Please help - looking for a guide

[jasminejj]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
My interpretation of "no self" is that, there is individual being living inside the boundary of body created by skin. There is no matter. The body is an appearance and the play is orchestrated by mind. It all looks so real, but not real.

What are you looking for at LU?
I've read Liberation unleashed and gateless gatecrashers book. I know most of knowledge is still theoretical because I still suffer greatly. Fear is my primary mode of running life. I am desperate to find a way out.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I've hit the maximum that someone can gain by reading/watching you tube videos on non-duality. I would like to get some help from someone who is living with this understanding and help me see through the illusion of ME.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I started meditation 5 years back following Dr. Joe dispenza and Sadhguru. I also learnt about non-duality by listening to Rupert Spira, Sailor Bob.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10

[Anastacia42]

Good morning

It can be hard to do this if you're "desperate." Fear & expectations get in the way.

There is a Direct Looking process for fear.

https://youtu.be/jKX1llYtlKE?si=jHXuuyyVtp7c-1R2

And this one:

https://youtu.be/fSTT8nc8cvQ?si=Alcukpbi7SUlXpfi

The only thought we question here is the imagination of a "self." But if other thoughts & fears are being believed this can be difficult.

There are processes out there for questioning our untrue thoughts & beliefs.. My favorite is The Work of Byron Katie.

Here's a snippet about fears:

https://youtu.be/Hl5qtoT2524?si=cZFMiDNvhR7kZ3wu

You can find many videos of her guiding people to question fears on youtube. Her web site is www.thework.com

Please look at these & see if you can let some of the fear go.

Loving,

[jasminejj]

Thank you.

[Anastacia42]

Please post your results with those.

[jasminejj]

I watched all of these videos few times. I also saw few of Illona's inquiry questions in her youtube channel.

Here is where I landed(theoretically by connecting the dots): Fear is a means by which the "ME" lives. Fear gives a sense of control to the "ME", like it makes all the decision minute by minute and navigates through this complicated life.

While typing this response there is a voice in my head saying: wow, there is no "ME/jasmine??". Good luck leading speaking in the office meetings and making decisions without "ME".

[Anastacia42]

Here is my usual introduction. It has some information you'll need.

remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.[/b]

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

What would you like for me to call you? What time zone are you in, please?


Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Oops, didn't get all of it.

My name is Stacy and I can be your guide, if you would like.

One thing I want to make very clear up front is that with me, you must post every day. If you know yourself and your schedule are such that you cannot do this, tell me, "no," and someone else can guide you, please.
Yes, if once in a while you must post later, please post a note telling me when you will return.

If you haven't already read the disclaimer, please read it now and just confirm to me that you have read it. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2/

Also please read “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041

Some housekeeping guidelines:

1. Post at least once a day, or every second day. If you need more time, or are unable to post for several days, just write a quick post on your thread to let me know please.

2. There is no one judging answers given, so please be 100% honest in your answers and inquiry.

3. This exploration is based on actual experience (AE) - smell, taste, sound, sensation, color and observed thoughts. Long-winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress. This is not a self-improvement process. There is no ‘self’ to improve.

4. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies, rituals, practices, books/reading and so on for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily meditation practice, it is fine to continue that but is not necessary for this exploration.

Technology is not perfect and sometimes there is a glitch which can wipe out your responses. It is advisable that you copy and paste questions asked into Word, answer them there and then copy and paste them to your thread. Always save a copy of what you have done, it will save time in the long run!

To begin with, so that we both become aware of what your expectations are about this exploration. In your own words (not from actual experience, but just honest answers), could you please answer the 4 following questions:

How will life change?
How will you change?
What will be different?
What is missing?

Throughout this exploration I would like you to answer all questions that I have written in blue text. Please answer all questions even if I miss using the blue text.

Please answer questions individually, remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

What would you like for me to call you? What time zone are you in, please?

Loving,

[jasminejj]

How will life change?

honestly, I don't know

How will you change?

the voice in my head talking all the time may stop.

What will be different?

less fearful

What is missing?

peace

[Anastacia42]

Okay, thank you.


Now what comes up when reading that there is no separate self, never has been, and never will be? That the whole thing was a made up story that we believed.


Loving

[jasminejj]

Now what comes up when reading that there is no separate self, never has been, and never will be? That the whole thing was a made up story that we believed.

I have not experienced "No Self" even after 5 years of reading non-duality books and attending many online Satsangs.
When I read about "no self", I get a feeling that it is a blessing given for chosen people set of people and not possible for me in this life time. Like some people are born with the gift of dancing, singing or exceling in math, this is something that has been gifted to chosen people. Those chosen people share their experience with everybody without realizing that they are gifted. Like people who are gifted with math don't understand why others fail on basic math classes.

[Anastacia42]

I get a feeling that it is a blessing given for chosen people set of people and not possible for me in this life time.

Oh dear. SO not true!

Please go download Gateless Gatecrashers from our Resource Books link here. Please read all of the accounts of very ordinary people who now see there us no self. Look at the Archives & count the hundreds who have seen right here through this forum.

Everyone whose forum name is blue or red has seen.

Let me know if you have any questions.

Loving

[jasminejj]

Please read all of the accounts of very ordinary people who now see there is no self.

I've read gateless gatekeepers cover to cover before joining LU. I will check the archived dialogues.

I had an interesting experience today at dentist office. I got root canal done on one of the teeth under local anesthesia. Doctor is drilling my tooth and I had feeling like what is he drilling there while it is all empty. I had no physical body feeling for sometime. May be it was the effect of the sedation. However, thoughts did not stop and it kept/commenting the whole time.

What is indication of someone crossed gate? Thoughts stop? No feeling of physical body? What changes after crossing the gate?

[Anastacia42]

Good morning,

I don't know what happened at the dentist. Let's focus on pointers here.


What is indication of someone crossed gate? Thoughts stop? No feeling of physical body? What changes after crossing the gate?

Usually, a sense of relaxation. No, thoughts don't stop, but you don't believe them. You still feel your body.

This is how to LOOK for no self in the exercises - we call them "pointers' - that we will be doing here:



Colored Socks



There is a big difference between knowing that there is nothing to give up and seeing that there is nothing to give up.



Here is an example to illustrate the difference:



If I ask you what color socks you are wearing right now you have two ways to come up with an answer:



• You can think about it, you can think back to this morning and try to remember putting your socks on, and you can probably tell me what color you think they are.



• Alternatively, you can take a quick look at your socks and tell me what color they actually are!



Hopefully you would agree that you can only be 100% certain by looking.



For the purpose of seeing this "no self" idea, it is very important that you are clear about this difference.



Knowing is about knowledge which is all in the mind and we are not interested in that



We are only interested in looking at and seeing what is actually going on in your present moment-to-moment experience. We are only interested in your Direct Experience in the moment..



Direct or Actual Experience is



Seeing

Hearing

Feeling (Sensation, not emotion. Emotion is Sensation plus made-up thoughts & labels)

Tasting

Smelling

Thoughts Arising (but not their content)



Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.


Loving,

[Anastacia42]

I should have Quoted your questions. Blue is for my questions. Sorry.

[jasminejj]

Seeing

Hearing

Feeling (Sensation, not emotion. Emotion is Sensation plus made-up thoughts & labels)

Tasting

Smelling

Thoughts Arising (but not their content)

I've read these many times and this time it is different. Yes, I do see it. This moment is just made up just seeing, hearing, feeling. It's automatically there and unstoppable.

However, there is still a localization or an angle from which objects are seen. I am sitting here and watching a TV there. My dog sitting there and wagging tail at me looking directly into my eyes. That localization feels like it's a choice maker - watching TV over going for a walk with dog. The localization has expectations on how things should go. The localization has a voice and a face attached to it. The localization feels like it is typing the response now. It is making edits...oh! is the localization just a thought? it feels like it has a body with mass. how does feeling and thought mix together? how can a thought speak?