Through the veil

[ty0]

Hey aldi

Any doubts? Any problems? Any questions?

[aldi]

Evening Tyler..
Liberation too strong a word for this - newness yet complete ordinary-ness. Lightness. Un-grasping. A quiet revelation. Questions have disappeared, doubts just thoughts. Residual identification still present.
Untangling comes in tiny moments.
Loving it!
Night night Tyler :)

[ty0]

Ahahahah yeah it's wonderful isn't it? It never "gets old" hahahah. You called it a quiet revelation which is nice cause there's nothing really being revealed (my arbitrary thoughts). Life will naturally trigger old beliefs to come up which you can then look into and see through. Residual identification/conditioning will hang around for a whiiiiile but it's really no problem and I'm sure you don't have the capacity to see it as a "problem" anymore.

Would you like the set of LU's final questions to answer? I could then share your answers with the other guides to see if everyone agrees that you're "through the gate" then once that's done (there may be extra questions) you're given access to additional parts of LU and a Facebook group of everyone who's gone through this. Totally optional and up to you.

You can continue working with me wherever you're at, though I'd just call it chatting at this point hahah. Anyway, update me when you feel like it. Good stuff aldi :)

[aldi]

Hey Tyler - thanks - and thanks for the invitation to work/chat more. And yes please to the LU questions.
Night :)

[ty0]

Here ya go

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

2) Describe how the illusion of an independent, self came into being by giving examples from actual experience.
Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion.

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) Can you remember any specific inquiry that resulted in an epiphany? ..a before and after seeing the actuality of the Self. Was there a point when you ‘got it’?

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how these things happen and how they work.

b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

6) Anything to add?

[aldi]

Hi Tyler - thanks for the questions - not through the gate yet!
Today has been an intense thought-fest.. re-visiting old emotional patterns. No let up. The questions provoked more thought and mostly I’m unable to answer from direct or actual experience. Here’s this evening’s post, very partial, but I’ll carry on tomorrow:

“ 1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?“

No and No

“2) Describe how the illusion of an independent, self came into being by giving examples from actual experience.
Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion”

Again, at least the first part of this question seems to require me to think and I’m a little uncomfortable answering it through thought (memory). There’s no “start-point” for this development though the word osmosis came in. Osmosis - very subtle - both in the development of the belief of independent self and in the relinquishing of that belief. When my granddaughter was born she was pure being, and that purity changed in some way as she “grew-up”.
In terms of actual lived experience, for the past couple of days there’s been a lightness and a non-grasping, both of which are newcomers! Today though, the persistent passage of thoughts and emotions was familiar from the past, and it felt constricted.

Time for bed! Will continue.
Night Tyler :)

[ty0]

Heya aldi, were the thoughts that came up triggered by the questions given or just spontaneous?

Don't worry about having to think and refer to memory to answer the questions. It's just about getting a feel for your felt experience of the world at this moment and in the past. What kind of emotions were coming up today and what triggered them?

[aldi]

Hey Tyler - as always, thanks for your post this morning. The very strong thought/emotion stream of yesterday had already shown itself slightly before I read the questions, but reading them provided the all-in trigger. Throughout yesterday there were periods of identification with hopelessness, anger, doubt and a suffering. The body felt heavy and constricted.
This morning I read your post with some relief. Emotions, particularly anger were still present but, unlike yesterday, I fully felt it today. Its heat eventually dissipated. I spent time in the garden again and felt an unusual sense of physical heaviness, a dullness. I was also untalkative, internal. The immediate trigger was a long-held and re-emerged belief that I haven’t “got it”. It took quite a long while to look at this and see through it, even though it was absurd! The capacity to look and not remain caught in the thoughts/the me, is since LU/Tyler. Tonight, while brushing my teeth in front of the bathroom mirror, all sense of a separate self looking out at an objective world momentarily disappeared into a simple unity. What I had always believed was a separate me was seen clearly as not separate at all.
Okay, time to go to sleep. Hope this isn’t too long, too roundabout! I’ll come back to the questions soon.
Night Tyler - appreciate your postings so much.

[ty0]

This morning I read your post with some relief. Emotions, particularly anger were still present but, unlike yesterday, I fully felt it today. Its heat eventually dissipated

I'm glad you didn't resist it. All an emotion ever demands from us is to simply feel it :)

The immediate trigger was a long-held and re-emerged belief that I haven’t “got it”. It took quite a long while to look at this and see through it, even though it was absurd!

Hahah! WHO hasn't got WHAT? 😂😂

Tonight, while brushing my teeth in front of the bathroom mirror, all sense of a separate self looking out at an objective world momentarily disappeared into a simple unity. What I had always believed was a separate me was seen clearly as not separate at all.

Ok, I want to challenge this. Was your experience REALLY anything like "unity" or "seeing that you're not separate"? Or are those just the interpretations you've conceived from your perspective as a self? In fact, did the experience not dissipate the moment you tried to define it as "unity" or whatever? Before thoughts, can you know anything about that experience?

Now that you look back on it, you can remember that "separation" wasn't there during the experience, but does that imply that there was a "unity" or "one-ness" or the opposite of separation? Or is it more like there wasn't any THING at all during the experience?

Okay, time to go to sleep. Hope this isn’t too long, too roundabout! I’ll come back to the questions soon.

No no not even remotely too long hahah. Don't worry about the questions if you aren't inclined to answer them yet. Go back to the "What's not a thought?" practice and see what happens there. Can you notice during the practice that even any "trying" is just a thought? Notice that any attempt to define or understand is just a thought. Go back to where it all stops.

[aldi]

Evening Tyler

“WHO hasn’t got WHAT?”

THE Reminder! Yes, absurd that the ‘me’ belief can still run the show. Hence ‘not through the gate yet’.

“Ok, I want to challenge this. Was your experience REALLY anything like "unity" or "seeing that you're not separate"? Or are those just the interpretations you've conceived from your perspective as a self? In fact, did the experience not dissipate the moment you tried to define it as "unity" or whatever? Before thoughts, can you know anything about that experience?

“ Now that you look back on it, you can remember that "separation" wasn't there during the experience, but does that imply that there was a "unity" or "one-ness" or the opposite of separation? Or is it more like there wasn't any THING at all during the experience?”

Yes, thoughts to describe the experience of.. . The actual experience isn’t in my memory. NO THING accurate.

“ Go back to the "What's not a thought?" practice and see what happens there. Can you notice during the practice that even any "trying" is just a thought? Notice that any attempt to define or understand is just a thought. Go back to where it all stops.”

Back to the practice. In the evening sit I asked the question which resulted in the question being repeated rapidly, unbidden, over and over again, no gaps. Didn’t try to stop it though not pleasant! Thoughts.
Later on as I’m writing my post I ask the question with my eyes open - there is the seen, the feeling of pressure in my head. Writing a description though is thought.

:)

[ty0]

If you have the doubt that you haven't got it yet, don't extrapolate that and say that there's still the 'me' belief running the show and you're not through the gate yet. You're just using thought to define things and place yourself somewhere on an imaginary map. Can you actually find a gate anywhere? If there's a doubt, see that it's a thought. It doesn't mean anything else. Nothing means anything else.

I'm getting the sense that you may be imagining that "you had some clarity before but there's still some belief of some kind holding you back and thus you have to go do the work to see through this to gain something". Can you see that this narrative is just a narrative that you may not be actively repeating in your mind but still taking it to be the actual situation you're in? It's the same as believing "your name is aldi, you're a man from Australia in his 70s and your hobbies are xyz and you often do xyz".

Do you see that all these narratives we place ourselves into only exist in the mind? One's age is not find-able in DE, nor is their occupation or gender or "level of awakeness" in the spiritual game. Even the dynamic of you having signed up at LU and me being your guide and blah blah blah isn't actually happening. As far as you're concerned, you aren't even reading words, nor is there a screen. There's just colours and shapes, without a see-er or seeing.

Try looking for the "me". Look for the subject. What are you? Where are you? Search

[aldi]

“If you have the doubt that you haven't got it yet, don't extrapolate that and say that there's still the 'me' belief running the show and you're not through the gate yet. You're just using thought to define things and place yourself somewhere on an imaginary map. Can you actually find a gate anywhere? If there's a doubt, see that it's a thought. It doesn't mean anything else. Nothing means anything else.“

Yes! Ok..

“I’m getting the sense that you may be imagining that "you had some clarity before but there's still some belief of some kind holding you back and thus you have to go do the work to see through this to gain something". Can you see that this narrative is just a narrative that you may not be actively repeating in your mind but still taking it to be the actual situation you're in? It's the same as believing "your name is aldi, you're a man from Australia in his 70s and your hobbies are xyz and you often do xyz".“

Very accurate sense. And yes, narrative being taken for real.

“Do you see that all these narratives we place ourselves into only exist in the mind? One's age is not find-able in DE, nor is their occupation or gender or "level of awakeness" in the spiritual game. Even the dynamic of you having signed up at LU and me being your guide and blah blah blah isn't actually happening. As far as you're concerned, you aren't even reading words, nor is there a screen. There's just colours and shapes, without a see-er or seeing.”

And again, yes.

“Try looking for the "me". Look for the subject. What are you? Where are you? Search”

No thing. Here, nowhere particular.
Thanks Tyler, for your clarity, your clear writing and your ability to guide..
Feeling
:)

[ty0]

No thing. Here, nowhere particular.

You said here is nowhere particular, what if I say here could also be everywhere? Is there anywhere apart from here?

Feeling

Is there feeling or are there just sensations and the other senses? If it still feels as though you are feeling, can you find feeling? What is feeling? Where is feeling? Is there a feel-er?

[aldi]

“You said here is nowhere particular, what if I say here could also be everywhere? Is there anywhere apart from here?”

Always here, nowhere apart from here, here is everywhere

“Is there feeling or are there just sensations and the other senses? If it still feels as though you are feeling, can you find feeling? What is feeling? Where is feeling? Is there a feel-er?”

Just sensations and other senses. Birdsong. Breeze on face. Ache in jaw. No feel-er.

[ty0]

Looks like the doubt was really just doubt as you've seen. Does "going through the gate" feel like a real thing anymore? Feel free to write out responses to the 6 questions I sent you a couple days ago if you're inclined to. Trying to formulate the answers and express your experience may even make some things for you :)