Seeing through self clearly, no more doubts.

[FerCortez]

Hi Warissem,

Sorry, it's been a few days. I'm moving to another country and things have been a bit demanding lately, but I kept looking throughtout these last days.

Yes, there is no you seeking anyway, do you see this?

Yes, absolutely, even though getting caught up with thoughts happens frequently, but once it's seen, the story drops immediatelly.

Can it be known how tall the body is?

No, there are only sensations, colors, shapes etc.

Does the body have a weight or volume?

No, those are labels.

In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

There seems to be when looked at it, but without thoughts it can't be know what exactly it is. Shape and form are just words to describe it.

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?

It feels like there is, but I can see it's a belief. In direct experience there's nothing there that can prove there is.

Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

Same as above.

Is there an inside or an outside?

There're sensations in the body and there's a belief saying this is inside, but without refering to this belief, there're only sensations.

If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly?

Sensations in the body feels like inside. But if I stay with it, there's only awareness aware of sensations.

If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

Everything is not the body. The body feels like the subject, especially behind the eyes, and everything else are objects.

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?

Mostly sensations.

What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Sensations coming and going, spontaneously, diferent flavours. it's hard to describe, feels like anything else I tried to say it's just a layer that takes me out of the actual experience.

Thank you

Kind regards.

[warissem]

Good morning

I wish you a nice landing in the other country.

You have done good observations about the body. Here is a comment :

Everything is not the body. The body feels like the subject, especially behind the eyes, and everything else are objects.

You have seen that the body is sensations. Now look at the body in direct experience and SEE if it is a subject :
Is the body seeing?
Is the body hearing?
Is the body feeling sensations?

Look, eyes open, at a place where eyes are supposed to be : what is seen ? Is there a subject there?
Is there knowing of a good sight or a bad sight (which needs glasses)?
Have you find a me, a separate self behind the eyes? Look.

Best for you

[FerCortez]

Hi there, good evenning.

I wish you a nice landing in the other country.

Thank you

Is the body seeing?

No, when I look at the body, the body is an object. The eyes are felt as sensations. I can't find from where seeing is happening.

Is the body hearing?

No, sounds are happening and it's picked up by the ears.

Is the body feeling sensations?

No, awareness notices sensations in what seems to be the body.

Look, eyes open, at a place where eyes are supposed to be : what is seen ? Is there a subject there?

No, it felt like, but when looked, it becomes an object. Can't find any subject, just looking.

Is there knowing of a good sight or a bad sight (which needs glasses)?

I'm not sure I understand this question, sorry.

Have you find a me, a separate self behind the eyes? Look.

No, there's just this awareness being aware. I've been trying to find what's aware and the more I try, the more obvious it becomes that there's nobody doing it. For quite a while this was frustrating for me because I thought something had to happen when I looked, but now it's becoming clear that it can't be found and will never be found, because I'm exactly this, and I can't really see myself, just be it. This has been becoming clear and clear slowly, and for this reason maybe that I didn't experience fireworks or a big moment of awakening like I was expecting, and that's why sometimes I really have a hard time believing it's been seen. It feels like there's more than that. Please let me know if there's something I'm missing here.

Thank you so much

All the best.

[warissem]

Good morning

Nothing is missing, it is so simple to see the obvious, what is always here in the first place. Awareness recognizing itself.

There is an exercise I invite you to do.

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.
2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.
Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience. Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:-

How is the movement controlled?
Does a thought control it?
Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?
How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.
Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?
Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Best for you

[FerCortez]

Hi Warissem, good morning.

How is the movement controlled?

No idea actually. It's happening on its own. Thoughts appear saying I chose it, but it's seen as just one more thought.

Does a thought control it?

No, thoughts can show up saying turn, turn, turn, but it doesn't control it at all. Turning is completly happening spontaneously
, without a "me" knowing when it'll happen the next turn.

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

No, there's no controller. When I get caught up in thoughts it might apperar there's a me, but it's just a thought and sensations of what seems to be the body.

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

The decision is made but not because of the thoughts. Thoughts are saying turn, turn, but the actual hand is not turning, it turns when it wants. It's like it has a life on its own.

Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Nobody, choice happened. There's a thought that immediatly comes and say It was me, but obviously it's an illusion that was believed all this time. As I see this clear now, it's so freeing, so light, until fearful thoughts come and say I have no control at all, so why try to change anything. That can bring peace and calmess as I watch the show, but also it brings a feeling of lazyness, weakness, lack of power. Sometimes I get super motived to to things, change things, improve certain things about how I live, but then when I get in touch with this realization, it all seems to vanish.

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

No, there's just noticing it as it happens, no choice, no separation, nothing.. It's like I'm watching a movie that's already been filmed and now it's just playing on this screen (awareness)

Thank you for you help.

All the best.

[warissem]

Good evening

Good. Are you still seeking?
If so, what is missing?

Anyway, feel free to expose any lasting doubt about this staff.

Best for you

[FerCortez]

Hi Warissem, Good morning. I hope you're doing well.

Firstly, I'm so sorry for taking such a long time to answer this. It's been crazy this last week. I have finally moved to Spain and had lots of things to put in place this week.

With regards to your question:

Good. Are you still seeking? If so, what is missing?

I have sat with this question and realized I'm still seeking, much less, but still. Actually I feel that what I'm still looking for is stabilization. Sometimes for long periods of time, like this busy week for example, I seem to completly forget about that and get identified with conditioning again. When I take a moment and relax, it's obvious it's all happening and I don't have any control over it, but it feels conditioning is still running the show most of times, especially those busy and challenging days. Yesterday when things finally got calmer around here, I had time to sit and relax, so I realized how much resistence I felt these days, especially in the body, lots of contractions, anxiety, restless etc. This is what still bothers me and makes me doubt sometimes. If I have really seen through self, how can I still get cought up in conditiong and avoidance like that?

Kind regards.

[warissem]

Good evening

Yes, conditioning is operating with a belief in a separate self or without a belief in a separate self. It is like a program running but there is no you behind the show. There have been years of conditioning, habits, ... The sole "practice" is to be knowingly aware.

I invite you to watch these videos and give your comments :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJQcD588g2w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUDzrCLlrj4

Best for you

[FerCortez]

Hi Warissem, Good morning.

The sole "practice" is to be knowingly aware.

When you say that, you mean to be aware when these programs are running, and know it has nothing to do with me, because I'm not the one in control, I'm what's aware of it, they're just running on its own. The only thing that can be done, is to be aware of it, right? Identication here keeps happening, and lost in that, suffering emerges mainly because I keep trying to force it to stop or to change it. More and more I seem to catch it and awareness is awake again. Realization here doesn't seem to be a permanent state, it's here or not here. Being awake relates to this moment now, but the next moment sleeping can be back again. The work from now on seems to be that, more and more abide in this awake state, and I assume with time, that will become more stable.

Aside from keeping this practice of being aware, I'm also doing lots of emotional work, since I can't hide them anymore. Now is much more clear when an emotion is here and there's avoidance.

With regards to the videos, thank you, they really helped me to understand that.

Thank you, you're really helping to understand this process better.

Kind regards.

[warissem]

Good evening

When you say that, you mean to be aware when these programs are running, and know it has nothing to do with me, because I'm not the one in control, I'm what's aware of it, they're just running on its own.

There is no you to be aware, there is only awareness (being aware) : do you see the difference?

The only thing that can be done, is to be aware of it, right?

There is nothing to be done, "being aware" is happening without effort. Is there an effort needed to be aware of these words?

Identication here keeps happening, and lost in that, suffering emerges mainly because I keep trying to force it to stop or to change it.

What (to not say who) is aware of being lost? There is no you to be lost : do you see that all this is a story?

More and more I seem to catch it and awareness is awake again.

Is awareness sleeping then it wakes up? Is there awareness of being lost in thoughts ?

Realization here doesn't seem to be a permanent state, it's here or not here. Being awake relates to this moment now, but the next moment sleeping can be back again. The work from now on seems to be that, more and more abide in this awake state, and I assume with time, that will become more stable.

Realization is already the case but it is not recognized as such. Being aware of this screen is IT, so simple and ordinary. there is no you to be aware.

Aside from keeping this practice of being aware, I'm also doing lots of emotional work, since I can't hide them anymore. Now is much more clear when an emotion is here and there's avoidance.

When an emotion arises, let it be and look at it with eyes open, focus on the sensations not on the thoughts.

With regards to the videos, thank you, they really helped me to understand that.

Thank you, you're really helping to understand this process better.

You are much welcome

[FerCortez]

Hi there, good morning.

Omg, I felt some much frustration when I read that. A few weeks ago it seemed I had so much clarity, it was clear and then all the clarity had gone, so much contraction and lots of doubts. It took me a few days to process these answers. I sat with frustration and felt it fully. I feel much more clear now again.

There is no you to be aware, there is only awareness (being aware) : do you see the difference?

Yes, awareness is here whether it's aware or not of itself. There's not a me that's aware of awareness, that was the identication that was going on.

There is nothing to be done, "being aware" is happening without effort. Is there an effort needed to be aware of these words?

Not at all, it's like when my name if called when slepping. The body wakes up because awareness is there, and there's nobody there aware, its effortless.

Is awareness sleeping then it wakes up? Is there awareness of being lost in thoughts ?

No, awareness never sleeps, it's always on, sometimes is contracted in thoughts and mistankly identifies with it. Of course there's awareness of being lost in thoughts, otherwise I wouldn't know I was lost in thoughts. Clear now.

When an emotion arises, let it be and look at it with eyes open, focus on the sensations not on the thoughts.

Great. Been doing that for a while and it'1s life changing, mainly because I was the klind of person that repressed emotions my whole life, always trying to solve it in the mind.

Thank you

Hope you have a great weekend.

Kind regards.

[warissem]

Hi

Glad to know that things are clearer now.

What is arising when you read this : many concepts are used to point to awareness = being aware = seeing = hearing = tasting = smelling = touching or feeling sensations = thinking.

Waiting for your insights.

PS : I have spent the weekend on the roads.

Best for you

[FerCortez]

Hey, good morning.

What is arising when you read this : many concepts are used to point to awareness = being aware = seeing = hearing = tasting = smelling = touching or feeling sensations = thinking.

What comes to mind is this is all there is to awareness, this is all that arises in awareness, so it's all awareness, awareness being aware of itself, not two, no separation.

If I'm honest, it's not my experience. I feel that I had glimpses of that and that's why I can speak and have an understand of it, but not a real shift.

Kind regards.

Fernando

[warissem]

Hi Fernando

What comes to mind is this is all there is to awareness, this is all that arises in awareness, so it's all awareness, awareness being aware of itself, not two, no separation.

It is the truth.

If I'm honest, it's not my experience. I feel that I had glimpses of that and that's why I can speak and have an understand of it, but not a real shift.

What you said about awareness is 24/7 experience of all of us. The problem is in the recognizing it or not. Now, just LOOK AT what is here now in direct experience and see the truth of what is said above.
Is there something outside of awareness ?
Is something else aware of awareness right here right now?
Is there separation in anyway?

It is so simple that it is overlooked : why? because it cannot be grasped by a thought or a mental image. "Being aware" is transcending the thoughts and mental images as it is the case in direct experience "here and there".

Waiting for your insights

Best for you

[FerCortez]

Hi there, good morning.

Is there something outside of awareness ?

No, everything is awareness. Everythings arises IN awareness, thoughts, feelings, sensations, colors etc..

Is something else aware of awareness right here right now?

No, there's only awareness being aware.

Is there separation in anyway?

No, only this one thing aware and everything that arises is also it.

It is so simple that it is overlooked : why? because it cannot be grasped by a thought or a mental image.

.
True, I can see that when I stop and recognize it. It's all happening and there's nobody doing anything. Awareness is always here, whether or not there's recognition of it in the moment. I was constantly doubting myself because most of the time awareness was not aware of itself in the moment and there was expectation here that once the shift happened, awareness would be constantly aware that "I am aware". However, from what I understood, this is a gradul process due to habits that are still playing here. is that right?

Thank you for your patience.

Hope you have a great week.