for what it is worth, that (it feels to me at least that) this has been an extraordinarily productive, maybe even revolutionary chapter in this apparently separate life on earth since you and I were last in regular contact. I am very hopeful to reconnect, share as much as possible of what has transpired and where things now "stand", and determine wisest ways forward with your kind help and attention.
Would you let me know a few times that might work for you for another consultation/session sometime soon? I look forward eagerly to seeing you, to reconnecting, and to attempting to use words to communicate the richness and the joy of what has been emerging here through this continuing work. Till soon then please!
With best wishes from your own
Josh(ua)
Greetings (!) after what has become a longer time than I ever intended. I tried but did not succeed in joining you for the end of the Awakening & Consultation Zoom meeting this morning, intending to say hello at you again and let you know that it feels like time, if not past time, to meet with you via video one-on-one for an update/check-in and see how best to proceed from here.
I think to mention, for what it is worth, that (it feels to me at least that) this has been an extraordinarily productive, maybe even revolutionary chapter in this apparently separate life on earth since you and I were last in regular contact. I am very hopeful to reconnect, share as much as possible of what has transpired and where things now "stand", and determine wisest ways forward with your kind help and attention.
Would you let me know a few times that might work for you for another consultation/session sometime soon? I look forward eagerly to seeing you, to reconnecting, and to attempting to use words to communicate the richness and the joy of what has been emerging here through this continuing work. Till soon then please!
With best wishes from your own
Josh(ua)
Re: Hello!-JoshO
Dear Joshua,
Good to hear from you. Let’s set up a time to meet— send me 3–4 options.
As for where you are in this process: What remains unclear is whether awakening is seen as a fundamental shift in perception or still as a series of deep experiences happening to “you.”
The key thing to look at: Is there still a subtle assumption of someone going through this process? If so, what exactly is that "someone" made of? Is it anything beyond thoughts and sensations claiming ownership?
Good to hear from you. Let’s set up a time to meet— send me 3–4 options.
As for where you are in this process: What remains unclear is whether awakening is seen as a fundamental shift in perception or still as a series of deep experiences happening to “you.”
The key thing to look at: Is there still a subtle assumption of someone going through this process? If so, what exactly is that "someone" made of? Is it anything beyond thoughts and sensations claiming ownership?
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: Hello!-JoshO
Dear Elad –
I was very glad just to see your “admin5229” address in my email inbox yesterday morning – it inspired a smile and a good feeling to see your response had arisen, that it had reached me, that you are still there, that we are able to reconnect so easily. Hello!
I would love to reconnect soon. During the coming work week, I could meet most days at 11am (US Eastern time) or between 2pm – 4pm as well. Please let me know what might work best for you.
To try to answer your question as well and specifically as possible: at the moment it’s not clear that I would use either phrase you used to try to describe what has been going on here… although as I review and try to express my experience as clearly as I can for you, it seems to me the first phrase is closer to my experience; I want to be very careful though not to assert anything too strongly. Please allow me to try and describe the latest goings-on.
My practice/life has come to consist of sitting to meditate for at least an hour every morning, longer on weekends if I can get up early enough and my wife and daughters sleep in. Every morning, I return to meditation practice, and every morning the practice makes it possible for the person, the personality that was for so long what I took myself to be, to recede and allow joy to emerge, like the sun when clouds part or dissipate. Practice reveals daily that that this personality is a mentally-created “sense of self,” an elaborate creation that I am grateful to have but realize is not what is actually alive here; it cannot itself see or be aware of the breathing that the body does to stay alive. The awareness is aware of the body breathing; the “thinker-fellow,” which was given the name Joshua by my parents long ago, is not aware of anything, nor is it actually a living entity. The breathing practice manages, daily, for the first time reliably in this lifetime, to “peel off” the attention from the very sticky stream of thinking and allow attention, more and more, to stay on the breathing.
Every morning, that practice allows the personality/thinker to recede, which then allows the light of joy to shine. I do that for an hour and relish the joyous practice, at the end of which the "habitual dude" is much less dominating. I then get to work, alternating periods of project-work at my job with brief returns (4-5 mins each) to breathing/meditation, so as to reconnect with the breathing, to re-become present, and reconnect with the joy of being present which attention on the breathing reveals over and over again. The “Joshua” sense of self does automatically reconstitute itself in “normal” living and working (outside of practice), and while that sense is very familiar, “that guy” is no longer taken to be what is “actually real” here. He is always available for use, it's easy to find "that guy" if I ever need to move in or deal with the world, but I don’t believe that awakening is happening to Joshua. He doesn’t genuinely exist. It feels and seems rather like Joshua is becoming translucent and the light that shines through that multicolored, variegated rose window is what is real here.
And then, also, thoughts happen at different times that “take credit” on Joshua’s behalf, that try to give him/me credit for “having done something right” that has resulted in “steps in the right direction” on a path of awakening. I somehow see that such thoughts are Joshua reflexively seeking to bolster his sense of himself and his story. I both don’t buy them and also simultaneously feel, maybe somewhat strangely, a genuine sense of relief and even some satisfaction for having somehow arrived at a place in this life where words like those you have just read can be written here, truthfully, in response to your inquiry.
Was any of that clear? I hope so. I look forward, I admit at the moment a little bit nervously, to your response. What a funny and strange set of feelings, but here they are.
Please let me know what/when might work to meet up again, Elad. Thank you again for your care and attention and for being in touch with me again. I look forward to seeing you and speaking with you soon.
With best wishes and thanks from
Josh(ua)
I was very glad just to see your “admin5229” address in my email inbox yesterday morning – it inspired a smile and a good feeling to see your response had arisen, that it had reached me, that you are still there, that we are able to reconnect so easily. Hello!
I would love to reconnect soon. During the coming work week, I could meet most days at 11am (US Eastern time) or between 2pm – 4pm as well. Please let me know what might work best for you.
To try to answer your question as well and specifically as possible: at the moment it’s not clear that I would use either phrase you used to try to describe what has been going on here… although as I review and try to express my experience as clearly as I can for you, it seems to me the first phrase is closer to my experience; I want to be very careful though not to assert anything too strongly. Please allow me to try and describe the latest goings-on.
My practice/life has come to consist of sitting to meditate for at least an hour every morning, longer on weekends if I can get up early enough and my wife and daughters sleep in. Every morning, I return to meditation practice, and every morning the practice makes it possible for the person, the personality that was for so long what I took myself to be, to recede and allow joy to emerge, like the sun when clouds part or dissipate. Practice reveals daily that that this personality is a mentally-created “sense of self,” an elaborate creation that I am grateful to have but realize is not what is actually alive here; it cannot itself see or be aware of the breathing that the body does to stay alive. The awareness is aware of the body breathing; the “thinker-fellow,” which was given the name Joshua by my parents long ago, is not aware of anything, nor is it actually a living entity. The breathing practice manages, daily, for the first time reliably in this lifetime, to “peel off” the attention from the very sticky stream of thinking and allow attention, more and more, to stay on the breathing.
Every morning, that practice allows the personality/thinker to recede, which then allows the light of joy to shine. I do that for an hour and relish the joyous practice, at the end of which the "habitual dude" is much less dominating. I then get to work, alternating periods of project-work at my job with brief returns (4-5 mins each) to breathing/meditation, so as to reconnect with the breathing, to re-become present, and reconnect with the joy of being present which attention on the breathing reveals over and over again. The “Joshua” sense of self does automatically reconstitute itself in “normal” living and working (outside of practice), and while that sense is very familiar, “that guy” is no longer taken to be what is “actually real” here. He is always available for use, it's easy to find "that guy" if I ever need to move in or deal with the world, but I don’t believe that awakening is happening to Joshua. He doesn’t genuinely exist. It feels and seems rather like Joshua is becoming translucent and the light that shines through that multicolored, variegated rose window is what is real here.
And then, also, thoughts happen at different times that “take credit” on Joshua’s behalf, that try to give him/me credit for “having done something right” that has resulted in “steps in the right direction” on a path of awakening. I somehow see that such thoughts are Joshua reflexively seeking to bolster his sense of himself and his story. I both don’t buy them and also simultaneously feel, maybe somewhat strangely, a genuine sense of relief and even some satisfaction for having somehow arrived at a place in this life where words like those you have just read can be written here, truthfully, in response to your inquiry.
Was any of that clear? I hope so. I look forward, I admit at the moment a little bit nervously, to your response. What a funny and strange set of feelings, but here they are.
Please let me know what/when might work to meet up again, Elad. Thank you again for your care and attention and for being in touch with me again. I look forward to seeing you and speaking with you soon.
With best wishes and thanks from
Josh(ua)
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