Awakening to no-self

[Samanthaqqz]

Good morning!

I hope I am on the right track.

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN' , what is the actual experience?

the actual experience is that i am looking at the label 'GREEN' as written or more truer... looking at the label 'GREEN'

Is the color red ‘experienced’, or is the color green ‘experienced’ as the label suggests?

No color is experienced.

Does the label ‘GREEN’ have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’? Or does the label suggest something else other than what is here now (red colour)?

the label 'GREEN' doesn't have a one-one-correspondence with 'reality', it's just a label. It does not suggest something else other than what is here now.

Is 'green' associated in any way with the experience of the colour red; or is green just a label that overlays the actual experience of red?

Neither

Does redness become ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or do the labels have no affect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

Labels have no affect whatsoever on reality, reality just is. Labels are labels, just descriptors, but no affect on what is.

Let me know what is SEEN

Same as above. Labels cannot be experienced and experience cannot be experienced through labels.

[Samanthaqqz]

I've been reading the book and listening to Ilona's podcast. For the first time today, I felt able to look at Samantha's character from a distance. When someone said something today that she felt hurt her self-image, the thoughts kept repeating over and over again in her mind. However, she was able to dissolve these thoughts by remembering that they were just the conditioning of the character and just thoughts. Paying attention to the sensation in her body helped.

However, recently, there is the fear of losing Samantha. She had gone through a self-love journey just last year and for the first time she loves herself, but to realize she is not real has been causing sorrow, a grieving of some sort. There is a fear to keep going forward, yet there is something there that says to keep going..

[Samanthaqqz]

is dissociation normal? I've been feeling uncomfortable.

[Anastacia42]

Good morning, Sam

sorry I've trouble accessing the site

A feeling if lightness. yes. maybe dissociation is fine.

Don't you see the Actual Experience of the color red?

With a green label that doesn't change the experience of red?

These aren't trick questions. There is color and it is red.

Can you see that?

Loving

[Samanthaqqz]

Hi! I am very sorry I never received an email notification that you responded and thought something happened. I checked for a few days after my last response and didn’t see anything.

I felt a lot of fear but I’d need to go there again to see what exactly I felt— contraction, heavy or light. It felt like I was outside of samantha- I felt I was going crazy. I will post every day or every other day regardless if there is response from you to share my progress.

[color=#0000FF]Don't you see the Actual Experience of the color red?[/color]

I see red. I know there is color. However, I question who is that is experiencing it and can a color be experienced or is just there to help create shapes.

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[color=#0000FF]With a green label that doesn't change the experience of red?[/color]

It doesn’t change the experience(seeing red). It sticks out, so I guess it’s an experience?

[Anastacia42]

Yes. Seeing color is a Direct Experience.

Naming the color is a thought, but we are making the point that the name doesn't change it. Good. You've got it.

Yes the site has been having some problems so it is a good idea just to check and post every day on your own.

I am on my cell phone. Did I give you this one yet?

Here is how to distinguish truth from lies.


We often lie every day & don't realize it.

For example, the grocery clerk asks, "How are you?" You reply, "I'm fine." While, yes. there is a sense in which we are always fine, even in the middle of suffering, at that moment, you were grieving the death of your dog, you had a slight sore throat & you had a headache, but you didn't feel like sharing all of that with the grocery clerk, so you lied, "I'm fine."

Also, it matters none at all how "distant" the remembered lie is. Besides the fact that time itself is fictional, a kind if lie, as we recall the lie it becomes present in this moment, as if it were happening now. This brings the body Sensation that accompanies lying.

Lies can be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious, even so automatic that we ourselves are fooled.

The story of a separate "self" is a lie.

This is the lie you came here to see through. Therefore, it is helpful to notice the body Sensation of lying as one of the tools for finding the truth of no self.

You want to be in touch with body Sensations & able to clearly express them in words. This will help.

Lies are usually felt in the heart or solar plexus as a contraction that we may label as tight, heavy or tense.

In contrast, truth is usually expansive. We may call it loose, light or relaxed.

First, can you remember a time when you lied to someone you loved?

Here we count anything, lies we think of as "big" or "small" that "matter" or don't "matter."

How are you? I'm fine. No, your knee hurts, but you don't feel like discussing it with the grocery clerk.

It's a lie. A seemingly "bigger" one will work better for this exercise.

Find the lie. I don't need the whole story, just a few key words to refer to it.

Then scan your body for any Sensation (DE or Direct Experience), particularly in the gut or maybe the heart. Check very closely.

What is found?

If you think the memory you used wasn't clear enough, find another one or lie to yourself right now, make something up.

1 + 1 = 14 is a lie.

I love eating worms is (probably) a lie.

Or call up a video of a lying politician & notice what Sensations arise as you listen.

I will give you a clue: it is not that peaceful Sensation you felt before when you omitted "I." (refers to an exercise I gave before this one)

Please report back with what body Sensations (not interpretations) you feel. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

"Peaceful" is an interpretation of a body Sensation, not the Sensation itself, for example.

Do you see that?

Loving,

[Samanthaqqz]

Thank you.

Got it!

Yes, I remember that one from before but thank you for bringing it up again. I’ve been paying more attention to what happening in the body. Different sensations.

I’ve been looking at the pointers on the app

[Anastacia42]

You can do that. Who is your next pointer that brings some of these things together

Actual/Direct Experience - Apple

Have a look at an apple (or any fruit you like.) If you have a ‘real’ apple, you can use it for this exercise. Google for a picture of an apple.



When looking at an apple, there's color; a thought saying ‘apple’; and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple."

What is known for sure? Color is known and thoughts are known.

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

Actual experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just more thought.

Actual experience is sound, thought, color, smell, taste, sensation and the fact of thought arising, but not its content.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in actual experience.

This is what is meant by "looking in actual experience." What you know for sure, and, is always here.

Taste labeled ‘apple’ is known
Color labeled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labeled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labeled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known

However, is an apple actually known?

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

[Samanthaqqz]

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

The describe shape, shades of color, lines (filled with color), pattern (again color)

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Only thought and thoughts about an apple

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

Apple cannot be found in actual experience because it’s not the Apple that is being experienced it’s either color, thought, smell touch and sensation.

However, is an apple actually known?

An apple cannot be known

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

Everything that I think I experience separate from “me” is a byproduct of memory(past), things outside of me can’t be known. It’s just there. Just is. Without the labels there is no Apple. Our mind is labelling, creating a separation.

[Anastacia42]

Yes. exactly!

Now try this:


Palm Flipping Exercise

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.

2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience.

Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:

How is the movement controlled?

Does a thought control it?

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Loving,

[Samanthaqqz]

Good afternoon!

How is the movement controlled?

It’s controlled through a memory of the sensation of the hand moving back and forth. Sensation labelled hand turned up and sensation labelled hand turning downs

does a thought control it?

A thought does not control it.

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

No, no controller can be found.

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

It almost doesn’t feel like a thought. It’s like a sensation maybe labelled as hand turned over, and there is a confirmation being made through seeing but it’s very subtle. I just can’t track any decision point for whatever reason. It’s like I can do it without thinking about it at all.

Who or what chose the hand- left or right for the exercise?

Samantha chose the right hand. Thought.

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Body awareness? It’s almost like the body has a mind of its own.

[Anastacia42]

Hi

You've kind of got it, but

How is the movement controlled?
It’s controlled through a memory

Isn't a memory a thought?

How exactly did this memory thought control anything?

Loving,

[Samanthaqqz]

Isn't a memory a thought?

That’s right a memory is a thought! I am sorry

How exactly did this memory thought control anything?

This memory thought isn’t controlling anything! There is no controller. The palm is just turning over on its own.

I’ll be heading over to a meditation retreat tomorrow. I’ll be back Monday evening! There won’t be any cellphone signal while I am away. I’ll be practicing self inquiry during meditation. Do you have anything else I can munch on while I am there?

Thank you very much!!!🙏 🙏

[Anastacia42]

Yes. Several recorded pointers in DropBox. Try these & be sure to listen to the Introduction.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ksba3zhi9uuz ... hsk1a?dl=0

Have fun & let me know what you experience with these.

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

If you won't have cell phone access to listen to these. try to listen to the Introduction & the first couple before you go. Then you can practice while you're there.

One thing to remember is that this is not about right answers. This is about the experience of seeing.

Here is another:

Explore ‘Sense of Self’

Let’s say that you have lost your keys and you swear that you left them in your coat. You go to look and check all the pockets - the keys are not there. You swear they must be as that was the last place you remember them. You have a vivid memory of putting them there after you left the house. But when you check they are not there. At this point you can keep believing that the keys are in your pocket, or you can admit you were mistaken.

This is just like that. You may see clearly that the self is an illusion but still feel a sense of self - just like the keys. But feeling something to be true and seeing that it is or is not is different. This is why we may find ourselves coming back to your expectations at the start and at the end.

Now, I’d like to ask you to explore this SENSE of self very-very thoroughly. Not by thinking about it, but by FEELING it. Keep the focus of attention on the sense of self and inquire:

Does the sense of self have a location?

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

What is found?

You don't have to do them again, but LOOK. What do they point to? [/color]

Loving,