1, when looking inside and pondering on anything your thoughts are flying about all over the place.
Are these thoughts carried out by the real authentic you ?
1.My thoughts come and go, pretty fast and mostly randomly - it's kinda channeling them, tuning in into various clouds of thoughts. They vibrate around my head and my brain operates as an antenna for them. They don't have much common with my center, core, authentic being.
2, Can you stop these thoughts?
2. I cannot stop them, though they slow down when I concentrate on my tongue and relax it.
3, can you notice that there is another person watching these thoughts /
3, can you notice that there is another person watching these thoughts
3. I sense something/somebody watching, listening to my thoughts - it's in the background, it feels like something vast, huge.
4 If so. Who is the real you ? There aren't 2 of you.
4. This is my real Self - it's hard to believe, because it feels sooo unlimited.
(I know there aren't 2 of me, only sometimes it feels that there are even more than 2 of me).
5, When I tell you that there is no Agynes and you search inside for her. What are the feelings that come up?
5. Emptiness. Nothingness. Neutral. Zero.
Agynes these answers are perfect. They indicate to me that you are well aware, and in tune with everything.
Your first answer is absolutely true. These thoughts are not authentic. They are all based on what your beliefs are, and the strength of these beliefs. When I say "Your," I am referring to your ego. This is the body mind, and no more than a reaction carried out by a pre programmed robot.
Your ego is the false self that is responsible for keeping itself safe. It will do anything not to be eliminated. It will trick you. It will create hate, fright,false feelings of despair, and all manner of sensations to make you feel like giving up your search for the real self. The worst being confusion. It will try to twist your feelings for its own survival.
The physical body can survive without a working brain. But the brain needs a fully in charge working ego to direct the body.
Your 2nd answer confirms how your ego tries to overpower you. Only with a really determined attitude can you slow down thoughts enough to be able to meditate, lets say. You have your own way of slowing them down, by relaxing your tongue. I use the method of pretending I am listening for a faint noise. Just as you would if you were sat in silence and you thought you heard something way off in the distance. The quiet brain still only lasts for a few seconds at a time though, unless you are a well practised at meditation.
Its at this point of silence that you can become acutely aware that other is this wonderful other self who is watching. This is not the Agynes who exists in the body mind, and has undergone a lifetime of learning. Firt her name, and then all kinds of things. The Agynes in the body mind who everyone knows is not real in any way. No more than a recorded message on a telephone is real. YOU, do not exist. Neuro science actually verifies this fact now, so it's not just all Buddhists, Hindu's, and various other religions, and of course, us here who know this to be true by first hand glorious experience.
The real you is that watcher. Its the same watcher that I am getting a more deeper relationship with every day now. Your real self is also my real self. It is massive. It is everywhere, and nowhere all at the same time. It is the very substance that everything in the universe and more is appearing in. It is omnipresent, and is the only real noticeable thing you will ever know.
Agynes. In knowing you are this vast, all encompassing watcher. This eternal consciousness, and that the person inside your body mind is no one but a none existent idea, in a none existent person. What feeling do you get ?
A good exercise you can do which I am stealing from someone else is this. Close your eyes and hold your hand out. Imagine there is an orange, or an apple, or a red ball sat in the palm of your hand. Picture it sat there. Look at it through your minds eye. Look at its texture, its roundness. There it is. Look at it. Through your minds eye its there. If you can hold concentration long enough, you will even feel the sensation of its presence.
Now! Open your eyes, and its gone. It was all a self created illusion. The only thing real is the observer of the body mind performing this trick. It doesn't exist, and it never did. It only existed while you produced the image. Rather like Santa Clause. The moment you realised you were being tricked. Poof! He was gone forever. It was all a lie, and a trick.
To free yourself from this illusion of Agynes in life. You have to look inwardly, and ask what is real. And what isn't.
Feelings come up. You may feel sad, for instance. When you look closely at this feeling. You will see that sadness is simply happening. Stay with sadness. Look at it. Let the watcher look at sadness happening. Stay with sadness as an observer to it. Sadness is happening, but it is happening to no one. Remember, you are the watcher.
Also, remember this. If you think about anything that is in the past, and you rerun the feelings that went along with anything in the past. You are rerunning a movie in your head that serves no one. It is dead. It never happened to anyone, so why rerun images and feel the feelings that never were? You only exist in the now. Bearing this thought in mind, everything is fresh and new in every second. The future doesn't exist as it's always still yet to come. So what would be the logical point in worrying, or thinking about anything that hasn't even happened yet?
Just let everything be in the moment. Notice how a tree doesn't need any help to be a tree. It is simply a tree being a tree. Flowers of great beauty do not require any help in being perfectly beautiful Like you Agynes, they are simply as they are. Perfect as the eternal all intended them to be. We are exactly the same, PERFECT, and exactly as was intended. All suffering we feel is a creation of the ego.Increasing the strength of the watcher enables us to simply watch, and ignore.
If its possible. get out into nature and observe yourself as being as care free as everything you see. Allow the watcher to interpret your place within nature. You are a part of everything you see. Including the sun, the moon, every single star Drop all prior thoughts of separateness. Feel that massive, love filled watchers presence, that is in all things, especially YOU for this exercise, and see if you can get that glimpse into another experience of the real you.
Do this, then mail me back with how your ego dealt with it, and what sensations it produced in you.
Much love to you. The gate is just in front of you. Look at it and see me stood inches from you. Come on Agynes. Just drop the old you and let that beautiful you who is watching join me.
Robin. {{{Hugs, and very happy Christmas}}}
