Dear Seekingstill,
Well, i'm on the road again, so my responses will not be prompt for the next 10 days.
Will I ever know what it is?
Oh, how the ego wants to know, wants to know.
One teacher told me an enlightened person can never know he is enlightened. If that's true, then no, you will never know.
You do you. You do it "your" way. "It" will happen to you the Seekingstill way. I have no idea how or what.
Some of us take baby steps. Some leap off the edge of a cliff. Some of us go a little way and then plateau for who knows how long. If you have a sense of your learning style, maybe you can guess about your process, but that's only more thoughts. And thoughts are 99% useless.
If Life is living your life, you have to accept Life's terms. You signed a blank document on this lease on Life, and you don't know what's in it. None of us do.
Meanwhile a veritable blizzard (i live in the North Country), a veritable dust storm of thoughts is obscuring your view of this very present moment. Thought thought thought etc.
Where's the wisdom in that? What do thoughts know anyway?
There's a lot of deconditioning and reconditioning that goes along with this process. You have perhaps heard of awakened people who are jerks (or worse). Seeing through self view here at LU may do absolutely nothing for anxiety and worry. Fear doesn't drop away until much later in the process. It is not at all likely to drop away during your time here at LU.
So what about the possibility of waking up to the non-existence of self AND still feeling fear and anxiety?
Love,
Cheryl
