Looking for a guide

[CarefulDog88]

Hi Alexis,

I’m sharing this because I think it was related to the sensation of release and relaxation in my chest after reading your words from yesterday—one release triggered another.

Thank you for sharing, yes this can happen, as the turning into the body deepens, the relaxing opens up the contractions that are deep within the body and these outpourings can be the result, along with the energetic body sensations releasing the contracted/blocked energy.

These outpourings are a good release, it is important to remember that they are experiences, and experiences come and go, and not to attach ourselves to them.

And now for my questions. I'm noticing an almost constant barrage of thoughts, some of them I'm just beginning to recognize as thoughts. (Before, they just felt like me talking to myself.) Is this barrage to be expected as we become more aware of our thoughts? Are thoughts the equivalent of images in a mirror?

This is common and yes it's because the thought stream is being noticed where as before it was just a constant screen play, now that you are seeing it and the thinness of it, you are actually noticing how much thought gets streamed and it's a lot.
I had a similar experience which lasted about 3 weeks. Everyone is different so it may last shorter or longer, there are no rules. What does happen is doubt starts to rear it's head and your thoughts are consumed by all sorts of doubt stories about the recognition of the true nature. If this happens then just return to the body and ask is this thought true?

I'm not going to give you anything to do, we can take a day or two to let this settle down, there maybe more or maybe not, so we can just let them play out for a bit. If there are more than a suggestion is to just relax into them and let them play out, let go and go with it. They're not dangerous and it's just the body and life happening.

If you would like something to do then just sit for as long as you like, 30 mins or longer, with a straight back, crossed legs and relax. Using your breath as a point of attention. as you breath in the nose and out the nose see if you can observe the sensation on the inside of your nose, and just do this, if thought arises then notice it and see it pass away.

Check back in tomorrow please, even just a short note, or questions.
Thanks Alexis

[Octobergrace]

What does happen is doubt starts to rear it's head and your thoughts are consumed by all sorts of doubt stories about the recognition of the true nature. If this happens then just return to the body and ask is this thought true?

Yes! You've described exactly what is happening--so much doubt and so personalized ("you never", "you always", "you can't", blah, blah, blah)....Thanks for letting me know this is common. That really helped.

It's nice to take this little break. It feels like space to settle down and let go. Letting go feels key. Today I felt moments of what you say in your signature line--loving kindness. Like it permeates everything and perhaps is everything. So much gratitude for you and this forum.

[CarefulDog88]

Hi Alexis,
Yes letting Go, is key and it sounds like you are doing this.
The gratitude is mine for allowing me to guide you, so thank you.
Check in again tomorrow and if you need to ask or feel anyway let me know please.

[Octobergrace]

Hello Paul,

This break continues to be a period of settling down and letting go. The thoughts keep coming and I’m beginning to see how immersed I am in a thought world. It’s truly amazing that I’ve lived like this for so long and never noticed! The absurdity makes me laugh sometimes. Fortunately, I’m noticing thoughts earlier and remembering to return to DE sooner. DE feels more and more restful and lovely. Colors seem more vibrant. I continue to feel some deep constrictions come into my awareness and let go a bit.

Thank you for your guidance,
Alexis

[Octobergrace]

Hello Paul. A few hours after writing to you last night I realized that on a very subtle level, I was making the existence of thoughts wrong--like the fact of their existence was problematic. And then I realized on a much deeper level, that they are just thoughts! Haha!! Not bad, not good, just thoughts that come, then go. I see why people analogize them to clouds in the sky or waves on the ocean.

I feel so much lighter--no more of that subtle battle against thoughts that I didn't even notice I doing. Now I feel so curious about where they come from, where they disappear to. Doubt thoughts are still streaming in and out but less "sticky" as I've heard some people call it.

[CarefulDog88]

Beautiful thoughts just like a sensation comes and goes watch them both.
Where do they come from and where do they go?

[Octobergrace]

Hello Paul, here's a quick check-in.

Beautiful thoughts just like a sensation comes and goes watch them both.
Where do they come from and where do they go?

I've been asking where thoughts come from and where they go and at first I think I was asking my mind for an answer, but now it feels like the question goes into a deep stillness, and in an unexplainable way, that feels like the answer.

More and more layers of doubt thoughts keep coming up that say things like "you're making this all up" and "you're imagining this". Sometimes the thoughts are very convincing but going into DE makes a difference, and your comment that you went through a period of doubt thoughts and that it's a common experience also helps me not to go down that hole.

Thank you!

[CarefulDog88]

Hi Alexis,
Thank you for checking in.
Yes thoughts are persistent, it is the story that is the illusion,
These doubt thoughts are the illusion and thoughts can’t destroy thoughts as you noticed.

Notice that thoughts are just happening.
Notice that sensations are just happening.

Notice life happening.

Let me know if you are ready to continue our dialogue.
🙏

[Octobergrace]

Let me know if you are ready to continue our dialogue.

Hello Paul. Yes, I'm ready to continue.

[CarefulDog88]

Hi Alexis,

Go out into nature and spend some time watching the movement of the whole. See how clouds
move, trees swing, leaves wiggle, grass moves, insects, birds - all move all the time.
Then move focus to sensations and see how they too are in constant motion, thoughts come
and go, sounds, colours, sensations come and go.
Notice that everything is part of one movement.
Then close your eyes and see if there is a line between you and out there, between you and life
itself.
If yes, where is the boundary?

Is there an inside and an outside of Life?

Is there something which is not included in the movement of the whole?

Is there a witness that is watching life happening from a distance?

Is witnessing part of the one movement too?

Is there anything which is not just happening?
Go out, come back and tell me what you found.

[Octobergrace]

Hello Paul,

Hooray! After days of trying, I was just able to get into the website. It's late night here right now so I'll start the latest exercise tomorrow.

Warmly,
Alexis

[CarefulDog88]

Hi Alexis,
Yes unfortunately, the site has been hit with AI bots and is only run on volunteers services so it's taking its toll,not to worry it's just whats happening :)

This could be fixed shortly or longly just keep trying when you can't get on.
In the meantime just keep LOOKING

[CarefulDog88]

Hi Alexis
Have you had an opportunity to look at the last lot of questions :)

[Octobergrace]

Notice that everything is part of one movement.
Then close your eyes and see if there is a line between you and out there, between you and life
itself.
If yes, where is the boundary?

I seem to experience a boundary because out there seems like I’m observing it, and in here feels like life itself. But it’s paradoxical because, on another level, all this movement feels like one great alive stillness with no difference between me and life.

Is there an inside and an outside of Life?

No.

Is there something which is not included in the movement of the whole?

No.

Is there a witness that is watching life happening from a distance?

I feel like the correct answer is “no” but I seem to experience a me that is watching life happen from a distance for some things and at no distance for other things. And then that paradoxical feeling comes that it’s all one thing with no distance, no here or there. It’s a feeling of stillness but with a dynamic quality. It’s sort of like a sensation.

Is witnessing part of the one movement too?

Yes! OMG—and thoughts too. I love this question--the feeling of release it brings.

Is there anything which is not just happening?

My brain wants to grasp this but it can’t. (Oh….that’s just a thought! A diversion.) A big OMG feeling--like a happy release of energy. Even this feeling of a "me" is just happening! Another big OMG feeling that feels like a release of worry and doubt energy. Wow!! Even worry and doubts are just happening!!

[CarefulDog88]

Hi Alexis,

I seem to experience a boundary because out there seems like I’m observing it, and in here feels like life itself. But it’s paradoxical because, on another level, all this movement feels like one great alive stillness with no difference between me and life.

what is this "another Level" ?
without thought and labels does another level exist?
Try this again please. If you close your eyes can you find a definite line between your body and the outside(chair, Clothes, air)?
or is there just sensation with no boundary or line?

I seem to experience a me that is watching life happen from a distance for some things and at no distance for other things.

when you watch from a distance are you in thought giving everything a label?( Look at this it is very subtle and can feel like no thought but it is happening, thought labeling sensation).
Can you find a connection between thought and sensation?(is there a usb cable hahaha:)