Where do I go from here?

[Anastacia42]

Is it accurate to say one way of looking takes you to "nothing." And the other way of looking takes you to "everything? "

.Loving,

[Shubo]

Is it accurate to say one way of looking takes you to "nothing." And the other way of looking takes you to "everything? "

Yes, that is true.

Today the body feels permeable, almost transparent.

[Anastacia42]

Relaxing, isn't it?

Here, try this:


Introductory Body Exercise

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes. Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:

Can it be known how tall the body is? Does the body have a weight or volume? In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing? Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly? If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to? What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc) before replying.

Loving,

[Shubo]

Can it be known how tall the body is? Does the body have a weight or volume? In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

No the concept of height doesn’t correspond to any sensation. No the body feels amorphous. No weight or volume. There doesn’t seem to be any distance to the sensations. The sensation of feet touching the ground doesn’t seem any further away than the sensation of the face.

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing? Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

There is no boundary between body and clothing or chair. There are just sensations.

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly? If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

There’s just a cloud of sensations. No edge. No inside or outside. The sensations blend together.

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to? What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Amorphous cloud of sensations. These sensations are ever changing and they don’t correspond to the body image we have. And they appear right on the surface of consciousness. There is no distance.

[Anastacia42]

Good!

Can you say 100% there is no separate "self? "

Loving,

[Shubo]

Hi Stacy,

Can you say 100% there is no separate "self? "

Logically yes, but not experientially 100% sure with conviction.

When taken apart these are the observations:
Bodily sensation: There's just a cloud of sensation. No boundaries. No distance. It's all occurring in consciousness.

Sound: Sound is just there. No hearer of the sound. It's similar to sensation in that it feels like it's all happening in consciousness, like modulation of it. The sound that feels far away has certain quality but if you pay attention the concept of distance falls away.

Inquiring into self: When asking "where am I" at first it feels like it located somewhere around the head. But if you look deeply it's just open space. "I" seem to be everywhere and nowhere in particular.

But the sense of separate "self" is still in operation. Or is it?

But feeling encouraged that certain glimpses are happening.

Yong

[Anastacia42]

the sense of separate "self" is still in operation. Or is it?

I don't know.

Okay...

Explore ‘Sense of Self’

Let’s say that you have lost your keys and you swear that you left them in your coat. You go to look and check all the pockets - the keys are not there. You swear they must be as that was the last place you remember them. You have a vivid memory of putting them there after you left the house. But when you check they are not there. At this point you can keep believing that the keys are in your pocket, or you can admit you were mistaken.

This is just like that. You may see clearly that the self is an illusion but still feel a sense of self - just like the keys. But feeling something to be true and seeing that it is or is not is different. This is why we may find ourselves coming back to your expectations at the start and at the end.

Now, I’d like to ask you to explore this SENSE of self very-very thoroughly. Not by thinking about it, but by FEELING it. Keep the focus of attention on the sense of self and inquire:

Does the sense of self have a location?

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

What is found?

[Shubo]

Will respond. Not rushing on these questions.

[Anastacia42]

Okay

[Shubo]

Does the sense of self have a location?

There is no specific location and it seems to be everywhere. But it feels centered around the body.

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

No shape or size.

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

Don't know. To whom or what?

If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

Don't know.

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

Neutral, open, familiarity, knowing, indescribable presence.

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

None of those. Image, sound, taste, smell, sensation and thought occur within the sense of self but it's not made of any of those. It's one of those things you know it's there but there is no word to describe it.

What is found?

Just like body sensation the sense of body has no boundary.

Earlier when cycling it felt like there was just awareness with world wooshing by, sensation of wind and of bike handles and pedaling happening on its own and feeling like there was just open space without boundary.

At one point for a brief second it felt like there was some kind of portal opening. This could be nothing or just an imagination but once noticed it disappeared.

[Anastacia42]

Hi

You are stuck in expectations of your story of what it should be like & ignoring how it is. You can stay there forever in these doubts & stories. I cannot come between you & your own mind.

Seeing there is no self can be both gradual & subtle.

I also cannot ever say you've seen or not. That's up to you.

Have you watched these?

Watch these, please:

https://youtu.be/vJQcD588g2w

and

https://youtu.be/PUDzrCLlrj4

This is just a beginning. There are many beliefs to question after the belief in a "self. "

We have a couple of support groups that are meeting via teleconference and I'll give you the information on that.

Maybe talking with others will help.

There are 3 meetings.

Vince Shubert runs one on the weekends. Write to vinceschubert@gmail.com for the link & schedule.

Luchana & Lubo run one on Thursdays. Write to Luchana at luchanauzunova@gmail.com

Ilona holds a monthly meeting. Write admin@ilonaciunaite.com for that link & schedule.

And just keep looking & writing what you see.

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Vince just posted his:

There is a meetup every Saturday at 9pm (AEST)
There is also one each Monday 6 am ( AEST)
One each Wednesday at 3pm (AEST)
Please note that it's always the same time on the same link�
Arriving late and leaving early is fine.

You can convert time zones here; https://www.worldtimebuddy.com

Click here to Join Zoom Meeting

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86991485768?p ... 12Um5DQT09

[Shubo]

Hi Stacy,

Thanks for the meeting info.

Stories and doubts are getting in the way of seeing the reality for sure. It's not that I refuse to see them as they are but sometimes it's hard to sort out what's real and what's thought.

That is why I need your help.

Yong

[Shubo]

Just to make sure, when you say "sense of self" did you mean the separate sense that you're in your head standing apart from others or the general sense of beingness/awareness?

[Anastacia42]

when you say "sense of self" did you mean the separate sense that you're in your head standing apart from others or the general sense of beingness/awareness?

That can get tricky, but the first one.