Awakening Saxophonist

[DimPal]

Hi Gunn,

Life really took over in the past months. I felt the need to simplify practice as much as possible so that it is easy to get into in when there is a moment here and there. I chose to do the "what is mu" koan, seeing that in many occasions I got responses from Angelo where he recommended a one-pointed approach. Another reason for this is seeing that doing more open style practice is quite confusing as a certain prolonged focus is needed to start having some release momentum, doesnt make much sense but that's what came up. Was wondering what your view is on this.

Also, a question: can we say that releasing a sensation is the same as seeing it arise and not doing absolutely anything with it?

wishes

Dimos

[gmalen]

Dimos!

So great to hear from you. Thought of you a week ago and was curious how you are.

That approach seems spot on for you and your situation. It wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t.

This process isn’t as linear or clear as the identity would like, and that’s okay. When readiness comes, it comes. If there’s static and friction, what’s it like to fully embrace that? What’s the problem with that? Who has a problem with that? Just remain open and keep gently attuning to what it feels like to be you (or mu), what that substance actually is, and how it relates to or is constructed by beliefs and thoughts.

Wonderful. Trust life. More than yourself. And that includes the decisions it feels like ‘you’ are making. Life endlessly and generously provides the conditions for identity and sticking points to be seen. Trust the inquiry and keep it simple, I like that. This is not complicated and you are 110% fully capable of nothing.. lol really tho.

As for your question with sensations, I’m unsure of the significance of releasing. All in all, be with the felt sensations, noticing thoughts, resistance, identity with as much curiosity as you have. Use pointers when stuck or feel naturally inclined.

Gunnar :)

[gmalen]

Dimos,

Hope you're well. I'm jumping back into actively guiding again. Wanted to reach out and see how things are going for you.

Gunnar

[DimPal]

hi Gunn,

Hoping for your advice. I feel like I am going nowhere with this. Life feels just too busy and ]forgetting to look is becoming more common. Quite open at the same time with VERY stable mood, gratitude, some openness. Intentionally not practicing in an attempt to not solidify that into something seems to just give rise to living life as normal, from one distraction to the next. These is a sense of being fed up with this, with all the people being wanna be spiritual and all fake love energy shit, or talking big about god and things that basically mean nothing. Fed up with the practice, with wasting life sitting instead of living, with listening to random strangers talking for hours about that which is supposingly here but no person I actually know has nothing to say something about. I leave it at that.

best

Dimos

[gmalen]

Dimos,

I feel like I am going nowhere with this.

Hello doubt! Where would you go with this? Is there anyone to go anywhere? Who would you be without the project of spiritual awakening?

You might like to repeat/reflect on this thought 'I am going nowhere with this' as you see fit. Feel the discomfort. What is doubt? Where is the doubter? What would life be like without this thought?

VERY stable mood, gratitude, some openness

Wonderful!

Life feels just too busy and ]forgetting to look is becoming more common.

Ya, that's normal when life gets busier. That's how it is for me and everyone and else. Sometimes clear, sometimes not. Things unbind in due time.

These is a sense of being fed up with this, with all the people being wanna be spiritual and all fake love energy shit, or talking big about god and things that basically mean nothing. Fed up with the practice, with wasting life sitting instead of living, with listening to random strangers talking for hours about that which is supposedly here but no person I actually know has nothing to say something about. I leave it at that.

Wonderful!! Leave it all behind. Follow that despair and hopelessness and fed up-ness down. For the 'you' in the thought world, this is hopeless. Even when having seen clearly, 'you' will still doubt, fight, whirl you up into mayhem. All that is fine and welcome.

Blessings,
Gunnar

[DimPal]

Gunn,

Is there a point where doubt doesn't arise at all or more like it does sporadically arise but it's immediately seen as just thought?

Dimos

[gmalen]

Hey Dimos,

I can say doubt still arises and catches hold here. I imagine/hear it fully settles at some point. But more importantly...

It's about seeing through doubt and inquiring - who is caught up in this doubt? Who is the doubt referring to? Is there a doubter? ... What is doubt made up of? Is the world that it presupposes real? What is here now without doubt?

Look in these ways and what's real naturally reveals itself. Doubt is like any other kind of thought that when believed in, creates some kind of suffering and disconnects us from what is real right now.

All thoughts, narratives, stories, doubts slowly lose their momentum as what's real becomes more interesting and prominent in experience.

G