Doubtful

[Ixilay]

Hi Alan,

All good, we made a project to keep the caravan's door closed, it seems to be working for now:)

So yesterday was actually a storm of"me, myself n i thoughts'mixed with anxiety, contrary to what was expected. There was no time to sit n be alone and look what s going on, so it felt like a fertile ground for the hypnotic me thoughts n then more commentary over how 'i lost the serene witnessing that i had'. So it was not much fun, yet this morning it seems the clouds are clearing n more of a wirnessing quality is here. I see that the more challenging of all thpughts these days is about " oh, it s back, so i failed" kind of ones. They grip all the attention n hardly let go.
I have a feeling this is how this process is going to go, some ups n downs, found it n lose it thoughts, disappointment n relief hand in hand. I can say that now when mind is prominent, it feels so uncomfortable that a need to look deeper shows up sooner or later.

So this is how things are here:)

Love

Isil

[Alless]

What you describe here Isil seems to be a classic example of what Lisa Kahale described in the video clip you saw a while back titled "Sometimes, Waking Up Goes Back and Forth a Bit".

Here’s the link again in case you want to take another look.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUDzrCLlrj4

From the work we've done together and with feedback from other guides there is much to suggest the "gateless gate has been crossed", which is the label used here at LU to express that there has been authentic seeing of the truth of no self.

Now the truth is you're the only one who really knows whether that has happened. Whether you have found home or not and how clear the truth is for you that there is no self, only you really can know. Seeing that there is no separate self is one thing. Living from that truth of no-self is another of which there is an ongoing unfolding. This includes typically subtler and subtler insights as well as emotional shadow discoveries.

Seeing that there is no such thing as a separate self is just the beginning of a wonderful rich never ending unfolding and exploration of life.

So at this stage we can wrap up the thread and look at options offline which may resonate in helping the on-going exploration. Or, if you would like to continue a little further on this thread that is a real option too.

I'll be guided by what you feel is best for you right now. So just checking in again.

What do you feel?



With love



Alan

[Ixilay]

Hi Alan,
I feel it s time to wrap up as well and i really feel the truth in what you say here:" living from this truth is another thing".

So i m happy to explore other options that could be of any support along the way.

Thank you so so much. I dont know if i ve ever recived a gift that precious and if i ever felt it that unconditional. I m truly grateful for everything.

Love
Isil

[Alless]

That's great Isil

And as you already know, and it's so important that it bears repeating, one of the fundamental truths here is to be able to continue to see the story AND the sensation in emotions that arise - as you are already doing. Sitting with sensations is absolutely key to this on-going unbinding. FEELING into sensation without interpretation is another approach to experience that we need to use again and again. Sometimes we can drop straight into it. Other times we find it really challenging.

LOOKING and FEELING are the tools that are always at our disposal to be used over and over again.
Separating thought from sensation is the most important thing that has to happen. So important because this in the main tool that will carry you through as realizations deepen - and basically is the only tool. Only one thing to look and feel into – is it real or not real? - am I seeing this right now or am I thinking this? Direct experience is the most important aspect of the exploration.

And in this context when doubts and sense of self are still recognized, keep looking into what that sense of self consists of and if it refers to anything real. As you likely have picked from your fetter work sometimes fetters just weaken rather than break which leaves a lingering subtle sense of self that calls for on-going attention.

It is sometimes helpful to dig into the "how to" about this in a face to face conversation on Zoom or WhatsApp or such like mediums. I will send you my email in a private message if you would like to have a chat about it further.

Some additional information and resources
First of all, there will be a message from Nerina or someone in admin arriving in your inbox. Let me know if you do not spot it.

Your username will change from green to blue. This thread will be moved to the ‘Archive’ section of the forum, but you will be able to access it.

And Isil let me suggest you might consider guiding on the forum here. It can be very rewarding and it help you deepen your understanding. Let’s chat if that resonates with you.


Also there are some Zoom meetings that can be helpful. Meetups where people being guided and guides meet to share experience and enquire together
Vince Shubert runs 2 or 3 meetups each week at various times to suit different time zones. Write to vinceschubert@gmail.com for the link & schedule.
If you would like to check out what happens in Vince’s meetups here is Vince’s You tube channel where you can look at recordings of previous meetups
https://www.youtube.com/@vinceschubert

Luchana & Lubo run one on Thursdays in Europe. Write to Luchana at luchanauzunova@gmail.com

Ilona holds a monthly meeting. Write admin@ilonaciunaite.com for that link & schedule


And just before I wrap up here there is something that Adyashanti wrote which is at the heart of living

It is this......

“The inner teacher is a rather subtle and obscure inner force. It arises in deep inner silence when you are truly humble and sincere. It is your deepest being reaching out to you. It often has the paradoxical feel of being deeply rooted within us but also has the feeling of otherness to it as well.


One of the functions of the outer teacher is to help orient you to the inner teacher by either confirming or questioning what you feel to be the inner teacher. Listening to your own deepest wisdom is the inner teacher. And learning what is and isn’t wise through trial and error is how you more precisely hone in on the authentic inner teacher.


It is a delicate and uncertain path to discover what is wise within you.



But it is essential.”



How beautiful !!! This inner knowing - this priceless, ultimate teacher and guide.

The love of truth will carry us all the way !!

It has been an absolute joy to be with you in this discovery Isil.


With love


Alan

PS Also Isil watch for a private message I will send you with my contact details for you to be in touch anytime you would like to.