Still looking for a self that I cannot find.

[Seraphangles]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
This means that there is no separate self, that the I is imagined and not real. I don't now what I am, but I know I'm not a just a thought.

What are you looking for at LU?
I'm looking to be liberated from the I mind virus. I have been suffering for as long as I can remember, and man has it sucked! I'm hoping with some guidance I will achieve awakening, and take the first major step towards a free life with reduced suffering. I work in a health related field and I feel like a fraud trying to help people with their pain when I'm so damn unhappy and I've been so damn unhappy for so long.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I'm hoping for precise pointing and conversation that will allow me to break through the illusion of the self. I'm serious about this path and I'm committed, I have tried to do this on my own but I'm yet to see through the illusion. I have even been conversing with chatGPT about the nature of the self hoping it would lead me to see through the illusion of the self - not quite there yet haha!

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I try to do self inquiry every day, watch nonduality youtube videos, I have attended a spiritual retreat, and I have read several books on awakening and liberation. I'm currently reading the liberation unleashed books.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
11

[dkelso]

Hello Seraph. (is there another name I can call you?) I like that you are an 11 on the 10 scale for questioning your beliefs about who and what you are. That will be helpful staying engaged with this process. Let's dive in. Where do you live in the world, what time zone are you in? I recommend you take a look at my website, deepselfinvestigation.com. It's free, and that will save us a lot of emailing to catch you up with my approach to self investigation.

Other than all that, try to respond at least once per day.

As to being liberated from the mind virus, consider that the problem is not thought or feeling, it's identification with or as those processes.

I've been working with people for many years on self inquiry and seeing through the false sense of self. If you trust me, and don't quit or get sucked into some story or other, you will be successful.

Talk to you soon!

Dan

"The answer to all problems is to see who has them." Ramana Maharshi

[Ookiemonster]

Hey Dan,

Thank you for taking me on!

I'm in Australia.
The time zone is Australian Eastern Standard time.

Yes you can call me Moe.

I've just purchased your book. Did you want me to read the essay section of your website?

Thanks again,

[dkelso]

Hi Moe, so it looks like you are 14 hrs ahead of us (I'm in the US, North Carolina) . I appreciate you getting the book, but really just meant to aim you at some of the instruction on the website. But we will make good use of it.

Begin working with the basic method, which may be similar to what you've done with self inquiry. Using direct perception, what you are aware of now, notice what exactly you are, what you exist as. For our purposes, try to just write about what you observe in as objective a manner as possible. What exactly is this sense of "I", "me"? Keep working with this questioning and looking (It's 95% perception, noticing, and maybe 5% thought in the form of questions and brief answers). Each time you think you know the answer, look deeply to confirm and verify this. Let me know how this goes.

- D

[Seraphangles]

Thanks Dan.

Yes I've tried this one !

I'm looking for the sense of I.

"where am I?"

There is this feeling I'm trying to locate, "I" "I" "I"
It feels like I'm back here watching the world
"it feels like I'm back here" - recognised as a thought
"I" "I'm" - I hone in on this word , it is a thought "I" - auditory

But I'm not that, so what am I?

"I see an i'm of me inquiring , with a confused and concentrated face" - that is another thought, this time in image form.

"what am I?"

Attention is drawn to the birds outside
car sounds
computer sounds
sensation in the chest

Is there a perciever of these sounds?

I should not have coffee today
I should work out
I wonder what that pain in the back is about, can I fix it
Image thoughts
Image thoughts

Where am I?

Where is that feeling of me?

Thoughts about dinner - image

Who is having that thought?

Now some discomfort has arose.

[dkelso]

Good, let's simplify and focus the investigation. Notice the one sitting there, looking at the screen, reading this text now. Go deep into the personal center of you, there, now. What is there? Do you find yourself? Are you identical to that, exactly identical, occupying the same position and substance as that? What is at the center of "you"? Don't think, just state what direct perception reveals about it?

[Seraphangles]

What is there? Do you find yourself?

This is my issue - i can't find anything solid. Sensations, thoughts, visual field. But the "me" i don't know what that is.

[dkelso]

Sorry Moe, for some reason the Lu website was not allowing people access the last 5 or so days.

Ok,

This is my issue - i can't find anything solid. Sensations, thoughts, visual field. But the "me" i don't know what that is.

Using perception, not thought, to look into the sense of "I", there won't be anything solid. It will be ghost like, a personal feeling, sense of being central to experience, spatial location behind the eyes, etc. Just keep noticing and sifting through what ever is there in this vague sense of yourself for any proof you are actually there. Make sense?

[Seraphangles]

Hello friend!

Thank you.

Let me work on this and get back to you.

[dkelso]

Sounds good!

[Seraphangles]

Using perception, not thought, to look into the sense of "I", there won't be anything solid. It will be ghost like, a personal feeling, sense of being central to experience, spatial location behind the eyes, etc. Just keep noticing and sifting through what ever is there in this vague sense of yourself for any proof you are actually there. Make sense?

I have been trying this all week.

If i close my eyes, there is some kind of awareness, that's obviously not my body, that's is awake and observing.

If I ask who am I, the thoughts stop for a little while it just becomes perception.

Sometimes this sense of me extends out to my visual field followed by a doubt that that's not it.

[dkelso]

Moe, you should have gotten an email from me in response to your contacting me from the deepselfinvestigation website. Let's go over to our direct emails from here, it will be more effective.

I'd like to pick up with this statement:

Sometimes this sense of me extends out to my visual field followed by a doubt that that's not it.

Please explain this in more detail, not sure I follow. Also, what happens after coming to this conclusion?