Is Life a Dance?

[ankitawho]

i apologize for my quietness, i was on the road for three weeks.

No worries. I apologize too for rather delayed responses.

I did all the headless experiments some time ago and found them very fascinating. The first time I did the finger exercise I remember very clearly.

Wonderful. I'd like to know your findings without you describing them from memory, so could you please do the finger exercise again and tell me what your direct experience is?

The expectations I can find are along the lines "life will be different, and better" and also "stuff doesn't feel wrong anymore".

There is a certain amount of heaviness behind this that I can empathise with.
Notice the undertones of 'wanting' for reality to be NOT-THIS. This would be looking at reality, and meeting it with a 'no'.

Lets try this: Get comfortable, and simply notice whatever is in your field of vision, unfocussed, relaxed gaze. Try repeating to yourself "If this is all it will ever be, that is okay".
Does it bring up any sensation? Any contraction? Maybe even a flood of thoughts?
In summary, is there a strong reaction?

What you are 'wanting' to change, look away from, force into feeling 'not wrong' somehow, is a sensation, a group of sensations, or thoughts, or all of these that are let open when you accept reality. If your answer to any of the preceding questions was a 'yes', then it indicates need for some clearing up of all of this by enquiring directly into it.

Not really, what is there, is there.

Hmm, but also "life will be different, and better" as you expressed?

Hm, this is an interesting question. I have no idea how to re-create it. Like, how? It seems impossible to create it on demand. I'm a bit lost about the second question here.

Disregard the question. The intention was to get you to drop into the rawness of experience, and see how even the stickiness of identity as a sensation is just a fascinating expression of what-already-is.

The expectation is that I'll just know.

What about your experience suggests that you are not already aligned?
Do those that are aligned only encounter beautiful experiences?
Do those that are aligned not encounter feelings of dissatisfaction, apathy, sadness?

[glint]

Could you please do the finger exercise again and tell me what your direct experience is?

If I point to objects in front of me, in this case a tree, a table, a boat on a beach, there instant processing of the colors and shapes into concepts: tree, table, boat. If I reverse, there is nothing the finger is pointing at. Just a quietness, extending into infinity. It feels very peaceful. It doesn't change, just stays there. If I keep looking, thoughts appear much slower or not at all. It just is. It feels like I'm looking out through my eyes like through a window. This is also, somehow, "I", yet markedly different than the sticky point discussed earlier, it feels like this point is on the other side of the window.

Lets try this: Get comfortable, and simply notice whatever is in your field of vision, unfocussed, relaxed gaze. Try repeating to yourself "If this is all it will ever be, that is okay". Does it bring up any sensation? Any contraction? Maybe even a flood of thoughts? In summary, is there a strong reaction?

Not much. Not strong reaction. No flood of thoughts. If, then interestingly the other way around: I'm okay with all this, there is an averse feeling towards changes.

Hmm, but also "life will be different, and better" as you expressed?

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
~ Walt Whitman

What about your experience suggests that you are not already aligned? Do those that are aligned only encounter beautiful experiences? Do those that are aligned not encounter feelings of dissatisfaction, apathy, sadness?

No, not at all, there are experiences of any kind. There is no expectation that there will be only beautiful experiences. Everything must be there, too, also sadness, apathy, dissatisfaction. There is nothing of my experience that doesn't suggest that it is not so, actually, except when I start thinking about the whole situation.