consistent authentic/true mode of being

[Steve101]

Thank you Leto,

In between packing, printing boarding passes and keeping my girlfriend calm, it may be fate, but I just spotted this great quote that I am going to leave you with:

“Whether you succeed or not is irrelevant, there is no such thing.
Making your unknown known is the important thing……
and keeping the unknown always beyond you.”
—Georgia O’Keeffe

Georgia is pointing to a great truth here:

- She is telling us that the internal mind made labelling process that was used to construct and perpetuate the false self is simply NOT capable of understanding and describing our true nature. This is why we (as guides) can only use word constructed ‘Pointers’ to indicate the ‘Experience’ of your true nature so that you can ‘know’ it at a level beyond the limited world of words and sentences.

- She is saying that our true nature will always be beyond (and kept beyond) the story of ‘you’ that you have been convinced since childhood is necessary to thrive and survive in this world. Your true nature can only be ‘known’ and ‘knowing’ exists and continues to exist without words and beyond the word created concepts that obscure our experience of the pure beauty of our planet and deeper connection with our fellow man.

Sorry Leto, I jotted this all down pretty quickly, I hope it makes sense. I also really hope that my interpretation of her quote does it justice.

Ok I’m off to finish packing. Take car of yourself Leto. Enjoy!

Hasta luego Amigo!

[Steve101]

Hi Leto, how are you?

[Leto]

Hola Steve!

I hope you had a great first day in Spain!

And I‘m good, we have bankholiday here in Germany so I‘m enjoying not to go to work or university. I was really active regarding DE the last days. It seems like I have a problem with the sense of watching: whenever I look with my eyes, it always triggers the thought oder feeling „Oh there is a watcher!“. It’s different with the other senses, when I hear or feel there is no hearer or feeler in DE. Do you have an exercise for the eye problem?

while you are eating is there just a knowing that you are eating or do you hear a voice in your head saying, ‘yep, I’m eating’

There is just a knowing.

do you need to actually hear the words in your head, ‘I am eating’ to ‘know’ you are eating

No

If someone asked you what you were doing, would you have to hear the words in your head before you answered: ‘I’m eating’

No

Do you hear each ingredient in your head labeled out loud as you taste it and if you did would this enhance the experience of the burger or diminish it?

No

If you see a tree do you need to hear the words, ‘Oh it’s a tree’ to know that it’s a tree

No, I just know.

As you go about your day tomorrow notice the activiities where mind labelling seems to occur more than others.

When I see people, especially friends, there is more mind labelling.

When you say ‘I can’t really realize that,’ can you expand on that and explain what you really mean by the word ‘realize’ here and what you think the word ‘realize’ means for you personally?.

I mean that I don’t „feel“ a self anymore. No one who sees, just seeing (This is also linked to what I wrote in the beginning about my eyes). So I wanna truly experience that the thought „I am“ is just a thought and not something behind my eyes.

Could this ‘hunch’ also be called ‘insight’ or ‘knowing without labels’

Yes, but this insight is really subtle.

Does something or someone actually see the world or is seeing just happening? What comes up when you read this

Seeing is just happening. Frustration comes in my head bc I can’t really feel that seeing is just happening.

[Leto]

And the quote of Gorgia was really helpful! Thank you for that :)

[Steve101]

Hi Leto,

As you go about your day tomorrow notice the activiities where mind labelling seems to occur more than others.

When I see people, especially friends, there is more mind labelling.

Seeing others can mean Judgement and conscious evaluation of what they say, how they look, modes of behaviour and can be an opportunity for the false self keep itself busy by generating thought after thought after thought. Have you ever had the experience of a thought in verbal or image form that makes you think: ‘shit, where did that come from?’ The false self likes to generate thought by thinking something that might provoke more thought….but what if it didn’t provoke more thought? If you find that there is an excess of labeled thought there are a number of tools at your disposal: one way to take the sting out of thought is just to just accept it, thank it for being there, even love it for being there, try this, the result might surprise you. Remember that awakening does not mean the end of all labeled thought.

It seems like I have a problem with the sense of watching: whenever I look with my eyes, it always triggers the thought oder feeling „Oh there is a watcher!“. It’s different with the other senses, when I hear or feel there is no hearer or feeler in DE. Do you have an exercise for the eye problem?

Yes there is a very revealing exercise that can be useful here:

Set a timer on your phone or whatever for 10 minutes at any point during your day. Sit in a comfortably in a chair and I want you to DO seeing for the entire time, even if you get tired, give this %100 effort. Do not look at the questions below until you are finshed.






- Was the seeing easy or difficult?

- Did you feel in total control of the seeing?

- Were you happy that the 10 minutes was over or did you want to do more seeing?

- Did you feel that your ability to do seeing was much improved?

- Did you think that this exercise was complete bullshit and you were really glad to go back to just letting seeing happen and if thoughts popped in and out of your head it was no big deal?

When you say ‘I can’t really realize that,’ can you expand on that and explain what you really mean by the word ‘realize’ here and what you think the word ‘realize’ means for you personally?.
I mean that I don’t „feel“ a self anymore. No one who sees, just seeing (This is also linked to what I wrote in the beginning about my eyes). So I wanna truly experience that the thought „I am“ is just a thought and not something behind my eyes

Direct Experience tells us everything we want to know. Probably the most relevant aspect of Direct Experience is that it is NOT, NOT, NOT something we do! It is not a task, it is not a tool. If it is not these things then what is it? Also, ask yourself: what is it that truly wants to experience that the thought ‘I am’ is just a thought?

Could this ‘hunch’ also be called ‘insight’ or ‘knowing without labels’
Yes, but this insight is really subtle.

Yes, they may be subtle but that is where the gold is. Insight and knowing will arise more when the volume from thought is turned down.

[Leto]

Hey Steve,

Remember that awakening does not mean the end of all labeled thought.

Thank you, I will try to thank my thoughts for being there :)

Was the seeing easy or difficult?

It was very difficult. It was easier when seeing just happened bc it was not possible to DO seeing anymore.

Did you feel in total control of the seeing?

No absolutely not.

Were you happy that the 10 minutes was over or did you want to do more seeing?

No, I was relieved when the 10 min was over.

Did you think that this exercise was complete bullshit and you were really glad to go back to just letting seeing happen and if thoughts popped in and out of your head it was no big deal?

I was really glad to go back to just letting seeing happen but it wasn‘t bullshit at all! It was really relieving and interesting when I coulnd‘t stand it anymore to DO seeing and seeing just happended. I felt alsmost blind bc I didn‘t know what I was seeing without labeling. Seeing was so passive and gentle like hearing our feeling is sometimes. That was beautiful.

Direct Experience tells us everything we want to know. Probably the most relevant aspect of Direct Experience is that it is NOT, NOT, NOT something we do! It is not a task, it is not a tool. If it is not these things then what is it?

That was very important for me to hear that DE is not a tool!

Also, ask yourself: what is it that truly wants to experience that the thought ‘I am’ is just a thought?

A thought wants to experience that the thought „I am“ is just a thought! The thought of „there is truth to experience and I want this“

[Steve101]

Hi Leto, little by little we are making progress,

Was the seeing easy or difficult?

It was very difficult. It was easier when seeing just happened bc it was not possible to DO seeing anymore.

This was quite literally an eye opening experience. No, we definitely don’t do seeing. Seeing just happens. The ‘I’ thought likes to take credit for seeing things but seeing just happens Leto, there is no need for a self to help us with any of our senses.

Direct Experience tells us everything we want to know. Probably the most relevant aspect of Direct Experience is that it is NOT, NOT, NOT something we do! It is not a task, it is not a tool. If it is not these things then what is it?

That was very important for me to hear that DE is not a tool!

I am so glad that understanding that DE is NOT a tool resonated with you Leto but you didn’t answer the question. if it is not a tool then what is it? Please, take some time over this and allow the answers to come as insight or hunches if you want. You might want to ponder this question for a while quite deeply and then just let it go completely and see if anything comes up during your day or the next day.

Also, ask yourself: what is it that truly wants to experience that the thought ‘I am’ is just a thought?

A thought wants to experience that the thought „I am“ is just a thought! The thought of „there is truth to experience and I want this

When a thought ‘wants’ something, what does it do when it gets it? You have this thought that wants to experience the truth of ‘I am’, when you finally find the truth of ‘I am’ what will that same thought derive from the truth, what benefit will it get from knowing the truth?

[Leto]

Hey Steve,

I am so glad that understanding that DE is NOT a tool resonated with you Leto but you didn’t answer the question. if it is not a tool then what is it? Please, take some time over this and allow the answers to come as insight or hunches if you want. You might want to ponder this question for a while quite deeply and then just let it go completely and see if anything comes up during your day or the next day.

It is nothing I could describe. Its just what it is. Its reality. Just happening. And it feels quite peacful and calm in retrospective. I think here is the problem: Bc I desctinct between DE and when I‘m not in DE. But if I label things, I‘m not in DE right? But shouldn't that also be DE? Shouldn‘t DE include everything even thnings like labeling?

When a thought ‘wants’ something, what does it do when it gets it? You have this thought that wants to experience the truth of ‘I am’, when you finally find the truth of ‘I am’ what will that same thought derive from the truth, what benefit will it get from knowing the truth?

If it gets it, there is a thought about how happy I am to got this and probably followed by another thought which wants something new to get. But yes, that doesn‘t make sense in this case bc when I‘ll finally find the truth, there probably is no thought happy about this. There is no benefit for the thought, it seems like my thoughts are handicaping me by saying „I want to experience the non-self“ and make me believe that I need them to achieve this or make me believe that they are a part of the journy till the end. Does this makes sense?

[Steve101]

Hi Leto,

I am so glad that understanding that DE is NOT a tool resonated with you Leto but you didn’t answer the question. if it is not a tool then what is it? Please, take some time over this and allow the answers to come as insight or hunches if you want. You might want to ponder this question for a while quite deeply and then just let it go completely and see if anything comes up during your day or the next day.

It is nothing I could describe. Its just what it is. Its reality. Just happening. And it feels quite peacful and calm in retrospective. I think here is the problem: Bc I desctinct between DE and when I‘m not in DE. But if I label things, I‘m not in DE right? But shouldn't that also be DE? Shouldn‘t DE include everything even thnings like labeling?

This is all fine Leto and sounds completely natural. If I understand you correctly then when you are in DE you see reality, it is peaceful and calm…yes? And if you label things you are not experiencing reality directly…yes? You seem to have answered your own question here. DE does not include labelling because labelling overlays reality. Remember the guide telling you all about the sunset…did you need the guide to help you experience the sunset or did you have a natural ability to just be in the moment and just enjoy the sunset without a lot of internal dialogue?

When a thought ‘wants’ something, what does it do when it gets it? You have this thought that wants to experience the truth of ‘I am’, when you finally find the truth of ‘I am’ what will that same thought derive from the truth, what benefit will it get from knowing the truth?

If it gets it, there is a thought about how happy I am to got this and probably followed by another thought which wants something new to get. But yes, that doesn‘t make sense in this case bc when I‘ll finally find the truth, there probably is no thought happy about this. There is no benefit for the thought, it seems like my thoughts are handicaping me by saying „I want to experience the non-self“ and make me believe that I need them to achieve this or make me believe that they are a part of the journy till the end. Does this makes sense?

Yes, this makes sense Leto. The self (the thought of self) wants to get to the point where it will get another thought that says, ‘oh yes, that’s what it is’ and then constantly refer back to that thought to make itself happy and its definition of happy is that it will be able to continually generate more labeled thought and more labeled thought and….it goes on. Why does the false need so much labeled thought? What was it that made you ask me, ‘Shouldn’t labelling include things like DE?’

[Leto]

DE does not include labelling because labelling overlays reality

Yes I absolutely see this point. Labeling feels like a fog overlaying what is behind this fog.

Why does the false need so much labeled thought?

Bc if its not labeld, it can‘t be false. The false needs labeling by definition, otherweise it wouldn‘t be false.

What was it that made you ask me, ‘Shouldn’t labelling include things like DE?’

I meant shouldn‘t DE include labeling, sorry if I wrote this incorrect. I thought (hehe) DE should include everything, even labeling bc DE doesnt destinct. But I have my answer above, labeling is a fog and DE doesn‘t mean there is no fog anymore but just to see the good weather trough the fog.

[Steve101]

Hi Leto,

I think by now you know what the direct experience of you life is and what the labeled version is. If you still have doubts go back to the very first thread of our time together and re-read it. Let’s now look at the truth or more accurately the lie of the false self.

Here is how to distinguish truth from lies.

We often lie every day & don't realize it.

For example, the grocery clerk asks, "How are you?" You reply, "I'm fine." While, yes. there is a sense in which we are always fine, even in the middle of suffering, at that moment, you were grieving the death of your dog, you had a slight sore throat & you had a headache, but you didn't feel like sharing all of that with the grocery clerk, so you lied, "I'm fine."

Also, it matters none at all how "distant" the remembered lie is. Besides the fact that time itself is fictional, a kind if lie, as we recall the lie it becomes present in this moment, as if it were happening now. This brings the body Sensation that accompanies lying.

Lies can be intentional or unintentional Leto, conscious or unconscious, even so automatic that we ourselves are fooled.

The story of a separate "self" is a lie.

This is the lie you came here to see through. Therefore, it is helpful to notice the body Sensation of lying as one of the tools for finding the truth of no self.

You want to be in touch with body Sensations & able to clearly express them in words. This will help.

Lies are usually felt in the heart or solar plexus as a contraction that we may label as tight, heavy or tense.

In contrast, truth is usually expansive. We may call it loose, light or relaxed.

First, can you remember a time when you lied to someone you loved?

Here we count anything, lies we think of as "big" or "small" that "matter" or don't "matter."

How are you? I'm fine. No, your knee hurts, but you don't feel like discussing it with the grocery clerk.

It's a lie. A seemingly "bigger" one will work better for this exercise.

Find the lie. I don't need the whole story, just a few key words to refer to it.

Then scan your body for any Sensation (DE or Direct Experience), particularly in the gut or maybe the heart. Check very closely.

What is found?

If you think the memory you used wasn't clear enough, find another one or lie to yourself right now, make something up.

1 + 1 = 14 is a lie.

I love eating worms is (probably) a lie.

Or call up a video of a lying politician & notice what Sensations arise as you listen.

I will give you a clue: it is not that peaceful Sensation you felt before when you omitted "I." (refers to an exercise I gave before this one)

Please report back with what body Sensations (not interpretations) you feel Leto. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

"Peaceful" or “anxious” is an interpretation of a body Sensation, not the Sensation itself, for example.

Do you see that?

[Leto]

Hey Steve,

On Wednesday I had an appointment with a friend in the park and she was an hour late. She apologized and I said it wasn't a problem, but I was actually a bit annoyed.
Apart from that, I can't think of any other lies right now. So I'll use the following examples:
1+5=10
I love board games.
I am enlightened.
I like going to the party tonight.
I hate Burger King.
All of these examples make me feel tight in the chest. My body generally feels tighter, like it's contracting. The lie “I'm enlightened” almost made me nauseous. My body wants to turn away and pull back. I feel an instinct to escape. My breathing is tighter.

[Steve101]

Hi Leto, this is good. You are good touch with your body’s responses to what is true and what is not.

Our journey so far has really been about helping you to see the truth of your experience of life and about what is more authentic. You have seen that our experience of life includes sensory, kinesthetic and thoughts arising without content but you have also seen directly that our experience also includes labeled thought and that’s ok and perfectly fine, I just want you to have a clear perspective on all of this but the important thing is that you can see that thought has and always will just happen.

Explore ‘Sense of Self'

Let’s say that you have lost your keys and you swear that you left them in your coat. You go to look and check all the pockets - the keys are not there. You swear they must be as that was the last place you remember them. You have a vivid memory of putting them there after you left the house. But when you check, they are not there. At this point you can keep believing that the keys are in your pocket, or you can admit you were mistaken.

This is just like that. You may see clearly that the self is an illusion but still feel a sense of self - just like the keys. But feeling something to be true and seeing that it is or is not is different. This is why we may find ourselves coming back to your expectations at the start and at the end.

Now, I’d like to ask you to explore this SENSE of self very-very thoroughly. Not by thinking about it, but by FEELING it. Keep the focus of attention on the sense of self and inquire:

Does the sense of self have a location?

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

What is found?

[Leto]

Hey Steve,

Does the sense of self have a location?

Yes, I feel it in my eyes and in my solar plexus.

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

No, its just a sense or feeling.

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

No, however the sense can provoke thought who say „There is something what feels the world“

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?
It feels thight in my solar pelxus. It feels like a doubt, like something I am interpreting incorrectly. It feels like a filter, like fog. It feels like security or gravity.

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

Sensation, which can provoke doubtfull thoughts that there is actually an sepretated self.

What is found?

I don‘t understadn the question. Do you refer to the questions above?

[Steve101]

Hey Leto,

Does the sense of self have a location?

Yes, I feel it in my eyes and in my solar plexus.

Find some quiet time when you will not be disturbed.
- in direct/actual experience and only looking for FEELING answers…
- take a few deep breaths, relax…
- ask: ‘Is it possible that there is a sense of self trapped behind my eyes?
- Look for FEELINGS/SENSATIONS only

Then

- in direct/actual experience, and only looking for FEELING answers…
- take a few deep breaths, relax…
- ask: ‘Is it possible that there is a sense of self trapped in my solar plexus?
- Look for FEELINGS/SENSATIONS only


Take your time with this Leto and report back. Thank you.