Dedicated Seeker Ready For The Push

[treelight]

Hey Celina,

🙂🙃🙂 Isn't it? 🙃🙂🙃

It seems that way. This is very hard to grasp because it’s not something that can be grasped? Does that make sense? It’s like my mind wants to make sure I don’t forget this, like I have something I need to remember, but then I “remember”, there’s no one here to remember anything. There is no entity inside of me called Celina, that’s just a bundle of ideas. Trying to “remember” this is just activating the mind structure that has been seen through as not true.

I didn't do anything, did I? Or do you think there is some kind of "director" here? 🤪

I’m really glad you asked that question, because I hadn’t really considered yet that NO ONE has a director & NOTHING has a director. I was so taken aback by myself not having a director that I’ve been a bit dumbfounded the last few days lol.

No, you couldn’t have done anything…

This is just an idea, of course, but it feels as if my mind is slowly trying to adjust to this. I feel a little disoriented, almost, like my body is unsure to react to what I’ve seen.

It does still feel like “I’m here”, my partner is sitting “over there”. Yes, those are just ideas, but I want to make sure I articulate what’s happening here as directly as possible. Physically, it feels that way.

Is there a Celina in reality? No. It could be said there is a body here that people call Celina, but even that statement has a lot of labels that aren’t reality itself. What is a body? We don’t know, we just call it that lol. But because of the way bodies work, I still feel kind of like I’m… inside of the body? But that’s just an idea, when I look into it. I can’t find anything called Celina in reality, so how can Celina be inside of the body?

What has been seen for sure is that there is no one here to awaken. That was always just thoughts about a fictitious person needing to improve. Thought isn’t being created by anyone, thought just IS.

[Magdalena]

Hello, Celina, morning, 😉

This is very hard to grasp because it’s not something that can be grasped?

Is it necessary to “grasp” anything?

It’s like my mind wants to make sure I don’t forget this, like I have something I need to remember

Give “mind” a break – send it packing, will you? 😉 It deserves a good, long holiday, you know. 😉
Btw, once these things are seen, they cannot be "unseen". So, really, just sit back and relax. No need to take any action. Enjoy.

Trying to “remember” this is just activating the mind structure that has been seen through as not true.

Oh yes LOL

NO ONE has a director & NOTHING has a director.

This is mind-blowing when really seen deeply. It puts an end to all kinds of stories – just like that, no effort needed and no questions asked.

… it feels as if my mind is slowly trying to adjust to this. I feel a little disoriented, almost, like my body is unsure to react to what I’ve seen.

Give “mind” a break. “Body” will take care of itself. You’ll be just fine, no worries.


Now for some interesting stuff:

… there is a body here that people call Celina

…how can Celina be inside of the body?

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes.
Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:
Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?
In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?
Is there an inside or an outside?
If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?
What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?
What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?
Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc) before replying.

It does still feel like “I’m here”, my partner is sitting “over there”.

Lie on your back and relax. Have a look at the ceiling.
There is thought to be a distance between that what is thought to be known as “body” and that what is labelled “ceiling”.
Close your eyes. Now focus on the space between body and ceiling.
Take your time, breathe in and out and simply look. Keep the eyes shut.
What do you notice?
Is there a body? Is there a ceiling? Is there a distance?

What has been seen for sure is that there is no one here to awaken. That was always just thoughts about a fictitious person needing to improve. Thought isn’t being created by anyone, thought just IS.

Perfect. 😊😊😊

Happy experimenting (remember to answer all the questions).

[treelight]

Hi, Magdalena ❤️

Is it necessary to “grasp” anything?

No, it’s the fictitious “person” that needs to grasp. When it’s seen that person isn’t here, what is there to hold onto, and who would be doing the holding? It’s just ideas imposed onto reality.

Give “mind” a break – send it packing, will you? 😉 It deserves a good, long holiday, you know. 😉
Btw, once these things are seen, they cannot be "unseen". So, really, just sit back and relax. No need to take any action. Enjoy.

Thank you. ❤️ Yes, mind does deserve a holiday. “I’m” sending it packing.

Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:
Can it be known how tall the body is?

No. When I go to check direct experience, without any thought or images, it feels like open space. It’s not even clear where it ends or begins, so how could it be measured?

Does the body have a weight or volume?

No. Sensations appear and those sensations don’t have any weight. Nothing else can be found that can even be described as a label or a body.

In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

No. In actual experience, I can’t find what the body is. There are sensations here, and mind can suggest that those sensations are happening inside of a body, but when I go to look, it’s as if they are just floating where they are. I can’t find edges to the body or sensations, so what shape could it have? The “body”, when I look, seems quite formless, actually.

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?

I had to really, really sit with this question. No. I can’t say “my body starts here, clothes start there”. In actual experience, there are just sensations appearing in the same “space”.

Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

No. Again, I can’t say “my body starts here, chair is there”. It’s too open of a space to say that and I don’t find any edges suggesting where the boundary would be.

Is there an inside or an outside?

Wow. The mind says that there is, and certain sensations appearing do seem as they are “inside”, whereas what I’m seeing seems like it’s “outside”. But in reality, when I go to look, there is no boundary at all. Where does inside begin? Where does outside begin? When I ignore the thoughts that speak about where inside is, I can say with confidence that an inside can’t be found.

I am going to keep looking. This is not as clear for me as some of the other questions you’ve asked.

If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?

Yeah, this question is incredible LOL. It doesn’t make sense when looking in direct experience. I can’t find something substantial or real called inside, and it falls apart even more when asked in this way.

If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

Hm. “Outside” is what I’m “seeing”. That feels so very real to me. But when I look into this with direct experience, I can’t find an inside or outside boundary. There is nothing truly there to point at and say “hey, I found it”!

It’s just like “the self”, always missing in action LOL

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?

Nothing. Thoughts don’t refer to anything, they’re an inaccurate label slapped onto reality by the mind.

What is the ACTUAL experience of the body? Look very carefully, especially with the last question.

Openness. Space-like. Mysterious and hard to describe.

Lie on your back and relax. Have a look at the ceiling.
There is thought to be a distance between that what is thought to be known as “body” and that what is labelled “ceiling”.
Close your eyes. Now focus on the space between body and ceiling.
Take your time, breathe in and out and simply look. Keep the eyes shut.
What do you notice?
Is there a body? Is there a ceiling? Is there a distance?

I notice that things don’t have a boundary. Everything is appearing in this space-like…thing, that can’t be called a thing.

There is no body, it can’t be quantified like that.

There is no ceiling…in fact, when I go to look, I see the ceiling is an idea.

Distance cannot be found here. It’s just…yeah, it’s not here.

[Magdalena]

Hello, Celina,

Lovely answers – all of them. Just keep looking at this stuff in daily life, when working, washing, cooking, driving, walking, speaking to people, etc.

It’s just like “the self”, always missing in action LOL

What a fun way to put it. LOL

There is no body, it can’t be quantified like that.
There is no ceiling…in fact, when I go to look, I see the ceiling is an idea.
Distance cannot be found here. It’s just…yeah, it’s not here.

How does it feel to see this?

[treelight]

Hello, Magdalena 😊

Just keep looking at this stuff in daily life, when working, washing, cooking, driving, walking, speaking to people, etc.

I want to touch in and let you know what’s going on here.

I have continued looking into inside and outside, thoughts about body, sensations, etc. I am definitely feeling clearer on these now.

I also kind of dropped looking into those things for awhile and a natural looking took place on its own. I noticed that the space where thoughts appear is the space where everything appears, including the body, and it’s not inside of anything. Ever since then, things feel light and I feel delighted in touching into this deeply alive place. It is starting to feel like it doesn’t matter if I “feel like I’m inside of my body” in an energetic way, because if that appears, it can be seen what it’s appearing in!

There’s still no one to wake up, and I can’t tell you how relieving that is 😉

How does it feel to see this?

At first it felt incredibly confusing. It’s like I could see what I was saying but couldn’t “nail it down”. Now that I’ve found that “space” where everything is appearing, I’m feeling more certain I’m what I’m seeing. It can’t be talked about but it’s always here.

[treelight]

Now that I’ve found that “space” where everything is appearing, I’m feeling more certain I’m what I’m seeing.

*in what I’m seeing

[Magdalena]

Hello, Celina 😊😊😊

I also kind of dropped looking into those things for awhile and a natural looking took place on its own…

This is beautiful. Music to my ears. 😉


Here’s two more experiments that you might be interested to try. If not, just don’t.
Deeper Body Investigation
Here is an even deeper investigation of the body. Please follow each step, don't leave out any. Take your time. Don't move to the next step until the previous one is clearly seen.
Repeat the exercise several times.
Stand in front of a bigger mirror.
(1) First, close the eyes and feel the sensations labelled ‘body’.
(2) Then open the eyes and look into the mirror while still paying attention to the sensations.
Is there any connection between the felt sensations and the image in the mirror?
Or just thoughts (and/or mental images) suggest that there is?
(3) While still paying attention to the sensations move one hand and observe the movement from the mirror.
Is there any connection between the felt sensations (labelled ‘hand’) and image of movement in the mirror?
(4) Now do the same movement with the hand, but this time look at the hand directly, not from the mirror.
Is there any connection between the felt sensations (labelled ‘hand’) and the image ‘of movement’? Or only thoughts suggest it?
(5) Now, pay attention only to the image in the mirror.
Does the image by itself suggest in any way that is ‘you’ or ‘your body’?
Does the image itself suggest in any way that it is a ‘body’ at all?
Or are there only colours and shapes?
(6) Where the mirror ends, some parts of the body (probably legs) cannot be seen.
Just by the image in the mirror, is there any ‘knowledge’ that there must be legs, or only thoughts and mental images suggest so?
(7) Now turn away from the mirror and look forward (don’t look directly to any body parts).
Is there a ‘body’ anywhere when all thoughts and images are ignored, or are there only sensations?
(8) Start to walk slowly.
Is there a ‘body walking’, or are there only sensations?
Is there actual experience of ‘walking’ at all?
Or just THOUGHTS ABOUT ‘walking’?
Can such a thing as ‘body’ be found OR just THOUGHTS ABOUT a ‘body’?
Can such a thing as ‘walking’ be found?
(9) Are the sensations localized in space, like ‘going through the room’; OR is there only
an image that is labelled ‘room’ and appearing sensations without any location?

Sight-Sensation Correlation Exercise
1. Close the eyes and hold up one hand. Pay attention only to the felt sensations ‘of the hand’.
2. Open the eyes, and now observe the hand by looking only.
3. While looking at the hand, pay attention to the felt sensations.
Repeat 1 to 3 as many times as needed and investigate. Normally we believe that the sensation is coming from the sight, the ‘object’ seen (hand). But if you look, is there any link between the sensation and the sight? In other words, is the sensation ‘coming from’ the sight (labelled as hand) or only thoughts and mental constructs link them?
Can you see that both the ‘visual sight’ and the sensation appear simultaneously but ‘separately’, meaning that none of them is coming from the other or contained by the other?
So they just appear equally, ‘beside’ each other without any hierarchy or link between them?
You can repeat the exercise with all of body parts. For the head you can use a mirror.


As always, relax and enjoy. (What else is there to do?) 😉

[treelight]

Hello, Magdalena! 🙏🥰

I tried both of these practices and both were very cool. It was especially fascinating to see during the “Sight-Sensation Correlation Exercise” that sensations don’t actually correspond with our image or thoughts of them. I will play with these some more when it feels right.

The last day and a half or so, I have found myself trying to improve the person/character again. I’m getting clear on this right now and actually find it helpful to know that I can use this as a way to know when things have become unclear — there’s nothing to improve and there’s no one to improve it. I can’t say things have felt consistently light or clear for me since I saw that there is no entity here; but I am catching on quick to when the mind is trying to take credit again or prop itself back up as authority.

I hope you’re well!

[Magdalena]

Hey, Celina,

Good to hear from you.

I will play with these some more when it feels right.

That’s the attitude: play and enjoy, or don’t play – and enjoy all the same. ;)

I have found myself trying to improve the person/character again. I’m getting clear on this right now and actually find it helpful to know that I can use this as a way to know when things have become unclear…

Yes, it’s good to use it as an indicator of sorts. Not sure if it’s about things becoming unclear (how could they ever?), but simply a moment of slipping into old habits perhaps?

— there’s nothing to improve and there’s no one to improve it.

Is this how it feels, or simply a repetition of something someone said or wrote?

I mean there’s nothing wrong with a thought coming to say “I should be more careful with words when I talk to this or that person” or “I need to drive more carefully”, right? Thoughts come and go, and sometimes it’s enough to simply notice the need to do this or that for things to change sort of automatically “next time” a certain situation happens. Point is not to go into beating yourself up about past events, or devising whole rigid strategies about how to act and become that better version of you. So what works for me is to acknowledge the thought, blow it a kiss, and if it gets too loud, just do the drunk-at-the-bus-stop thing.

That said, nobody is perfect, and there is no need for “you” to be perfect, either.

Also, when “failing” to meet one’s own or other people’s expectations, it may be helpful to notice that whatever happens can only happen in the one and only way in which it does happen. If it could be happening any differently, it simply would be, wouldn’t it?

Not to mention the fact that once we do or say something, by the time we perceive it, it’s already happened, and that’s that.

I can’t say things have felt consistently light or clear for me since I saw that there is no entity here; but I am catching on quick to when the mind is trying to take credit again or prop itself back up as authority.

That’s good.
You may like to watch this video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJQcD588g2w&t=8s

I hope you’re well!

I am, thanks – hope you are, too. ;)

[treelight]

Hi there, Magdalena ☺️ This might be a bit scattered or all over the place, I tried to not edit much and let it be raw!

Yes, it’s good to use it as an indicator of sorts. Not sure if it’s about things becoming unclear (how could they ever?), but simply a moment of slipping into old habits perhaps?

It honestly feels like “I’ve got it/I lost it”. It feels like grace being given and then it’s taken away. And I’m not trying to describe an experience or a state — it feels like sometimes I’m very clear on no one being here (and no one to see that) and other times I feel so confused/away from truth. It doesn’t seem to matter that I know that what we’re talking about has nothing to do with confusion or realization or anything like that. It still impacts me and what I’m trying to understand.

That being said, today I realized something! :)

Everything I just described is happening to the character and it’s all happening in thought, it has no solidity in reality whatsoever. The character doesn’t “have this”, there’s nothing to have. Feelings of “having this” can come and go for the character, and those feelings aren’t it, but also are it LOL.

Timelines (past and future) only exist in thought too. it’s all just coming back to thought. It’s making me smile, because I’m not controlling thought. What is there to do but relax and enjoy right now? Everything else is illusion.

Is this how it feels, or simply a repetition of something someone said or wrote?

When I wrote it, I wasn’t feeling it, I was remembering it. It was seen very clearly, so even though it felt like personal energy was with me at the time of writing it, that “personal energy” could remember what had been seen.

It feels a bit different now. Right now, it’s like…

thought isn’t being created, anything I could say would be a concept, and time is beginning to be seen as a story/not entirely true.

In fact, I think all of it is a story. That’s what the mind does. That’s what the self is. It’s a story that Life is playing out for itself/with itself. My character has a “I Got It!/I Lost It!” plot line, found only in thought. Seeing this makes me gently smile. I know I’m not doing any of this, so I guess Life likes playing peek-a-boo with itself lol.

I’m also looking into the mind myth of a “final realization” where you finally get to rest/finally “have this”. That is always rooted in the future, which is being perpetuated by thought/self-referencing. It’s just…not true. It’s not an end of the story/life problems, just an end of a belief in the characters/choice/doership.

Time has still felt real here, but again, a natural looking is occurring without the character being involved. I know the character can’t get any thing, because she’s only found in thought, so no matter how bad she wants to “have this”, it won’t happen like that.

I mean there’s nothing wrong with a thought coming to say “I should be more careful with words when I talk to this or that person” or “I need to drive more carefully”, right? Thoughts come and go, and sometimes it’s enough to simply notice the need to do this or that for things to change sort of automatically “next time” a certain situation happens. Point is not to go into beating yourself up about past events, or devising whole rigid strategies about how to act and become that better version of you. So what works for me is to acknowledge the thought, blow it a kiss, and if it gets too loud, just do the drunk-at-the-bus-stop thing.

Yeah, I was operating inside of the “better version of me” thing. It’s sneaky LOL. 😝 But there is no future to be found in reality, so what in the world would I be improving? It’s like chasing a phantom or ghost. Impossible. Ridiculous.

Also, when “failing” to meet one’s own or other people’s expectations, it may be helpful to notice that whatever happens can only happen in the one and only way in which it does happen. If it could be happening any differently, it simply would be, wouldn’t it?

Not to mention the fact that once we do or say something, by the time we perceive it, it’s already happened, and that’s that.

Yeah. Absolutely. The character wants to thrash against everything you just said, but I’m smiling at her. :P Thought IS the character. My character seems to get swept back up by specific thoughts, usually ones based around spirituality. Seeing this clearly seems helpful, because continuous striving and “getting and sustaining realization” is the goal for this illusory self. That too is… all just a bunch of thought.

[Magdalena]

Hello, Celina,

Good to hear from you. :)

It honestly feels like “I’ve got it/I lost it”. It feels like grace being given and then it’s taken away. And I’m not trying to describe an experience or a state — it feels like sometimes I’m very clear on no one being here (and no one to see that) and other times I feel so confused/away from truth. It doesn’t seem to matter that I know that what we’re talking about has nothing to do with confusion or realization or anything like that. It still impacts me and what I’m trying to understand.

OK, consider this: do you think you’d be able to effectively function in daily life, i.e. work, walk, drive, talk, cook, etc. etc., from that no-one perspective? Be careful what you wish for. ;-)

Everything I just described is happening to the character and it’s all happening in thought, it has no solidity in reality whatsoever. The character doesn’t “have this”, there’s nothing to have. Feelings of “having this” can come and go for the character, and those feelings aren’t it, but also are it LOL.

Yes LOL

Timelines (past and future) only exist in thought too. it’s all just coming back to thought. It’s making me smile, because I’m not controlling thought. What is there to do but relax and enjoy right now? Everything else is illusion.

Oh totally – relax and enjoy. Don’t you just love it? ;)

thought isn’t being created, anything I could say would be a concept, and time is beginning to be seen as a story/not entirely true.

OK.

In fact, I think all of it is a story. That’s what the mind does. That’s what the self is. It’s a story that Life is playing out for itself/with itself. My character has a “I Got It!/I Lost It!” plot line, found only in thought. Seeing this makes me gently smile. I know I’m not doing any of this, so I guess Life likes playing peek-a-boo with itself lol.

It’s funny to see it, isn’t it?

I’m also looking into the mind myth of a “final realization” where you finally get to rest/finally “have this”. That is always rooted in the future, which is being perpetuated by thought/self-referencing. It’s just…not true. It’s not an end of the story/life problems, just an end of a belief in the characters/choice/doership.

Well, even problems are not really problems – until you put the label of “problems” on them. ;-)

Time has still felt real here, but again, a natural looking is occurring without the character being involved. I know the character can’t get any thing, because she’s only found in thought, so no matter how bad she wants to “have this”, it won’t happen like that.

OK.

Yeah, I was operating inside of the “better version of me” thing. It’s sneaky LOL. 😝 But there is no future to be found in reality, so what in the world would I be improving? It’s like chasing a phantom or ghost. Impossible. Ridiculous.

Totally. LOL

Yeah. Absolutely. The character wants to thrash against everything you just said, but I’m smiling at her. :P Thought IS the character. My character seems to get swept back up by specific thoughts, usually ones based around spirituality. Seeing this clearly seems helpful, because continuous striving and “getting and sustaining realization” is the goal for this illusory self. That too is… all just a bunch of thought.

Isn’t it? LOL

Now tell me:
What is this Dedicated Seeker now?
Is that Dedicated Seeking still going on?

[treelight]

OK, consider this: do you think you’d be able to effectively function in daily life, i.e. work, walk, drive, talk, cook, etc. etc., from that no-one perspective? Be careful what you wish for. ;-)

I genuinely appreciate this perspective, thank you. No, it’d probably get difficult. Not to mention, it just doesn’t make sense? Things change, that’s how everything works. I can’t expect to “feel enlightened” 24/7, that’s just the mind trying to find something that doesn’t exist. I got very honest with myself last night about what stones had been left unturned and the main thing I took away is that I know truth/have seen truth a hundred times. My mind just doesn’t like truth and wants to seek for something else. I’m done. I can’t and won’t do this anymore. All I have is what’s in front of me and that’s enough, because it’s real.

Well, even problems are not really problems – until you put the label of “problems” on them. ;-)

Yeah, absolutely. I see that. ☺️

What is this Dedicated Seeker now?

Thoughts, expectations, beliefs, a bunch of mind shit, essentially. It’s not an entity and it’s not me. When we began talking, seeker was already very tired (seekers can’t be tired, they’re thoughts, but you know what I mean). Now she is being retired, so to speak. It’s not that I found out who I was. It’s that I saw how much suffering I was in from seeking and throwing away what was in front of me. That won’t continue, because it can’t. It hurt so badly and I see it was all just mind keeping me busy.

Is that Dedicated Seeking still going on?

No. Whenever I see I’m projecting into the future or looking for something that’s not here, “I” stop. I don’t care in the same way anymore. I realized enlightenment is not what I thought it would be (duh, but I had to get there myself). I’m tired of looking, I want to live my life.

[treelight]

I just want to add that I realized I was clinging to delusions. They’re being dropped, like a hot coal that burns ones’ hand. You let it go the second you realize how badly it hurts.

[Magdalena]

No, it’d probably get difficult. Not to mention, it just doesn’t make sense? Things change, that’s how everything works. I can’t expect to “feel enlightened” 24/7, that’s just the mind trying to find something that doesn’t exist.

Got you, Celina lol
I was pulling your leg a bit there lol
And you accept anything I say as if I had some authority that you don't.

I mean, surely, you wouldn't want to end up like Ramana, would you? You'd then need a team of dedicated disciples to put food in your mouth and a diaper on your bum just to get through the day, right?

But the question is rather: Is there any difference between "feeling enlightened" and "feeling unenlightened", other than conceptual labelling of each, i.e. mind stuff?

Oh, and you think we can know what exists and what doesn't? How?

I got very honest with myself last night about what stones had been left unturned and the main thing I took away is that I know truth/have seen truth a hundred times.

What makes you think it's "truth"?

My mind just doesn’t like truth and wants to seek for something else. I’m done. I can’t and won’t do this anymore.

Trying to be in control again, are we? Lol

All I have is what’s in front of me and that’s enough, because it’s real.

My, you like big words, do you?
I don't know about "real", honestly. How about "accessible"?

It’s not an entity and it’s not me.

No, it's not an entity, it's made of thought stuff etc. - so what is it?
Just say it - what's the word??
Why did Dedicated Seeker make it to your thread title in the first place (no stories about how long, how intense, etc. please)?

Now she is being retired, so to speak.

Like taking a break, you mean? Having a holiday?

It’s not that I found out who I was.

Are you still hoping to?

It’s that I saw how much suffering I was in from seeking and throwing away what was in front of me. That won’t continue, because it can’t.

That much makes sense.
So now what?

I realized enlightenment is not what I thought it would be (duh, but I had to get there myself).

Wait, what? 🤣🤣🤣

I’m tired of looking, I want to live my life.

What's holding you?

I just want to add that I realized I was clinging to delusions. They’re being dropped, like a hot coal that burns ones’ hand. You let it go the second you realize how badly it hurts.

There is something in it. But wow how cutely spiritual do you make it sound. 😉

Looking forward to hearing from you. 😎 We're not done yet.

[treelight]

Hello! 👋

And you accept anything I say as if I had some authority that you don't.

You’re right, I’ve been doing that. Let me be more clear. I don’t think you have something that I don’t. That’s just thoughts.

But the question is rather: Is there any difference between "feeling enlightened" and "feeling unenlightened", other than conceptual labelling of each, i.e. mind stuff?

Nope. That’s why I said “I” was giving up, I am seeing I was chasing ghosts and trying to get away from what’s here. It’s not a new goal or a new “thing to do”, like I’m suddenly a person who can choose to surrender. I see there is no control. I was trying to share to you that I saw any striving to be pointless, because it’s all based on concept. Getting something in the future, changing experience and saying how it’s going to be.. no one can actually do that, so it’s a mind loop. I’m getting off the track. I’m not choosing to do that, it just what’s here now. All story, but I’m trying to say it as clearly as possible.

Oh, and you think we can know what exists and what doesn't? How?

I don’t trust what my mind tells me about reality. There is no truth to thought. In fact, there’s not a single thought that can be believed over another. They’re all the same. Mirages.

What makes you think it's "truth"?

I used truth to differentiate between being lost in mind and not. But I understand what you’re saying. There is no “truth” to be found, no concept can be trusted as “real”. In reality, there is no mind to be lost in.

Trying to be in control again, are we? Lol

I don’t think so, but maybe you’re right.

My, you like big words, do you?
I don't know about "real", honestly. How about "accessible"?

Sure. The words don’t really matter.

No, it's not an entity, it's made of thought stuff etc. - so what is it?
Just say it - what's the word??

Fiction. But any word is just the mind’s labeling.

Why did Dedicated Seeker make it to your thread title in the first place (no stories about how long, how intense, etc. please)?

Because I couldn’t quit seeking. I can’t make myself stop either, there’s no entity here to do that. I just see that there’s nothing to grasp.

Like taking a break, you mean? Having a holiday?

No. The seeker isn’t real, it was just phrasing.

Are you still hoping to?

No, that would be grasping for a concept, something I could or should call myself. More fiction.

That much makes sense.
So now what?

Nothing changes.

Wait, what? 🤣🤣🤣

I was seeking for something fictitious that I called a lot of different names, all pointing to the same thing (freedom, waking up, liberation, etc). It’s all false and I see that, that’s what I was trying to share.

What's holding you?

Nothing.

There is something in it. But wow how cutely spiritual do you make it sound. 😉

Looking forward to hearing from you. 😎 We're not done yet.

Hope you’re well, looking forward to hearing from you