I don’t know

[Freshbundle]

There is no such separate entity called an "I / me" There never was and never will be in any shape size or form. It only "exists" as an imaginary idea

Tell me all you can about what you FEEL about that statement

Feeling is of no boundary to this that is . “Within it” feels like there could be a such entity, as almost a momentum sensation… if it could form…. But it does not. Nothing actually forms. It’s like sitting so still with open ears listening to a frangrance or a note that is silent.

[Alless]

This is beautiful Kristyn

And it comes to me that this could well be a good time for the "final questions." Whilst each of us individually are the only ones who truly know if we have seen clearly that there is no "me", these questions are a really helpful way of making sure that the guiding here has not missed anything important in the discovery. Also the nature of these questions may help identify areas that you would like to explore further. If something comes up as you are working through them that raises a question then we'll dive into that.

So let's turn to the questions. This helps other guides check whether anything has been missed. Report from your Actual Experience in this very moment when you reply to each question. Do not reply from memory or a previous experience.

No need to rush, take your time and have some fun !!

Here are the questions.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?




2) Share in your own words what the illusion of separate self is and how it shows up in experience. Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion.




3) How does it feel to see this? Is there any difference from before you started this dialogue on LU?





4) Can you remember any specific moment where there was an epiphany? ....a before and after seeing the actuality of no self? Was there a point when you ‘got it’?




5) From your own experience of no self please talk about
decision, & give examples from experience.





intention, & give examples from experience.





free will, & give examples from experience.





choice and control? & give examples from experience.





What makes things happen? How does it work?





What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.





6) Anything to add?






With love


Alan

[Freshbundle]

Alan,

I have been working on these questions . I took a break mid way to feel into responsibility. When I re-opened the post , my response what I had written was gone. I realize now I should have copied and pasted to save what I had. I need to start again from the beginning. I will do so tonight.
Thank you. .

[Alless]

Thanks for letting me know Kristyn. Copying and pasting is the safety net on this alright 😊

No rush.

With love


Alan

[Freshbundle]

Alan,

I intended to take time to answer last night. However I needed to put all my care toward my sick cat. She had a stroke one week ago and declined so quickly. I took her to vet to get her put down this morning and need to both grieve and bury her.

I will get to the questions as soon as I feel complete with cat.

♥️

[Alless]

Thank you for taking a few moments to let me know what's happening amidst all you are experiencing right now Kristyn.

It's such an opportunity to really feel fully what is calling to be felt. As best you can, be open hearted and above all just be compassionate for all that is happening.

Take your time ....no rush at all. You will know when you're ready to respond


With love


Alan

[Freshbundle]

[quote]1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?[/quote]

No. No where, shape, form. There was never. [quote]

2) Share in your own words what the illusion of separate self is and how it shows up in experience. Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion.[/quote]

The illusion of the separate self feels like almost an energetic momentum that seems like a contraction trying to resist what is. It shows up in experience as a diverting that seems to be trying to assert by make something out of what cannot be known. It shows up as a claiming to know, defending, explaining, lots of explaining, justifying, etc.

Life has gradually changed that it feels lighter. Even while this seeming person continues on, conversing and doing and thinking, it seems about no one and nothing, really. There is a sense of everything being allowed, by no one . In this, nothing feels known. Mysterious. Almost like a question mark but no answer. No expectation of an answer. Wonder.

3) [quote]How does it feel to see this? Is there any difference from before you started this dialogue on LU? [/quote]

I suppose I answers this in part above…. Before I started LU I felt confused and anxious and had strong doubt. I now feel curious and unknowing. There is a more settled quality indeed.

4) [quote]Can you remember any specific moment where there was an epiphany? ....a before and after seeing the actuality of no self? Was there a point when you ‘got it’?[/quote]
Not really a point. More like a slow dawning. A confirmation that what had been glimpsed years before was truth but that there was doubt and anxiety interfering with clarity. Doubt and anxiety were seen as thoughts and DE /AE trusted.

[quote]From your own experience of no self please talk about
decision, & give examples from experience.[/quote]

Decision seems to happen while there is no one that is deciding. Example- this sense that claimed decision before is seen to be not actual as things are being decided. [quote]

intention, & give examples from experience.[/quote]

Intention. There is a noticing a thought that I will walk the dog and the dog is evidently walked. This claiming of I is not there.

[quote]Free will, & give examples from experience[/quote].

Free will. I do not know who, what or where or why or how things seem to happen. I feel ‘free to’ do things but its because there is no prison sense of i as doer, i as the one at risk or to be hurt. Sense of freedom but no knowing who’s will ?


[quote]choice and control? & give examples from experience.[/quote]

There is not an I controlling or choosing. Choice happens without this chooser . I do not know how it happens or if it happens… it seems to. Control- there is no control. I do not know what will happen. Control just seems like a claim to know something and I cannot make that claim whatsoever.

[quote]What makes things happen? How does it work?
[/quote]. I do not know what makes things happen. I am not even sure things do happen. Although evidently they do. Like evidently I am answering these questions. Seemingly, apparently. It’s an action evidently happening but I cannot claim it or claim to know how it works at all. Mysterious.

[quote]What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.[/quote]

Nothing really. Although I do respond to needs of my kids, respond to my husband, to people, animals. Response happens. It just evidently does…. I do not know how this works that response happens. It all just seems so seamless in this moment that to say I am responsible seems to be assuming too much. I cannot know.

[quote]Anything to add?[/quote]
I guess I used to assume thoughts were real, or that the I was real. It’s all so strange now. I is just a thought . Thought is nothing really, no different than me. Not separate. There is no me and everything else. I am substance-less, free, everything without being a thing. It is not that a thought is not real, it just isn’t made out of anything knowable or different or threatening. Sensations used to feel threatening but it’s seen that sensations are also not knowable and are no-thing , sharing the same substance less ness as who I am . All this is saying too much . I cannot say! I want to be quiet now and just listen closely …. Just listen. Not with ears but listening
Beautifully unexplainable.

Thank you thank you for this invaluable support. ♥️♥️♥️

[Freshbundle]

Thank you Alan for your guidance. I don’t feel like I was particularly clear in answering these questions. As I walked tonight I felt I could only say that all images / things are only apparently appearing … including this body and no- thing is other or out there. Everything is me, yet there is no me. So I cannot even speak to what I am. How do I say it? I’d have to un - say it to explain. And any explanation cannot describe this. Stillness amidst everything apparent?

♥️

[Alless]

Thank you Kristyn.

I don't have any questions on what you have written, Beautiful !!

One of the things we face when trying to explain clearly that there is no such entity as an "I" is the difficulty that there is in describing what can never be actually described !! And I felt that here. We invariably feel that whatever way we try to clearly explain it, it is still unclear. That's the paradox.

I have asked other LU guides to take a look at what you have posted.

Give me a couple of days and I will be back to you with their responses.

It has been a joy to be with you in this discovery.

With love


Alan

[Alless]

Hello Kristyn,

The other guides response to what you wrote is ...... "Beautiful !"

Welcome to the doorway to home !!!

So this is really the end of the "journey" of this thread. However the truth is .....

Wherever we "arrive" is ALWAYS only the beginning ! 😊😊😊



And just before I wrap up here is something which you most probably remember seeing already that Adyashanti wrote which is at the heart of living

It is this......

“The inner teacher is a rather subtle and obscure inner force. It arises in deep inner silence when you are truly humble and sincere. It is your deepest being reaching out to you. It often has the paradoxical feel of being deeply rooted within us but also has the feeling of otherness to it as well.


One of the functions of the outer teacher is to help orient you to the inner teacher by either confirming or questioning what you feel to be the inner teacher. Listening to your own deepest wisdom is the inner teacher. And learning what is and isn’t wise through trial and error is how you more precisely hone in on the authentic inner teacher.


It is a delicate and uncertain path to discover what is wise within you.



But it is essential.”



How beautiful !!! This inner knowing - this priceless, ultimate teacher and guide.

You know this Kristyn and have known it for a long time. Let it take the tiller to guide your boat on the river of Life from now on 😊😊😊



You will see a message from one of the LU folks inviting you to join the post gate group and some other practical information as well. I'll also send you an email so that you can be in touch any time.

It has been an absolute joy to be with you in this discovery Kristyn


With love


Alan